Final Fantasy X & X-2 HD Have Release Dates!...For PS3

Stretch your memories all the way back to September 14th, 2011 when Final Fantasy X HD was annoucned for the Vita and PS3 (in that order) and realize that it's been over two years between then and now.  Keep in mind that the PS3 version of the game was sort of announced as an "Oh yeah, that too" deal.  Keep in mind that X-2 was added later on.  Just consider all of that for a moment, as the only version of the game that we have a release date for at this point in time is the PS3 one.  March 18th, 2014, a full two and a half years after the original announcement of the Vita game, is when the also-announced PS3 version is getting released.  With no news on the Vita version, as in the version of the game that was originally planned and announced.  I'm not sure that I'm harping on this enough.

Of course, in Japan, the games have a singular release date of December 26th, just before the end of this year, making the time between announcement and release...well, not really all that better, no.  There's something to be said of the type of release over there, however, as the PS3 version is releasing with both games on one disk, as it's planned over here, but the two Vita carts will be bundled together in one box for the exact same price.  One might take this as a hopeful sign for the Non-Japan releases, but then again, one probably hasn't dealt with Squeenix all that much if they take it as a sign of anything at all.  As we know by now, Squeenix just does things and the less sense we try to make of it all, the better we'll all be in the long run.  Though, I suppose -some- rationalizations could be made.

Releasing a digital-only game in Japan, I suspect, is just short of a death knell for any potential sales you hope to see from it.  One of those little 'secrets' of the game industry as a whole is that Japan, by and large has a certain approach to video game releases.  Games are bought up on release or a little after, beaten and then resold to the retailer in much greater numbers than such a practice sees here.  This is generally why you see re-releases of popular games that only have a few alterations made to it, because you're trying to sell this version of your game with new stuff to the people who already bought it, played it and sold it back because it was finished.  Kill the ability to resell and recoup some of that money on the consumer-side is simply something that is not on in Japan, so despite them being one of the world leaders in Internet availability and speed, they are just not having that Digital Future bullshit.  Which...I could make something of, but another night.

The issue most at hand here is that it's been widely thought that outside of Japan, FFX HD and FFX-2 HD would be digital-only on the Vita because fuck you.  I say 'because fuck you' since...well it's kind of obvious.  Space is something we're constantly fighting for because the largest memory stick available, the 32 gig, is simply not enough space for most Vita owners.  Both FFX HD and FFX-2 HD will not fit on the same Vita cart.  I don't know the full size that a Vita cart can offer, but some Vita games are already in the 3 Gig range.  So if you figure on both games, combined, being ~6 gigs, then that's already too much for half of the Vita memory sticks out there.  (4 and 8, I'm figuring the 8 only actually has ~7 gigs available and I don't know how much of that would then be OS stuff or what have you)  Basically what I'm getting at is that FFX/X-2 HD being Digital-Only is not merely bad as it is most of the time, but it's downright unfriendly to the consumer since they're just projecting the image of not caring about what the consumer is going to do for the 'privilege' of buying and playing your game.

Hopefully the delay is simply attributed to the logistics of bundling the two carts together outside of Japan and making a shiny package with it, or maybe even setting up some sort of wacky Limited Edition specifically for Vita buyers.  Hell, maybe they're just waiting to announce that every copy of the Vita version comes with a download code for Type-0.  Also Chocobo/Moogle plushies.  I'm being facetious because I figure it's better to imagine wild, never-going-to-happen scenarios and be disappointed when -they- don't happen, rather than looking at the reality of the situation (in which it's honestly not too much of a fucking hassle to release goddamn Carts) and being ultimately let down (as I always anticipate Squeenix doing anymore).  So I'll just be over here with my delusions, thank you very much.

I'm kind of stuck buying the games no matter what because I want Squeenix to acknowledge the Vita, but I'll be damned if I'm happy about buying something digital-only from them

In Which I Resume the Status Quo

My last post about the XBone was fairly positive, but that's mostly because I made sure that it would remain that way throughout because that was the point of the post.  This post is under no such obligation.  This post is another in the line of many "Goddamnit, Microsoft" posts that exist because they should, because Microsoft has clearly learned nothing. I wish this weren't the case because I know that I'm personally tired of rehashing the same points over and over again, but it's kind of appropriate to do so since I'm not the one who is doing it first.  I am in the responsive position here, not the instigative position.  If it weren't such a critical issue, I would have more or less given up on it by now, but it is certainly -not- that.  It's a big deal, bigger than we like to admit, and that it's barely getting addressed is the real issue.

In a recent interview, Albert Penello, Microsoft Senior Director of Product Management, prefaced a statement with "I always have to be really careful what I say here," and then proceeded to do no such thing, much to my amusement and frustration.  Protip:  If you ever say, "I do feel like we never got a chance to have a rational conversation about what we were trying to do," then you should probably understand that you're being very, very condescending, since it basically infers that your side was correct, but the other side was simply so rabid and/or unintelligent to understand your rationale that you just dropped it entirely.  As we know that is entirely -not- what happened, and the insistence, however passive-aggressive, that it was is just irresponsible.  I'll get to that in a minute, however.  More importantly is this little tid-bit, likening the XBone announcement (which he refers to as "the Dark Days", another good sign) to the original Duke controller.

"I always tell this story about how we did so much user testing on that thing, about how comfortable it was. Every piece of data we had said that was the best controller ever made. And then we showed it to customers and they're like, 'Oh my god, this thing's huge! It's gotta be uncomfortable!'

And you're like, 'Okay, we're done.' Because I'm not gonna be able to tell you about all the work we did, and all the data I had, and, oh by the way, when you feel it, it is really comfortable. Sometimes the customer just says 'No.' I look at it this way: I'm done; I've made up my mind. And we go, well, we've gotta fix it. It's not worth it. And that's where I think we were on the digital stuff. We'll get back to some of the cool stuff, and we have a lot of the cool stuff still in there."

Do take note that unless he's talking about -another- Duke controller that was much larger than the one that we got, it doesn't spell out a whole lot of anything for this story.  Since the Duke was famously large and, despite Penello's assertions, uncomfortable, which is why the second controller was made during the OXBox's lifetime that was much smaller and the prototype for what the 360 got.  So what I'm getting at here is that this is a really bad story to tell, especially in relation to this topic.  Which makes the fact that he stated earlier on,

"The thing I want to be super explicit about, because I do think people are worried about, is once we made the decision to go to physical disc security, we're not unwinding that decision. We're committed to the physical disc; we're committed to trading and loaning. This is my official: 'We're not going back on that.' I don't want anybody to think we 'got' them, and then tomorrow I'm gonna go back to the old stuff, 'cause that's not gonna happen."

...needlessly suspicious!  Speaking, sir!  You are bad at it.  Note the same smarmy condescending tone to this little anecdote as well, further reinforcing...well, what I've said. 

But that's not the worst of it.  Not by a -long- shot.  The worst comes right at the end, and it's the part that just absolutely makes my blood boil because it is precisely the wrong thing to say ever.

Regardless, Penello admitted that, in the end, it was the right decision. He still believes the all-digital future is coming. "We just think that's the way the future's gonna go," he said. "We may have been right. What we were wrong about was that it's just too soon. People just weren't ready to make that leap right away."

This.  This thing that you're doing right here?  Stop doing it.

You don't get to proclaim that the thing you're doing is ahead of its time.  Things are only declared to be ahead of their time after history has played out and you go "Hmm, I wonder why this thing is happening" and then you find out the progenitor of it.  In this case, the Dreamcast is the thing that was ahead of its time since it was wacky enough to try and introduce internet-based multi-player gameplay, even though internet as a whole was not even a standard, much less good.  Microsoft took this concept and added their own...'improvements', which, combined with the Dreamcast's following despite the lack of real purchasing power behind that, prompted the others to follow suit.  That is why we have online multi-player and such in our consoles, rather than it simply being a PC thing, though it could be argued that it, too, was an 'inevitability'.

All of what that translates into for me personally is "See you again for Round 2", which almost makes me weary just thinking about it.  This time around was hard enough, but we managed to put up a brick wall of common fucking sense.  I believe that's due in no small part to the fact that digital purchases are still on shaky grounds with Consoles, especially with the shift between this gen and next and the almost-lack of connectivity in-between.  We'll not have that cushion when the XTwo and the PS5 are announced since they'll likely retain a PC-like architecture meaning there should be no trouble making them backwards compatible with the XBone and PS4.  Since the entire library of games will be digital at that point (minus the few that get de-listed for licensing issues and such), it might not cause much of a kerfuffle there.  On top of that is the theory that the internet -is- getting -slightly- better in an average sense, but not an 'everywhere' sense, and I'm just seeing a lot more people becoming accepting of the idea of something like the XBone was originally set to be.  The bad parts of it.

Call me cynical, but the short-sightedness of it is what makes me believe it's possible.  That there were even defenders of the XBone this time around, with the majority of them being people crowing from the rooftops, "Fuck you, got mines" is more than enough to crush the spirit a little bit.  The issue is that it's just not something that should be done, because it's not something that can be done.  Internet Infrastructure is not a world-wide standard.  Internet Service Providers are considered, as a general statement, to be among the worst companies out there (up there with Gas Companies, Insurance Companies and EA for some reason) and there is a reason for that.  They are providing a service that is infinitely invaluable because of short-sightedness and by that virtue, they have free reign on what they can and can't do, with the latter being 'not a whole lot'.  What's going to change that?  I ask that as a real, actual, legitimate question.  It's not rhetorical, I'm not going to say "Nobody, that's who" because I don't know that.  But I also do not know -who- is going to make the ISPs start behaving like the less-evil multi-million dollar corporations out there.  And somebody has to do it if we're all gung-ho for this stupid notion of an "Always Online" future.

I'm still just shaking my head at the condescending vibe that oozes from every single word said, goddamn

Okay, This Trend Needs to Stop Before It Starts

It's been known for a while that Metal Gear Solid V would be yet another of the Cross-Gen titles coming out, releasing for both PS3 and 360, but PS4 and XBone as well.  It's also been known that Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes, the prologue to the actual meat of MGS V, The Phantom Pain, would be releasing beforehand due to it being a prologue and all.  That was roughly all the information that we knew to this point, however, and that finally changed today....kind of.

The release window has narrowed from "2014" to "Spring 2014" which is, of course, considerably more focused, but it's clearly still not ready for an official release just yet.  We also have prices....in a sense, and this is where things get a bit tricky.  Current gen prices for the packaged versions of the game (meaning PS3/360 disks) will be £30, which roughly translates to about $48, assuming they don't do that thing they do where they just exchange £ and $.  Current gen prices for digital versions of the game, however, will be £20, which roughly translates to about $32.  And then there's an entry for the price of the Next-Gen downloadable versions, which is the aforementioned £30 or ~$48.  So, what's the price for the Next-Gen packaged version?  Uhh..

Well, apparently there won't fucking be one.

It's already been confirmed elsewhere from the linked article - Ground Zeroes is going to be Digital-Only on the PS4/XBone and I have only one thing to say to that:  Fuck that.

Next Gen games are going to be fucking huge - Killzone:  Shadow Fall is just south of 40 GB as a compressed file (down from a hefty 290 GB) as an example - and I can't imagine that Ground Zeroes, the first Open-World Metal Gear Solid title is going to be an exception to that, prologue or not.  My thoughts on digital-only games has been well-covered at this point (even if I understand that it's a necessity -sometimes-, and can acknowledge that there are varying degrees of problem areas to it) but I think we can all agree that downloading 40 gigs is simply unfeasible for a majority of the people playing games out there.  Not only is there speed issues to consider (since we're not all blessed with the ability to pay for wonderful internet), but there is that whole pesky issue about Data Caps that has not gone away by some sort of magic or sorcery.  So it's at this point that I would like to ask Developers to kindly pull their heads out of their goddamn asses.

I'm going to reiterate the very point I made back when Microsoft assumed the internet was magical and ever-present around the entire goddamn world:  It's fucking not.  Internet infrastructure is actually pretty piss-poor in the United States (not to mention neighboring Canada and Mexico) since the farther out from a major city you get (not even the semi-major cities) there is a drastic drop-off in speed, capacity and what have you.  Everyone in the industry seems to forget this constantly, because, and I'm just guessing here, a lot of developers are based out of major cities.  I can see how it's possible that it's easy to forget what you -don't- have to deal with, but that doesn't make it any better.  Still, I think even some of these people would have an issue downloading 40-50 Gig games on the regular.  So hopefully this little idea of "Digital Future" stays in the future now as it has done so already, because we just are not ready for it yet.

I mean, seriously, Ground Zeroes is going to be fucking huge even if it's supposed to be a 'short' game are we kidding anyone thinking otherwise

Swapnote is Effectively Dead

Swapnote, also known as one of the few genuinely interesting things about the 3DS has more or less been cut off at the legs and left to crawl for the immediate and indefinite future.  While Swapnote is not going away completely, the main component of it, the SpotPass sending feature has been indefinitely suspended, meaning the only way you can get notes from anyone, including official notes from Nintendo and affiliates...is through StreetPass sending.  Also known as that fucking thing that never happens ever.  The difference between SpotPass and StreetPass is that SpotPass uses the internet and StreetPass uses the little range of Nintendo wireless that goes out from the device, and is usually just picked up by other 3DS systems while you're out and about except it never really works that way because I guess not enough people are carrying around 3DS systems with this feature enabled.

So, the long and short of it becomes - sending Swapnotes through the internet to your friends is feasible, whereas sending Swapnotes to people around you is not...because you both have to Friend Code one another and if you're close enough to one another that you can send Swapnotes with StreetPass, you can do fucking everything else.  Granted there are some uses, I suppose, mostly the types that make you go "D'aww", like setting a Note with a sweet message to your significant other to send during their work day, but otherwise the uses are limited and made even moreso by redundancy. All of this is rather hilarious when you discover the reason, however.

The following message was sent out through official Nintendo bulletins, the official Nintendo website and has basically been copy-pasted at every news site covering this story, so it's fairly easy to find.  Still:

Thank you for your support.

Nintendo has learned that some consumers, including minors, have been exchanging their friend codes on Internet bulletin boards and then using Swapnote (known as Nintendo Letter Box in other regions) to exchange offensive material. Nintendo has been investigating ways of preventing this and determined it is best to stop the SpotPass feature of Swapnote because it allows direct exchange of photos and was actively misused.

Nintendo always wants to provide a positive experience for all consumers and limit the risk of any inappropriate activity or misuse of a service. We feel it is important on this occasion to take this action.

We are very sorry for any inconvenience to the many consumers who have been using this service responsibly; however this decision was made considering the point that many minors also use this feature of Swapnote. Thank you for your understanding.

Nintendo will continue to work to ensure more consumers are aware of our Parental Control features, which allow parents to manage their children’s experience on our systems. For more information, please click here.

• Service stop date: Thursday, Oct. 31, 2013, 7 p.m. PT
• Service being stopped: Nintendo 3DS software Swapnote – Sending and receiving notes using SpotPass
• Affected regions: All regions where the service was offered

Special Notes services are also stopped

So, in all reality, it's another case of Nintendo bending over backwards to ensure that they're being over-the-top cloyingly kid-friendly which is exactly what makes the masses at large scoff at them.  However, you can't really be mad at Nintendo for trying to protect the children - we shouldn't be trying to -not- protect them, after all - but there are varying levels of response, and Nintendo's Madagascarian approach is...less than understandable.  Especially since it was blatantly obvious from Day One that Swapnote was going to be 'misused' in the way they're suggesting.  Not only are you able to draw and write anything because there's a complete lack of filters, given that they are 'private' messages (no pun intended) meaning no peer review, but you can eventually unlock the ability to attach pictures taken with your 3DS cameras or the odd game that supports screenshots (like Animal Crossing: New Leaf).  A 3D camera, that is, on a device that supports 3D images.  Who didn't see the inevitability of lewd pictures being sent around to take advantage of that feature?

Apparently Nintendo.  What makes a further mockery of the situation is Nintendo's own basic admission that the Friend Code system that we've had to suffer with for -years- for the safety of the children has utterly failed.  The Friend Code system was basically built as its own fail-safe - kids aren't smart enough to figure out ways to exchange codes with anyone but those they 'should' be exchanging with, and thus effectively shuts them out from the folks nobody wants kids associating with.  This assumes, however, that kids are incapable of using the internet at an even rudimentary level and that they are also not allowed to do so without impunity.  Such assumptions are incorrect to make, and we have been saying this for -years- in argument against the Friend Code system since it does not actually protect people so much as it inconveniences them.

Regardless, it's strange that Nintendo pulled the plug on everything SpotPass-related to Swapnote, including the special notes that developers could send out to get you hyped in the latest game, as well as Nikki's notes that informed you of certain things regarding Nintendo News or what have you.  At that point it becomes less "We're saving the children!" and more "We're cutting costs, fuck you", or at least that's where my mind went first.  Still, Nintendo gonna Nintendo, I suppose and while it would have just made more sense to kill the photo-sharing aspect of Swapnote (besides Developer access for screenshots), I imagine the cost aspect -does- come into play a bit, which is why the entire thing was killed in every way that makes it worthwhile.  And I don't see it coming back either, which is unfortunate, since it was fun drawing off little notes and sending them off, even if I didn't make much use of it.  So, goodbye Swapnote, you were fun while it lasted.

I'm a little annoyed that I spent play coins on stationary now, though

Nosgoth Officially Revealed, Looks Terrible

...

....sigh.

Fucking hell.

Nosgoth was rumored and then confirmed a while ago, and I posited the worst-case scenarios for what it could've been.  Me.  The guy who is terrible at predictions.  The guy who is almost proven wrong constantly when doing this kind of thing.  So lo and behold, I got this one right and yes, it's as miserable of a feeling as you might imagine.  Everything I see about this game screams MOBA even if it isn't the typical DOTA set-up that so many MOBAs seem to be aping.  Everything I see from that trailer also looks absolutely terrible, and it's honestly really difficult to even consider this world a reality at the moment.  Much less put that into words.

Essentially, Nosgoth takes places during the big time skip between Blood Omen 1 and Soul Reaver 1 in which the world is plunged into chaos because of the fall of the Pillars of Balance and the rising army of vampires against humanity.  And possibly the Hylden too, but they don't seem like they're getting facetime this go around.  Spoiler alert:  The Vampires more or less win.  So, congratulations, Nosgoth is entirely moot before we even -start- things.  Just wanted to throw that out there.  It is basically existing solely on Rule of Cool except it doesn't....contain anything cool within its confines.  It contains things of pain and terror, things that I don't want to comprehend and things that I just don't want to talk about.  But I must.  So let's jump right into that, I suppose.

Nosgoth is being billed as a Tactical/Team-Based Third-Person Action game where you play as either humans or vampires battling against each other.  Humans are ranged-based, focusing on bows and arrows, crossbows, mines...flamethrowers and grenade launchers, you know, normal medieval fare, whereas Vampires are melee-focused, having the ability to get around easier so that they can get right up in a human's face to eat it off.  It....sounds a little unwieldy, and I'm not quite sure how it's going to be balanced, especially when the video seems to suggest that everyone is made of paper.  Though I guess that...is -one- way to do it, I suppose, making everyone super lethal, so that the vampires move a little faster (and can climb buildings and such) to compensate against the humans being able to shoot them from thirty feet away.  I'd say that I'm sure it'll work out somehow, but I'm really not - the game just doesn't look good and the concept ruins any and all chance of me giving it any benefit of the doubt.

I just kind of feel bad for Psyonix, since I imagine they were just saddled with this, and they honestly just don't know what to do with it.  So they fit right in at Squeenix.  Even though it's going to be free-to-play (of course) I'm certainly not going to give it another look after tonight and I'm sure that I'm not alone in that.  Unfortunate, really, since Squeenix will spin the lack of attention towards a conclusion stating that people don't want Legacy of Kain anymore.  That's a fallacy, of course, but it's the way of things.  Not the best way to see off the series in the least which is disappointing but, again, it's just not even surprising given how many dumb decisions Squeenix are capable of making and have made already.  Still, it's nice to know that it's going to be a train-wreck than to just assume it I suppose.

seriously, Squeenix, just what the hell

Well, That Was Short-Lived

I would like to start off by saying that I'm sorry.  Kind of.  I'm sorry if, after my faint praise of the game and its low, low sale price were enticing enough for you to have bought the game, then I apologize.  Not because Touch My Katamari eventually turns into a game that lives and breathes on punching you in the dick and laughing at your torment or anything, no.  In fact, it's very fair and when you unlock the Eternal Modes for the levels, it's quite enjoyable indeed.  Fundamentally, there's not a whole lot wrong with the game part of the game if you don't count the fact that it's kind of short.  There is something, however, that is one of those naturally terrible things that just grate on me because it screams of design that you should never ever ever incorporate into a game.  Ever.

The currency of the game world in Touch My Katamari is Candy.  You get candies for finishing requests (based on your performance), for buying things for the King (never as many as you spent) and for playing every day.  That last one is the key - playing a few days in a row will only get you a couple to a handful of candies, whereas a full ten days in a row and thereafter will get you 256 candies simply for loading up the game.  That seems like a lot, right?  It does.  Until you learn that everything costs thousands of candies.  Some of it is the low thousands so it's not -bad-, since you're earning a couple hundred easy from requests anyway (so long as you're not getting really low scores, which you -won't- in Eternal because you'll be rolling all of the things), but it's still a bit of a slog to buy everything.  Even utilizing Candy Tickets, which multiply your candies earned in a request by 2, then 4, then 8 (if you use three at a time) won't get you a -lot-, but it'll get you a good amount towards buying things.

And if you want all the dozen trophies that Touch My Katamari has to offer, then you're going to have to buy all the things.  Specifically all of the music (you'll want to anyway, the music is more or less pretty good) and all the King's clothes, which is where the issue is.  You see, the upper echelon of outfits for the King's wardrobe will cost in the high thousands per piece meaning you're kind of stuck playing the levels over and over and over and over again...which is fine in theory.  Either that or, if you're going for the mega secret ultimate hidden item, which is literally a golden poop soft-serve that costs a grand 76,500 Candies which is...far more than the rest of the items in the game combined.  By quite a wide margin.  Given that your biggest get for a single level using three candy tickets if you finish off all the bonus things in the same level (which are one-time-only affairs) is probably somewhere around 1,000-1,400 candies.  Maybe.  For about 15-20 minutes playtime.  You....can see how this will end up being a sort of a problem.

This is where that bit about the 256 candies per day comes into play.  See, the silly thing about Touch My Katamari is that, even though there's something that clearly checks an external source for the date and time (the rank/title vendor, basically - you title will upgrade as you continue to play the game which eventually gives you candy multiplier bonuses that do not stack with tickets) you can go into a menu (guides suggest the curio menu) switch to settings, advance the day by one, go back into the game, exit the menu and get handed 256 candies.  You can repeat this process over and over and over again and it will take you a long time, but it will be far, far faster than getting the candies legitimately.  And by far, far faster, I mean it will take hours of your life and cause you to advance the clock manually, day-by-day, to June 22nd, 2014 if you started today with a no-streak (meaning the first ten days were building up to the 256).  Like I did.  Today.  Right before I bought the golden poop soft-serve and got the trophy for getting the golden poop soft-serve, uploaded my save data to online storage and deleted that shit.

That is really my main issue with the game other than it being short, but it's a pretty damn serious issue if you have terrible not-actually-OCD-but-let's-call-it-that-anyway like I do, and as a design philosophy, it's abhorrent.  You might think, with Namco and the way they treat Katamari games, that it was a trick to get you to -buy- candy with real money, but no, that's not even an option.  You can by Fan Damacies (that are otherwise completely random spawns) which you trade for Candy Tickets (and also unlock the free DLC missions with) and that's basically the gist of the whole....real-money aspect to it.  Aside from maybe buying more music or something, I didn't really look into it.  And it's not that I was going to buy candy, it's just that I was assured that that's what Namco wanted me to do.  But no....no it was not.  Which makes the decision even more baffling.  Still, for $3.75 and Eternal Modes, it was a rather fun, enjoyable game that would've been easily "alright" if it wasn't for that whole glaring issue.  As it stands, I just can't continue to recommend it unless you just...don't care about trophies at all.  Which is probably the healthy move.

it burns usssss, needs the trophies precious

Nintendo Announces the 2DS, Nobody Knows What the Hell

In a stunning, out-of-friggin'-nowhere announcement that Nintendo made today (alongside a few others), it seems that they've developed and created a new 3DS that will be out in just under two months when Pokemon X and Y hit the shelves.  Actually calling it a new 3DS is...a little tricky, however, because it lacks the titular element that made the 3DS the 3DS.  So much so, that it has a different name entirely:  the Nintendo 2DS.  It means exactly what it says on the tin, because the shiny 3D effects that the 3DS outputs and whatnot are entirely stripped from this new system, leaving every game (even the ones specifically designed around the 3D effect) stuck in the 2D plane literally and figuratively as opposed to the quasi-3D plane that they previously achieved through the 3DS' (admittedly alright) methods.  Because, you know, that was necessary.

The 2DS does quite a bit more to differentiate itself from the 3DS aside from simply losing the 3D, however.  Gone is the clamshell design that, while it apparently sometimes causes scratches to the upper screen, made the device a portable one which is...you know, the point of it.  Size Comparison shots put the new 2DS at about the size of an original 3DS unfolded, but just a bit smaller while retaining screen size.  I think.  Looks like it at least.  Basically this thing is not going into your pocket to make use of Streetpassing and the mobility-centric things that Ninendo designed for the 3DS specifically so you would walk around with it in your pocket unless you just really have big pockets and aren't worried about the exposed screens getting all mussed up.  Thanks to the shell-less design, however, we finally do have proper Start and Select buttons (possibly....they have to be better than the crappy ones on the 3DS and XL) and a Home Button that looks a -little- better, even if it's specifically reminiscent of iDevices.  The entire aesthetic and layout is changed as well and looks....terribly uncomfortable, with the main things directly in the middle with the shoulder buttons on the top of it.  Given its smaller size, maybe it's better than it looks (in fact, it almost assuredly is) but it doesn't give the best first impression.

Something else that's rather interesting about the 2DS is that, thanks to the lack of a Clamshell design, the two screens of the handheld are actually -one- screen this time around.  Which means that the whole thing is a touch screen, but you can only make use of the bottom half of it.  This is mostly a cost-cutting measure as is most of the design choices with the 2DS.  And at a pricepoint of $129.99, it's pretty obvious why.  By cutting all of the bells, whistles and some basic functionality, they're able to put out a really dumb iteration of the 3DS which is selling fine thank you specifically to market towards kids on the day that Pokemon comes out.  Because the people who really want Pokemon are not the people who have already bought a 3DS, clearly.  The fence-sitting "only going to buy one when Pokemon comes out" crowd is clearly a large one that deserves some subset of pandering to.  And the argument, again is, "It's for kids!" but what kid has been crowing about a 3DS since it came out that -doesn't- have one?  And how many of those kids who haven't gotten one are actually going to get this one?

The answer is:  Probably a lot.  Because it doesn't make sense.  The only -actual- level this makes any bit of sense on is the financial one, which I suppose is the only level it needs to function on, but still.  It's beyond silly to design a console specifically around a feature and then remove that feature just because.  You could draw some allusions to Microsoft and the recent shenanigans they made, but it's a highly different beast for very simple reasons:  1) Microsoft's original XBone was detrimental and harmful to the gaming model as a whole and would have not been sustainable on the level they were expecting and 2) Their decisions to remove the functions was purely reactionary.  Perhaps if the 3DS had been the 2DS from the on-set after the original announcement and people went "We don't need 3D, 3D is lame!" and such, then, yes, that would have been reactionary and comparable.  But this is just mucking about with something simply to squeeze a little more money out of it in a ridiculous fashion and it comes off as one of those "Nintendo Desperate" moves in an atmosphere where they don't need to be desperate just yet.

I really had to resist the urge to add the "I never asked for this" jpeg

Sony, This is Not How You Do a Price Drop

The 'Super Slim' Model of the PS3 isn't anything new, having been around since September, so just under a year, and it's quite obvious that it's going to be the last way to get a PS3 unless, you know, you do some online shopping or find a store that just so happens to have a regular Slim (or even rarer, a late-model 'phat').  Initially, this posed something of a nagging issue as the Super Slim was introduced at the exact same price-point of the regular Slim with neither of them taking a price-cut.  People started questioning the worth if it and, well, rightly so, since there was no real price difference or anything.  Traditionally there...are changes and such when this type of thing goes down.  But whatever, everyone just sort of ignored it and assumed the price would quietly be dropped down at some point and any late-comers could grab a PS3 on the cheap-ish to enjoy some of the great exclusives that the PS3 offered this generation.  It's only now, almost a full year later, that we see a Super Slim model at a lowered price-point and it is, uh...less than ideal.

The new 12 Gig (Solid State/Flash memory versus Hard Disk Drive) Super Slim will debut at $199.99 in North America and even it is not a new thing on the market.  This model of the Super Slim was previously exclusive to European and Hong Kong regions and for some reason it didn't die a horrible death of obscurity in the meanwhile as Sony moved further and further into digital ventures.  If it's not patently obvious, I question its existence in the first place and further wonder why it's re-emerging since it seems....quite a bit senseless if I'm being honest here.  Clearly, I'm not in the minority of people questioning it either, but what really bugs me is that it effectively kills any chance of a proper PS3 being put on sale for any less than the $270 pricetag it's currently sporting (generally with bundles and the like).  As someone who is basically in the market for a new PS3 because I am just tired of worrying about my 80 gig, I was hoping to find a nice budgeted version at some point considering I have spent about $570 on -just- PS3s (my original purchase, plus a YLOD replacement refurb) and the idea of setting that further up to $840 is...distasteful to say the least.

The common defense I'm basically seeing for the thing is that the Flash Memory isn't in the same place where the HDD bay is, so you can theoretically buy this model, buy a 1-2 TB drive and slap it right home.  Easily.  So easily that Sony even gives you instructions on the topic and whole-heartedly encourage the process.  The issue here is that, yes, you could spend about $70 on a 1TB and have precisely twice the space of a 500 gig that will run you $270, but I don't care I don't wanna fiddle with shit.  Selfish reason, granted since the pragmatic approach would be to do just that if it's even possible (I don't see why it wouldn't be), but just because you -can- do something doesn't mean you should, nor should you -have- to when it comes to circumstances like these.  Yet the problem is that you're still paying the same price regardless when the hope was...you know, for something less.  Which says nothing for the recently-deserved fear of consoles with higher-capacity HDDs becoming useless after Firmware updates until, you know fixed versions come out which you'll have to plop in through Safe mode and blah blah blah, nonsense.

Maybe it was silly of me to think that there was going to be a proper price-drop for the system in the looming wake of the PS4's release, considering there's going to be a 500 Gig GTAV Bundle for $270 (which, hell, I might just look into because I'm getting GTAV anyway and it's just a pack-in game with a new system and 500 gigs of space) coming out in September which is just...months (perhaps even -a- month) before the PS4 releases proper.  Of course, the PS3 is going to be a necessity regardless of the PS4's launch given the unfortunate lack of backwards compatibility (which is completely understandable, but still).  That is likely the reason for a non-drastic drop and instead something along the lines of this 12-gig silliness.  Much like the 4 Gig XBox 360, it honestly has no place in this world (even if the 12 gig is 'better' because you don't have to pay for proprietary memory like the 360) and it....just annoys me that it exists.  Oh well.  Never let it be said that I'm not willing to call Sony out on stupid things, I suppose.

honestly I kind of just want a new PS3 with lots of space so I can download my PS+ games for the stupid amount of time it'll take and not worry about the thing catching fire...or just using the warranty if it does

Nosgoth is Confirmed, All Sorts of Red Flags

Who's ready for some more bad news?  It's not like there hasn't been -enough- of that this week, of course.  Still, the suck train has to keep on rollin' and is it any surprise that Squeenix has taken over the conducting for the evening?  No?  Of course it isn't.  After the news about Deus Ex: The Fall being a Tablet/Phone FPS you might be wondering at just how they could top that in the terrible ideas department.  I mean, that is....that is kind of a doozy to pull off, and I'm not -exactly- sure that the news actually tops it.  It comes close, though, even if it's kind of a 'thing' that a lot of companies are doing.  What is that thing?

Taking a Single-Player and needlessly turning it into a multi-player affair of course!

A while back, there were some listings of a "Nosgoth" title through Squeenix registering "WarForNosgoth.com" and some AMD Crossfire driver files called "Nosgoth" and "War For Nosgoth" which kind of made it seem like Squeenix was going to do -something- with the Legacy of Kain franchise.  For those not in-the-know, Nosgoth is actually the name of the land that the Legacy of Kain franchise takes place in, of course, which makes it pretty difficult to think that those things are for anything -but- a Legacy of Kain game.  Yet, Squeenix bucks expectations yet again and I cannot help but sit here and hold my head and laugh.  Because this is absolutely absurd that I'm about to type what I'm about to type, and yet, it was straight from the mouth of George Kelion, Squeenix's Community Manager.

"Nosgoth exists and is in active development, but is not a traditional Legacy of Kain action-adventure game," Kelion said. "Nosgoth is set in the same universe as previous LoK games, but on a different branch to the Blood Omen and Soul Reaver series. The community should not be thinking of Nosgoth in terms of a single-player experience."

'The community should not be thinking of Nosgoth in terms of a single-player experience.'

It's pretty much at this point that I just want to stop acknowledging this is a thing that exists.  Because a multi-player game in the Legacy of Kain game that doesn't involve Kain and/or Raziel just sounds like the worst idea possible.  Oh, also Crystal Dynamics isn't developing it.  Just....just needed to throw that in there to sort of reinforce the whole 'worst idea possible' thing.  Despite the overwhelming stupidity of all of that, let's...hell, let's try to do something with this.  Let's just take a look at what a few ideas of a multi-player non-Kain/Raziel Legacy of Kain game could....could attempt to be.  If only to be masochistic, because some of these ideas....well, they are certainly ideas.

1.  An MMO

Look.  I know this is a bullshit idea, but they're -all- bullshit ideas in the whole context of it, really.  But let's look at facts here - the game is going to be called "War for Nosgoth" and it's not going to be a Single-Player game.  Which means you're going to have Person-to-Person conflict, likely, which means you're going to have two factions (Humans and Vampires) which means you've got the perfect set-up for an MMO since it really only requires that much of a set-up.  The rest of it, the faction stories, the quests that kill time while you get to level 50 or 60 or what have you, it's all honestly kind of secondary because the impetus is to get you in the door and on a team.  In the immortal words of Stephen Colbert:  "Pick a side, we're at war".  It's the easiest concept in the book which is why we've seen so many MMOs start up.  Of course, because it's so easy, there's a lot of....under-thought concepts that lead to a lot of those MMOs failing miserably.  Which is neutral to my point, of course.

Squeenix obviously doesn't really care about this since they're honestly not giving a Legacy of Kain title a Legacy of Kain attempt of work.  I don't care if this comes out as an MMO and it's the slickest shit you've ever seen and plays awesome and whatever.  It won't, but I wouldn't care if it did.  It's not going to be an excellently written and acted single-player game that revolves around Kain and/or Raziel as they draw nearer and nearer to their ultimate conflict that was set-up in Raziel's first game.  It's not going to be a Legacy of Kain game.  So making War for Nosgoth an MMO makes perfect sense in terrible idea world since if you ignore literally everything, you have a game that is easy to think up and work around, has to be purchased and then subscribed to, thus making mad bank, all while just sort of doing its own thing by existing.

Of course, you would think that maybe Squeenix knows a little better about attempting MMOs now...but I'm not willing to give them that benefit of the doubt.

2.  A MOBA

MOBAs, I'm told, are kind of the 'next thing' now that we're steadily shifting away from MMOs.  If anything, MOBAs seem even easier to figure out than MMOs, what with not having to really even bother with pesky story or anything like that, but I'm gonna level with you here.  I have no fucking concept of what a MOBA is because I avoid everything related to League of Legends like the fucking plague.  But I know of other things of its type springing up, like Infinite Crisis DC Universe, Blizzard All-Stars and Dawngate, and I know of them all being MOBAs which is still some term that exists on the internet that I don't care about entertaining.

These types of games seem to rely exclusively on the 'Hero' characters of which you are allowed to play any of in a match that consists of your team going from one side of a map to the other and killing your enemies until someone kills the other team better and eventually wins.  Being that they're apparently inventing a whole new side to Nosgoth, dummying up about two dozen "Heroes" for the Humans and Vampires should be a breeze.  Depending on the timeline they use, it's -possible- they could use a few established characters, but I doubt very highly that they will, since just about everything here reeks of "We're not doing anything at all with the original Legacy of Kain games" because, well.....obvious theory is obvious.  The likelihood of this being the easier cash-in option is very high and all I can figure on War for Nosgoth being is some cheap cash-in.

3. Awkward Forced Co-Op Game

This one is probably the hardest to actually name, because there's all sorts of games that live and breathe on co-op and don't do it awkwardly, like the Left 4 Dead games and such, but this is, well, Squeenix.  Using Nosgoth as a basis for some type of multi-player game that doesn't involve Kain or Raziel which I cannot harp on enough unless I am misinterpreting "on a different branch to the Blood Omen and Soul Reaver series" in some fashion.  Suggesting that they make some sort of Co-Op game (hopefully third-person melee, I swear to God, if they have some sort of gun or gun replacements, I will flip) in the vein of any of these types of things is, well, just asking for it to be terrible, awkward and forced.

Because of the way the Legacy of Kain timeline is set-up, there are basically two areas where Humans vs. Vampires can be an effective setting.  The original timeline which was messed around with by Moebius in a way that actually -prevented- the 'war' as it was since it sort of pre-emptively lead to the premature destruction of vampires as a whole or the timeline that occurs after, wherein Kain takes his throne of power and begins creating Vampires that then go to war with, and eventually overcome, humankind despite their best efforts and holy warriors.  They're....really sort of similar situations, it's just that the main aggressor changes from one to the other.  This is still fairly easy to sort of plop out for a bit of cash with really no effort or care to the original subject matter.

I think to say that whatever comes of War for Nosgoth will be something I don't care about is an under-statement.  I could be wrong, and since this is all me sort of predicting things, there is a good chance that I -will- be wrong.  I just don't know, however.  The red flags are flying high and basically some guy that works for Squeenix announced it before it was officially announced with this thought process:

"This isn't something we'd normally do," Kelion explained, regarding the decision to confirm the game's existence, "but we wanted to just give folks a bit more context for the direction, rather than just batten down the hatches."

This is something you only say when you are abjectly terrified of crowd response because you know what you are doing is wrong.  "Hey, we're bringing back the Legacy of Kain universe but WHOA HEY HOLD ON, STOP CHEERING, IT'S NOT GOING TO BE SINGLE-PLAYER OR INVOLVE THE OTHER GAMES" is a terrible, terrible ploy with which you launch your new game and it's sad when -you obviously know this- and yet you do it anyway.  Whatever this is going to be, unless it looks shit-hot amazing, it literally has no real buyer base.  Legacy of Kain fans won't buy it because it's not Legacy of Kain, people unfamiliar will either look at it and say "Oh, it's (this game) but with Vampires" or ask people who have played Legacy of Kain games for background, who will then say "No, don't worry about that, it's going to suck".  It just doesn't make sense.

Go home, Squeenix.

they may or may not in fact be drunk

Get Fucked, Microsoft

I'm not supposed to be so outwardly negative.

I'm supposed to be responsible.  Supposed to try and take everything objectively and lay it out that way.  Supposed to have a certain level of separation between the news and my opinion of it.  I like to think I accomplish that more often than not, whether that's actually true or not.

Tonight is the exception.

Allll those things we were told in 'rumors' about the XBone that made it seem like this horribly ill-conceived idea that nobody really should've expected to go along with because they are that dumb?  All of those things that are so unbelievable consumer un-friendly that it has entered a realm of absurdity to assume they were true?  All of those things that should, by all logic and rights, be a fucking death wish for the product?

They are all true.

Internet Check-In Every 24 Hours or else your gaming console cannot play games?  Confirmed.  Officially on XBox.com.

With Xbox One you can game offline for up to 24 hours on your primary console, or one hour if you are logged on to a separate console accessing your library. Offline gaming is not possible after these prescribed times until you re-establish a connection, but you can still watch live TV and enjoy Blu-ray and DVD movies. 

Thank fucking Christ for the under-lined, though.  I mean, if you don't have internet for an extended period of time, at least you can use your $500 GAME CONSOLE to watch a fucking movie!  Because who needs to blow off steam with a video game when you can't do anything but watch TV/movies or read physical copies of things that this type of product specifically expects you to eschew.  Why buy DVDs/Blu-Rays when Netflix is right there with all sorts of stuff (Mogs Note:  Netflix does not actually have all sorts of stuff that you want.  Did you hear about South Park and old Bond movies being de-listed?  DIGITAL FUTURE!) until oh no, it's not right there because the fucking internet is out which is a common fucking occurrence.  But gaming?  Every 24 hours if you want to play it, which is fine and dandy if you live in wonderland where your internet ever ever ever goes out for more than an hour or so at a time.  Less so if you live in the real world.

Is giving your copy of a game to a friend or a store more complicated than it needs to be?  Confirmed.  And on XBox.com.

Today, some gamers choose to sell their old disc-based games back for cash and credit. We designed Xbox One so game publishers can enable you to trade in your games at participating retailers.  Microsoft does not charge a platform fee to retailers, publishers, or consumers for enabling transfer of these games.

In our role as a game publisher, Microsoft Studios will enable you to give your games to friends or trade in your Xbox One games at participating retailers. Third party publishers may opt in or out of supporting game resale and may set up business terms or transfer fees with retailers.

Cutting the bullshit out, what this all means is that 'certain retailers' (Meaning, likely GameStop, -maybe- Best Buy and/or Wal-Mart since they're in the Used business) will be able to take your XBone games when you want to trade them in and it will likely be fine.  And you can buy that game used and it will also probably be fine, maybe.  Because third-parties will be allowed to decide every single thing that happens with their game.  EA decides they don't want you to be able to sell your games?  Well, they opt out of supporting that.  That simple.  Activision wants to assign a transfer fee instead of just blocking resale entirely?  Hell, they're more than able to do that.  The optimist in me wants to say that most companies will maintain the status quo since, well, that is entirely possible with this method....I think, but the optimist in me is stupid.  Also, it...kind of directly clashes with something else that's being hailed as 'the good news' in all of this.

Your friends and family, your guests and acquaintances get unlimited access to all of your games.  Anyone can play your games on your console--regardless of whether you are logged in or their relationship to you.

Xbox One will enable new forms of access for families. Up to ten members of your family can log in and play from your shared games library on any Xbox One. Just like today, a family member can play your copy of Forza Motorsport at a friend’s house. Only now, they will see not just Forza, but all of your shared games.  You can always play your games, and any one of your family members can be playing from your shared library at a given time.

I'm gonna be honest.  I don't know what the fuck this is, but I certainly don't think it's as good as they're making it seem.  There's absolutely no way the XBone is designed in such a way that you can associate your account with someone else, stating that they're your brother or what have you, and then only one of you has to ever buy one copy of a game ever.  Mostly because it's this exact scenario that this draconian bullshit is meant to do away with.  Things like this, allowing people to experience a game without paying a dime for it, that is literally the only reason for this whole non-used game bullshit, so to say that it's possible leaves me wondering exactly what the catch is.  Normally, I'd say, you know "They have to be signed into your account", but the first part kind of cancels that out...somewhat.  I dunno, maybe you have to initially sign in as you, but then they can sign out or something.  I don't know, but that is just -weird- and goes completely against everything else.  There -has- to be a caveat.

Especially since this is still true.

Xbox One is designed so game publishers can enable you to give your disc-based games to your friends. There are no fees charged as part of these transfers. There are two requirements: you can only give them to people who have been on your friends list for at least 30 days and each game can only be given once.

Minding that the publishers -also- likely have control over this area, which means you will likely -never see it implemented-, this carries the company line....directly away from that last bit.  So you can let up to ten friends and family members play your games with 'no strings attached' but if you want to give a game to them, you can only do it with that -one- friend (they can't give it to anyone else), and they have to have been your friend for a month for it to activate?  In what world is this step necessary when the other thing is so wide open and friendly and such?  Maybe it's just me.  Maybe I'm just not seeing the correlation which makes this good and that bad.  Maybe I'm the only one who thinks they managed to fuck up one single thing in their otherwise clear and concise "Fuck you" letter to everyone.

That's just me, of course.  If you're in a position that the XBone's short-comings will never cause an issue for you, well, more power to you.  If you're -also- in a position where you want to support it regardless of all this, well, I can't stop you.  Unfortunately.  This shit is just damaging and there is a very, very real chance that absolutely no one who matters will care.  Because all of this used game business is -likely- a Microsoft power play since we haven't heard word one of a similar thing from the PS4, yet we knew all about this for the XBone months in advance.  I think I can't say it any better than I did on the Penny Arcade boards.

The way I'm thinking of things, it seems like Microsoft might think this was their way to keep the train going from this generation. Yes, the Wii out-sold them by miles and miles, but to Microsoft, competition was Sony. For a -long- time, they completely out-paced Sony and only here towards the mid-end was Sony actually catching up. Still, things like Sports games, big multiplayer focus games all sell better on the 360 because of whatever reason you could think of - 360 was out first, People really dig XBox Live, etc. etc. But with this new round, they know they're launching around the same time, so the slate is 'clean' and they have to have something to drive it.

So they go, "Games". And how do you get games? By sucking up to Publishers/Developers.

It is entirely possible that this is Microsoft's baby because it is a fucking huge power play. If you set up this system, it's enticing to the Publishers/Developers which brings them around for big exclusives (Respawn's thing) and great partnerships to make your version of a game more enticing (EA's Special Partnership). As many, many, many, many, many companies have proven time and time again, people who have objections about a product because this and that really don't matter in the least so long as that product is shiny enough to make a larger amount of people buy it and not care.

So, really, it is very possible that Sony will come out and win our hearts by saying "Off-line always is totally viable, no DRM", because the way Microsoft figures it, they've already won our wallets if that is the case. Barring big, big backlashes (not a bunch of people being angry on internet forums) that -might actually be the case-, since if you have the publishers, you have the games, and if you have the games, you have the customers.

For all you folks going "Oh, the PS4 is going to be just as bad!", well, there is your scenario that suggests it might not be.  We'll find out for sure at E3, hopefully, but Microsoft is going to be there in force with a load of exclusives that I'm willing to bet aren't -all- from EA.  What Sony shows off as exclusive will likely just be because of good old-fashioned money, which might just be the only card they have in hand.  Sure, maybe we can hope that the XBone won't do so hot, thus informing everyone involved that we don't want this kind of bullshit, but I'm really not expecting very many people to ignore the allure of Halo 5, Respawn's thing and, well, other Halos.  So I'm not really too hopeful for this generation.  But hell, I'll be set with my PS3, Vita and 3DS if nothing else, though I imagine a PS4 will eventually find its way into my collection, since I don't foresee any of this bullshit landing on it.

Fuck's Sake, Microsoft, Stop Double-Talking

So, at this point, do we really know anything that the XBone is going to do other than have a controller, Kinect and play Ryse, Forza and some sports games?  The answer is "No, not really" because just about every damn thing that's been said about the console has either then been taken back or generally muddied up with otherwise conflicting information from sources within Microsoft itself.  The used game thing, the always-online thing, the required Kinect thing, they've all been contradicted in some way or manner and it's all just sending out this awful clusterfuck of a message that is more damaging than any single one of those, on base value, would be.  It's almost like, at this point it's not even a perception, but a reality, that Microsoft just doesn't know what the fuck when it comes to the XBone and that is worrying on just about every single level one could imagine.

The latest thing to add to the pile that is actually a pile, jesus, is the whole Indie's Self-Publishing issue.  Time was, that you could Self-Publish your title through XBox Live Indie Games which was, of course, the red-headed step-child of the Arcade for the last few years and is being phased out for the new 'unified' XBLA Games section that will just be "Games".  So, it's no surprise that they word was that you won't be able to self-publish on the XBone.  I mean, yes, he muddied it up with a lot of "but we're exploring other avenues" and this and that, but the core statement was that going the way of XBLIG is no longer an option which is a big deal since that's actually the way On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness 4 is making it to the 360.  Sure, it's a niche game, but it's probably the last big Indie game that will hit the platform, and could've been used as a spring-board to tout your Indie Channel if you were Microsoft.

So of course, now the statement is "Woah, hey, wait, we're actually totally going to have a program and tools and shit".  Or, more....'eloquently':

“We’re going to have an independent creator program,” Mattrick said. “We’re going to sponsor it. We’re going to give people tools. We’re going to give more information.”

And that's it, more or less.  There's some more fluff in the Kotaku post that Siliconera sourced, but it's basically "Indies are really cool, of course we're going to support them".  Which, at this point, I can only envision 'support' as 'gouge harder than current XBLA titles' because good goddamn, I cannot -not- see it that way.  Really, the way it's been this generation is that if you really want Microsoft's boon of support, you have to keep your title exclusive to XBLA for a year at the very least.  Which isn't too bad, admittedly, but there are all sorts of rules and regulations that we don't know the full extent of that -really- pushed devs away and towards PC and, eventually, PSN.  So if the alternative to 'no self-publishing' is entering one of these potentially pitfall-laden deals with Microsoft through a more incorporated version of XBLIG that kind of misses the point...well, I'm not sure how that's a net positive on the whole thing.

Really, though, that's the problem.  There's absolutely nothing stating that this program, these tools or anything are going to be inherently different than XBLIG, which was basically regarded as "okay" even if the bulk of the titles were Minecraft rip-offs or horribly offensive things.  Or Avatar games.  But with how everything's been lately, it is -impossible- to be objective when hearing yet another piece of conflicting or otherwise negative piece of news about the Xbone.  It's a vicious cycle of negative begetting negative begetting negative and to stand in the center, to try and counter it, is folly.  You're not going to be taken seriously, you're not going to get your point across, it will just not end well.  It's an impossibility at the moment and will likely remain that way until E3.  Perhaps thereafter, depending on their showing.

What Microsoft has done is made the XBone toxic at this point.  The people who actually want to talk about the good points of the system (it -does- have good points) get out-talked (rightfully) by the people who are positing about the inherently terrible aspects of the device, of which there are plenty which is far too many.  One is far too many.  So I'm sure you can see how 'plenty' is not doing it any favors.  Even with a strong E3 showing, saying "Oh, hey, this isn't true, this isn't true, I am 100% serious on this, here is proof" will just have the word be "Not as bad as we thought!" instead of the overwhelmingly positive reaction the console -could- have gotten had they not wobbled it so intensely on every conceivable level.  Of course, the worst thing to come from it could be "It's exactly as bad as we thought and the exclusive games are all Kinect shovelware".  So E3 will be highly interesting regardless.

XBox One - The Fallout

Yes, it's off-center, yes it bugs me

So, Tuesday was the day.  The day when Microsoft threw off the veil of the NeXtBox and dispelled all of the negative rumors that were swirling around it, tarnishing its image before it was even anno-

Oh, right.

That is not what Microsoft did at all.  In fact, it only seemed to confirm a bunch of rumors that were almost laughable to consider as rumors, not to mention the actual, honest truth.  And what it didn't outright confirm is still in a sort of nebulous half-truth-nobody-is-sure space that only Microsoft (and to a degree, Sony and Nintendo) can actually manage to do with this sort of thing.  Perhaps it's inherently tactile, some of this knowledge, but not a whole lot of it.  Certainly not the information that is the most important, which is what I'm going to head this up with - the information about the Anti-Used Game deal.

Much like the Always-Online thing, I don't know what to say about the Anti-Used thing going forward.  I sort of already said how I think they might spin it if they run with it, with the "Incentivised Purchases" or however they'll state it, but it's a hard thing to consider, because it's hard to figure how they won't make it positively Draconian.  Project Ten Dollar, the thing that sort of started Online Passes (for consoles at least) to 'combat the Used Market' is officially being put out to pasture but, being EA, nobody is very interested in thinking that this move is because EA cares.  Which lends credence to the idea that the NeXtBox might have this functionality (so that EA won't have to mandate it themselves) and as a result, EA/Microsoft might be really really tight Next Gen.  Which would, of course, give Microsoft a very nice incentive right there to do it, since it'll likely mean a lot of stuff that is exclusive to the NeXtBox from EA as a whole.  It'd be an unprecedented partnership (ha!) and it would be very, very dangerous for Sony and Nintendo (though not the PC market, since they'll likely get it on Origin anyway).

-Me from This Post, "Let's Speculate About the NeXtBox"

I am going to say that, more or less, I friggin' called how this was going to play out....if not for this particular sentence that finished off that paragraph.

For my part, I'm saying it won't be there, but whether or not that's more hope than thought is up in the air.

Oh, how naive I was.

To be fair, the only part that I was 100% on for sure that we know of at this point is that EA and Microsoft have that 'special partnership' that I speculated about, what with coming out in force to the event today, speaking of and showing off no less than four games, while also stating that something to do with the next FIFA will be Exclusive to The One.  Depending on how this whole cluster-fuck plays out (seriously, 24+ hours later and we still don't have a clear fucking answer because Microsoft doesn't even know), that may very well just be the norm for the generation, since this functionality is built directly into the XBone (that is what we're calling it, btw) and may or may not have been EA's dark bidding if we're buying into conspiracy theories.  Though the curious thing is that a lot of defenders are coming out and saying, "Well if the XBone has it, the PS4 -definitely- has it." and no, it doesn't definitely have it.  Allow me to quote myself.  Again.

Let's all remember something about EA. EA wasn't at the PS4 reveal. EA was at the One reveal in force. So, yes, maybe we can assume that Sony might not actually adopt this Used Game thing. And maybe we can assume Microsoft did it to score a ton of EA exclusives for the entire up-coming generation. Because if you are EA, this is fucking majestic.

-You can still release whatever you want for both the PS4/One.
-People -might- choose the One version of EA Sports Game because of Exclusive stuff, but you're still getting people buying PS4 versions of your games. Namely, everyone who didn't want to buy the One.
-Sweet, sweet Microsoft cash.
-You get to do away with a program that was only causing sustained PR backlash against you and was confusing your customers.

It is Win-Win-Win for EA. Microsoft thinks it's Win-Win for them as well since the Exclusive content might sway some buyers between versions. It still might be.

-From my post on the matter in the Penny Arcade thread for the XBone

It is a ridiculously good coup for EA if this is the scenario that's going forward, which I could really, truly imagine is the case.  Game and Console developers have selective and short-term memory, so they will take the fact that third-party software has sold the best on the 360 this gen and literally make decisions about next gen on -that- piece of information alone.  It's like the Wii U situation, but in reverse, yet it is still a large thing of bet-hedging and it still carries the massive risk for backfire.  So, is it possible that Microsoft went "Hey, EA, we sold a bunch more of your games than the PS3" and EA went "Oh, yeah, you did.  So, hey...let's talk shop" and thus the idea was born.  It is entirely possible that a Microsoft/EA partnership is an attempt to solidify Microsoft's tenuous hold on this generation and to make a foothold in the next that will leave Sony out of the equation entirely.  It is entirely possible that this is going to backfire tremendously!

It occurs to me that I haven't even explained this whole Used Games thing, so I should rightly get to that.  Of course, I will only be explaining the version that Phil Harrison initially stated (I am loathe to source Kotaku, much less Jason Schreier, but everything since is running with the back-peddled statements) because it is the only version of this whole scenario that was coherent and while it was later contradicted by Phil Harrison himself as well as like every single branch of Microsoft's Gaming Division PR, it was only contradicted in opposites ('oh no, this is not the case at -all-') or with vagueness ('we will reveal the actual plan at a later date') and is thus unreliable contradiction even though it casts doubt on the original statement.  You might want to strap in for this one.

So, the example provided is that you go and buy the latest greatest game for your XBone, go home and open it up, eager to play.  You slot the disk and it 'instantly' rips the contents of the disk to the HDD, much like a PC, while also asking you for the code that's located in the case.  This is something we're use to by this point.  Then something else happens, however.  The code authenticates through the internet and that game, and that disk are tied to your XBox Live account.  That means exactly what you think it means - that disk is -yours- now.  Furthering the example, you take that disk to your buddy who also has an XBone and slot it in.  "I want to play it on my account", he says, which is perfectly reasonable since it is his XBone.  The prompt comes up an informs him the game is tied to a different account, but if he would like, he can pay the Full Retail price of the game to have access to it forever.  His friend has essentially become a GameStop delivery-boy, bringing him the disk so that he may spend the dollars in the comfort of his own home, sparing him all of the hassle of the outside world and possibly physical currency.

This is obviously the step put in place to keep you from just installing the game onto your XBone and selling it straight-away.  PC gamers have been used to this for 10+ years.  It is obviously the step EA feared implementing with Project Ten Dollar, as they simply resorted to making your disk worth -less- (rather than worthless, see what I did there) without a slip of paper that hadn't already been used.  Which is pretty much why I'm still suggesting that this is an EA idea through-and-through and that it's attached to the XBone which just so happens to have EA's full backing (whereas the PS4 and especially the Wii U don't) through no coincidence.  People thinking that Sony will reveal similar plans around E3 time are only moderately right to be worried (which basically accounts for paranoia and the thought that anyone, Sony especially, will always screw up given a golden ticket to -not- screw up with).

This is unquestionably the biggest thing that came from the conference, which is hilarious since nothing was actually said about it -during- the conference that went on for-fucking-ever to no avail for people looking to be interested in anything.  In fact, no single thing aside from the name are things that came from the conference itself that are actually being talked about.  Nobody cares about the NFL partnership, especially everyone who doesn't live in North America, nobody cares about TV TV TV TV TV TV TV TV, especially everyone who doesn't live in North America, and the games they showed off were not only expected, but wholly underwhelming in terms of number shown.  Because the number (EA not counted because, again, SPORTS) was three.  Two of them exclusive - Forza and Quantum Break - with the third one being Call of Duty:  Ghosts which was announced, what, a month ahead of time?

It's an unfair truth that people care more about negativity than positivity, but it's a truth nonetheless and you are always in a constant need to overcome that when you're announcing anything.  Microsoft didn't consider this at all, or, worse, they honestly thought being able to play Fantasy Football on your XBone while integrated with NFL '14 would be exciting enough to pull away from some of the other things they decided to speak on after-the-fact.  That being able to use a TV Guide through Kinect would make up for the used games thing.  That a Halo TV series directed by Spielberg was going to assuage the fact that it has to check-in once every 24 hours so you can use it.  That the new-and-improved (supposedly) controller with a better D-Pad would make up for....like everything else because I cannot glean any other single good point from the whole of it, manufactured by them or not.

The unfortunate reality to it is that Microsoft simply did not pull off a good presser on any level and anyone who doesn't have the utmost confidence and faith in Microsoft's ability to put out a 'good' product (subjective use, of course) can see that.  This isn't a 'fanboy' thing even though it's very obvious that I have a very Sony slant and openly admit that.  There simply wasn't enough in the presser (hell, even in the after-talks where a couple nice things actually were mentioned, like Ryse being confirmed as a game exclusive to the XBone and the friend limit getting increased to 1,000, which is actually kind of staggering) to make it entertaining for anyone.  Gamers, tech-heads, sports fans, none of them.  I'm well aware that there are the defenders of it out there and I'm not even saying they're wrong - they're just excited for the system and more power to them for that - I just don't understand it, even on an objective level.

I can't even say "We'll just have to look forward to E3 and see how they fix it" because I don't see how any of this can be fixed unless the actual system is completely changed - which would be a worrying idea this close to launch anyway.  Their showing at E3 will certainly be interesting however, and while I'm sure at least one of their exclusive games will be a big deal (I hope, at least), I don't rightly think they can pull out anything, anything that will be holy-shit-big-enough to do anything to really improve themselves in the public eye.  Still, I think it's, hilariously, going to be less about the games and more about the damage control that will keep things from getting too catastrophic for them.  Yet, I'm just curious if they'll manage to say and promise the right combination of things (and mean them) to get back to the level where their machine actually makes sense.

really, the 24-hour check-in is the most offensive thing to me personally at this point, but the rest is still bullshit

Follow-Up on the Adam Orth Thing

Deal with it, indeed.

Since yesterday, no less than twenty individual gaming news sources took the whole "I don't get the drama over Always-On consoles" story and ran with it in a big way.  Adam's twitter has been completely locked down after brief, lack-luster apologies were handed out by Orth himself and Manveer in what is, at best, the worst attempt at damage control that I've seen in a loooong time.  Because while one could theoretically buy that Orth and Manveer were trolling each other playfully about something silly, that doesn't exactly explain the -other- comments he made to -other- people.  Such as telling one person who lamented that he knew people who lived in areas that have no access to "get with the times and get the internet" because "it's awesome".  And, in response to someone stating that it should be up to the user to determine how they use the product they purchased, he flippantly stated that "Sure, if someone wants to make a smoothie with a chainsaw, that's their right".

However, this was never about Adam Orth, even though he was the one who instigated it and said incredibly dumb things.  The only way that it -was- about him was because he is, presumably in a position to know just what is going on with the NeXtBox that we currently have nothing to go on besides rumors and speculation.  Rumors and speculation that are all pointing at the exact same thing.  Rumors and speculation that are only bolstered when someone who knows what the hell starts saying "Always On" consoles aren't a bad thing.  This seems to be the point where people are losing the plot because their argument is just basically "Some guy said something".  Well yeah, that is kind of the deal, but that is detracting from the context and completely ignoring that what he is saying is lining up perfectly with what internet rumors have been saying.  The internet has a pretty damn good track record with this shit lately, telling us shit we wouldn't know or think about any other way.

Who could have predicted the DualShock 4 would have a friggin' touchpad on it?  Yet we knew because internet rumors and speculation said it and it was proven correct.  Hell, who could have thought that the Vita was going to have a rear touchpad?  People argued up and down, left and right that no, no, no, absolutely not, that wasn't going to happen, right up until it happened.  The Nintendo Network.  The Wii U's Tablet Controller.  The hardware specs of the PS4.  The streaming solution to backwards compatibility for the PS4.  The "Share" button and highly-integrated social features of the PS4.  All of this was just 'rumor and speculation' right up until guess what, shit is confirmed, so why do we have any reason to distrust anything that has as much press as the goddamn "Always-Online Durango" rumors?  Pure and simple - we don't.  The last time the internet was 'wrong' on something big was the whole Final Fantasy Versus XIII thing and to be fair?  Fucking game still isn't out, nor is there any official -anything- out there for it that is in any shape or form 'new'.

Microsoft's official response isn't really helping matters, either:

"We apologize for the inappropriate comments made by an employee on Twitter yesterday. This person is not a spokesperson for Microsoft, and his personal views do not reflect the customer centric approach we take to our products or how we would communicate directly with our loyal consumers.  We are very sorry if this offended anyone, however we have not made any announcements about our product roadmap, and have no further comment on this matter."

We get it.  Microsoft doesn't comment on rumors and speculation.  Does this mean that Adam Orth just let something big slip and whoops, NeXtBox is definitely going to be Always Online?  No.  Is it helping?

Hell no.

Basically, we're not going to 'know' anything until we know 'everything', which will be whenever Microsoft decides to officially unveil the thing.  In the meanwhile, people will go on continuing to believe that the NeXtBox is going to be Always-Online and start planning their PS4 purchases.  In the meanwhile, it's going to completely gnaw away at any platform that Microsoft might actually -have- to unveil the NeXtBox.  By the time it's announced, it's going to be less "Holy shit the NeXtBox" but rather a checklist of what the internet actually got right about it.  I have no doubt in my mind that, at this point in time, the device is going to be Always-Online.  Might that change between now and the unveiling?  Absolutely.  So where we're at is that the thing is going to be announced one way or the other and people will either say "Well, there's that, totally buying a PS4/Wii U now" or "Oh, so I guess they changed it.  Well, I still don't know, I'm pretty hyped on the PS4/Wii U now".  Basically, Microsoft's stubbornness is hobbling them right out of the starting gate which is interesting, since that's usually Nintendo's job.

Yeah.  I went there.

okay I'm mostly joshing about the Nintendo slam at the end there but come on

Welp, NeXtBox Is Gonna Be Dumb

wait, I actually have to type stuff after that?

So, uh, meet Adam Orth, Creative Director of Microsoft Studios.  Some guy who is going to get very, very popular over the next day or so.

In what is either something that is rather telling or the worst timing ever, Orth decided it was a good idea to try to speak out Always On things on the same day that Kotaku ran yet another rumor about the NeXtBox requiring a constant internet connection to function.  Seeing as this is like, the tenth rumor in months from different sources (even if you discount Kotaku at face value which, to be fair, most of us do), it's a bit worrying without Orth's involvement.

When you then have Orth on the same exact day, near the same time, stating things like "I want every device to be Always On", arguing common complaints with terrible analogies and generally being a condescending prick as you see above, it's...well...kind of disconcerting.  To say the least.  Of course, I'm not explicitly saying the NeXtBox is going to have an Always On requirement, it's just that, at this point, it's more believable that the NeXtBox is going to be shaped like a Chibi Girl to attract more Japanese Marketshare than that it won't have an Always On requirement.  Because there is just a mountain of evidence at this point that points to it being a reality and, well....to be fair, when has the internet been -wrong- about something like this lately?  Nailed the PS4 specs before it was announced, nailed when and how it was going to be announced, and has given us the skinny on plenty of other things that seemed less-than-feasible.

Like a lot of people, this is going to be a make-it-or-break-it thing for me.  I don't necessarily worry that my internet -isn't- stable since it's up more than it's not these days (hope I didn't just jinx it), but I -have- had plenty of issues with it in the past.  Some issues that lasted nights in a row with which I took to my PS3 or PSP or Vita to assuage my fury.  To imagine that my gaming could be impeded by an outage that is already taking away a lot of my social ability and other means of entertainment (Youtube, mostly) is pretty much doubly infuriating which is exactly I won't be buying into it.  There's still time before this thing is announced that they can change it up, but at this point, I'm not hopeful.  Hell, even if it -is- announced as something that you can play offline, I'm going to be skeptical, because in my mind, it's something that was built to be played online all the time.  It'll be interesting to see how it plays out either way, I suppose.