Thursday, April 28, 2011

I cannot state how much weather and news suck.

I'm sure you guys noticed the lack of post yesterday.  I apologize for that.  I'm sure the news of that big band of storms rocking the, well, east section of the country has spread about, and while I assure you I wasn't in one of the more affected areas (thankfully), it still kept me away, if only because we really should have gotten storms.  Er, well, kind of.  According to every weatherman and newsperson at least.  Sure, everything looked convincing enough, but as northern as I am, everything sort of went south and east of us or north and west of us.

So here is why all of the involved parties suck.  Not only could they not identify this well enough to report it, when they started reporting the (as it turned out, weather that never happened for us) they barely touched on it, and used vagueities to do so.  They didn't do the break-ins for weather alerts, despite basically the entire state being in a Tornado watch for six hours, they didn't keep the news weather-centric for the majority of the broadcast, no, they did the normal news thing with it.

They teased it.

The first news show I watched (around 10 PM, I believe), it started with a 'quick look at the situation' in which he didn't say what was going where, who should be worried about what, or anything of value.  It wasn't quite the levels of, "IT'S GONNA RAIN!", but it wasn't too much more informative.  And when he ended that with, "We'll bring you back the full forecast after this break" I knew, knew that this was going to be a long night.

I do apologize, but I really, honestly, truly do not give a shit about anything you had to say aside from the weather, News.  I don't care that Donald Trump made himself out to be a complete dumbass and nobody seemed to notice.  I don't care that that Senator who got shot months ago got on a plane to go somewhere.  I really don't care that a camera man got a snowball thrown at him by a woman who starved some horses to death!  For the record:  That is not a surprise attack, you stupid fucks.

And then, when the fucking weatherman finally did come around with the weather report (twenty minutes after saying "After this break!") he was only marginally more informative than the first time for a while before he took a wicked turn into dumb-fuck-ville.

You all know this, but these news stations spend ridiculous amounts of money on these sophisticated weather trackers and forecast machines and etc. etc. etc.  Like, this is not something that you should argue with when you spend this much money on it.  And by prefacing it like that, I'm sure we know where I'm going with this.

So, he does the FutureCast, which shows storms moving off around 11 or so and, well, not returning to my region until like 5 AM or so.  And despite this, he goes, "Now, while it's not in FutureCast, I expect some more storms to pop up in this area" (Note:  The area indicated would have moved right over my location eventually) and then provided absolutely nothing to back it up. 

And guess what?

Yeah.  That's right.  THOSE STORMS NEVER POPPED UP.  (-Some- storms popped up, but not the ones he figured on, and they were just windstorms, honestly.)

I simply cannot fathom all of this.  And I know I'm not ranting about something that nobody doesn't know about; we all know how douchey the news is, and there's nothing that can be done about it, really.  It kind of annoys me that I have to harp on this, because with as known as it is, I feel like I'm writing two pages about how fucking wet water is.  But goddamn if this shit is not infuriating.

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