Friday, April 22, 2011

Quick Note - Storms suck, Chrono Trigger DS sucks

So, because it's going to storm, well, all weekend, I just wanted to drop a note here saying that this weekend's posts may be erratic and/or short, since if I get on, it'll likely be to post something quickly, do a few other internet-y things, and then get off to watch movies or play portable games to sustain my bad sleeping habits without the aid of something that I'm worried about shorting out with a storm.

But there is something I wanted to talk about, not at length at this time, but at least as a preamble for a future post.  The second-best version of Chrono Trigger will be on PS3/PSP as a PSOne classic.  Though it's not stated directly, let's look at the obvious.  It was rated by the ESRB for PS3 and PSP, and there's a version of the game in the PSOne bundle, Final Fantasy Chronicles.  Same page now?  Alright.  We're good then.

Now, a lot of people will tell you that the PSOne version of the game is the worst of the three because all it does is introduce a smattering of FMV cutscenes that amount to about five minutes combined, and loading times.  I, however, as a guy that played Chrono Trigger about 30 times on the SNES as a child and several other times since, will tell you that what it introduces is far less damning than what Chrono Trigger DS introduces:  A new, but worse-off script, superfluous 'multiplayer', arbitrary extra dungeons, and a new boss with a new ending dumber than half of Chrono Cross.

Because, well, that's the problem with Chrono Trigger DS.  Squeenix made both games, heard everyone yelling "THIS ISN'T A SEQUEL" and decided, "HEY.  LET'S MAKE SURE NOBODY CAN REFUTE THAT IT'S A SEQUEL." and proceeded to do so in the most ham-fisted way possible.  Obviously the new boss and ending is supposed to, well, provide a bridge between the two games (as well as a couple other things they added, which were also completely unnecessary and terribly executed).  It fails miserably because it creates a paradox in itself, if memory serves, and is just completely and totally stupid.

I hate painting with broad strokes here, which is exactly what I'm doing by saying, "THIS IS STUPID" and then not elaborating, as I am wont to do, but I assure you, this will all be explained in possibly gratuitous detail at some point in the future.  For now, suffice to say that loading times > Stupid, Superfluous and Ham-fisted nonsense.  Not to mention loading times won't likely be all that bad, considering it's a DL.  Anyone played FFIX on PSP?  For an example, I would use that to gauge whether or not it would be a problem.  I haven't, because I wasn't a fan of IX, but, same deal I imagine.

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