Wow, That Got Big

Tomodachi Life is a game that Nintendo announced not too long ago that is...well, more than a little hard to explain.  It gets even harder if you actually watch the video included above, but it also elucidates that difficulty that I bear.

Put simply, Tomodachi Life is a Life Sim that uses your Miis (well, you have to make them in the game, it doesn't just pull them, I don't think) to create the living, breathing element that "Life Sim" implies.  It's like The Sims with full Automation, because your Miis will live out their own life without needing you to tell them to brush their teeth or go to sleep.  Instead, important things (or, you know, less so) will be asked to you for your input every now and again.  Along the way, a ton of zany shit happens.  If that wasn't obvious already.  Basically, it is in every way a light-hearted, whimsical game that means only to entertain.

Which is why it's a little odd that it was found dead-center of a rather extreme and heated debate about really important issues.

A rather large part of Tomodachi Life, being a Life Sim, is the ability for your Miis to marry one another.  Like The Sims, this will usually lead to having a child, and in Tomodachi Life, this child can hop around from your version of the game to others over Street or Spotpass, I believe.  However, it quickly surfaced that this was only possible with heterosexual couples and, indeed, such a coupling was the only one possible in the game itself.  Fans took to Twitter to ask Nintendo of America to add Homosexual coupling to the game for the Western Release and the whole thing could have just ended there.  It really did not have to snowball to just where it ended up, but, well...

"Nintendo never intended to make any form of social commentary with the launch of Tomodachi Life," a Nintendo of America representative said in a statement to the Associated Press. "The relationship options in the game represent a playful alternate world rather than a real-life simulation. We hope that all of our fans will see that Tomodachi Life was intended to be a whimsical and quirky game, and that we were absolutely not trying to provide social commentary."

-Nintendo of America's 1st Response to the Situation

I want to know just what part of that they thought was a good idea.  Like, on a basic, simple level, how does "Can you add homosexual orientations to the game?" elicit a response that is basically, "Woah, hey wait, we're just trying to localize a fun game here, we don't need to muddy it up with shit" and someone went "Yeah, that works."?  That's just poor decision making, pure and simple.  It is clearly not the right way to handle the situation, and it's a little disappointing that it went down that way.

I would like to sidebar here for a moment and say that, on the whole, I'm not really a fan of Internet Activism.  The goals are generally, inherently noble, yes, but the methods and the execution of being heard is usually not.  Nor is it usually pleasant.  More often than not, the common person walks away from the entire experience with a -negative- opinion on the whole of it because it all devolves into a shouting match between people on their respective high horses.  Harken back to the Dragon's Crown debacle, where a simple argument over some admittedly eyebrow-raising sections turned into "THE GAME PROMOTES RAPE CULTURE" versus "IT'S FUCKING ART" and neither side was willing to budge because the sides were simply too extreme from one another, destroying any and all middle ground that could've been discovered.  It became a cesspool, to be frank.

The sad thing is that the argument resumed by Tomodachi Life is far bigger than the game and honestly didn't need to be as laser-focused on it as it was.  I blame the majority of that on NoA's original, stupid response.  A lot of the things that the Internet Activists get bent out of shape about are fairly malleable, adhering to a certain set of standards that, while not 'mandatory' to have, many people do have anyway.  Things are in a grey area, I should say, whether it be a real one or an argumentative one.  The issue of homosexual relationships in games where -you- as a person are supposed to be represented by your avatar?  That's easy.  That's binary.  If you are gay, your character should be able to be gay.  Full stop.  Just like if you're a particular race, your character should be able to be that particular race.  It is meant to be -you-, so allow the tools and the options for that to be possible.  It's not a matter of "every game has to have 'the gay character'" or silly bullshit like that (which is actually counterproductive), but just a matter of ensuring you can play you when the developer wants you to play you.

That said, it was never Nintendo of America's battle to be fought, and had their second statement been their first, it would've been that much more obvious and simple.

"Unfortunately, it is not possible for us to change this game's design, and such a significant development change can't be accomplished with a post-ship patch," the statement continues. "We are committed to advancing our longtime company values of fun and entertainment for everyone. We pledge that if we create a next installment in the Tomodachi series, we will strive to design a game-play experience from the ground up that is more inclusive, and better represents all players."

-Nintendo of America's 2nd Response to the Situation

NoA is simply localizing the game.  They're the ones translating the text and making sure the game plays nice with the different versions of the hardware that are in our region.  They don't have authority or the ability to change entire swaths of the actual game itself and that was obvious from the start.  Tomodachi Life was going to release as-is, and that's not some sort of crime against humanity.  It was never really about Tomodachi Life itself, but rather the larger issue present.  If they would have just said it was out of their hands from the start, people (the sane ones, anyway) would have shrugged and either said "That's reasonable, we'll just see next time, I guess" or went "That's reasonable, let's ask Nintendo of Japan about it instead, since they made the game." and it would have just went from there.  Cooler heads would have (likely) prevailed and we would all be the better for it.  Instead, we have the things being said in the comments section of those posts linked in this one and -yes- you should always ignore the comments section as a rule, but good god there is some extraordinary bullshit in there.

Some seem to think that the last part of that second statement, the "if we create a next installment in the Tomodachi series" line is a thinly-veiled threat to the tune of no more Tomodachi games being localized.  That is then being levied at anyone who dare say anything about the gay issue as ammunition for a take on the "This is why we can't have nice things" guilt trip.  If that's the case, then, well, so be it.  We have evolved beyond the point where a glaring oversight over something as binary as orientation is 'alright', and it's hard to say whether or not the next game will see a change in that, given that Nintendo is not exactly widely celebrated for flexibility.  Not to mention Japan's views and policies regarding same-sex marriage, which aren't nearly as open as America's are becoming.

None of this is an actual condemnation of the game or Nintendo, really.  A lot of it is just issues regarding circumstance and of an issue that isn't actually directly related to Tomodachi Life beyond the solitary obvious reason that was likely not done out of malice or pettiness.  As such, with it more or less 'resolved', you should certainly pick up the game if it looks to be something that you would enjoy.  I myself am on the fence about it because, while I love quirky, weird shit (as we have established) I'm not too sure on Tomodachi's staying power beyond the initial "oh wow this is sooooo crazy" parts.  When everything is random and silly, it just becomes routine and when that charm is gone, it has to stand on its own mechanics and I'm just not sure -what- mechanics are really present.  Perhaps I'll grab it at some point, however, to find out!

okay, this post was entirely too serious for a game where you can RPG battle a fucking hamburger

Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire Remakes Announced, Water is Wet

Well, nobody saw this coming.

It was inevitable; Pokémon remakes are the kind of things you can just expect now, except that they've kind of ran on it a little fast because unless they release a 3DS successor in the next couple years (they better not) we'll see a Diamond/Pearl remake on 3DS or they'll just wait until the next handheld iteration.  Which will probably be a while away still.  Hopefully.  And then they'll have to wait a couple years later for an Black/White redo, which is really weird to think about right now, with Black/White (and their sequels) so fresh in the mind.

My point on this is more or less exactly where it was: This is not a bad thing, but Ruby/Sapphire was a bad Gen.

Instead of retreating that, I suppose I should talk about -other stuff- involved in it.  Everything is speculation, since Nintendo only saw fit to announce it with nothing accompanying it because that's great.  The idea is obvious that it'll be done in X/Y's visual style which will be nice, especially if they really trick out the perspectives again.  It'd definitely help give Hoenn a bit of a new feel and edge which it could do well with.  Not that the Hoenn region was bad, but a visual overhaul could -only- end well for it, is what I'm saying.  Which I guess is a backhanded compliment in a sense but oh well.

What's unfortunate about the speculation is that Nintendo unintentionally (I would imagine) added a lot of fuel to the fire with the scant couple sentences they decided to add to the reveal.  If there's anything I think of when a remake is announced, the phrases "An Epic New Adventure is Coming!" and "Explore a Dramatic New World!" are, you know, not....among them.  It seems unnecessary, but there are three potential reasons for it.

1. Mistranslation.  This one seems the least likely.  Nintendo is pretty good about localizing things, so imagining that the phrases should've been something that excludes "New" and instead goes for "Reimagined" and "Dramatically Altered World" or something of that nature seems like something that wouldn't have happened.
2. Misdirection.  "Well, it's a new adventure to someone!  And with the new camera angles, it's like a whole new world!"  Yeah, no.
3. New Content.  This one is probably it, honestly.  Fire Red and Leaf Green offered quite a lot of new content for the post-game, and they might be going that route with Ruby/Sapphire.  If they offer a new arc post-game of that sort (which would then alter the Elite Four as it did in FR/LG) then that would definitely be an Epic 'New' Adventure in a "Dramatic New" World.

Seeing some new post-game content to Ruby/Sapphire's remakes would be very nice, as Pokémon games in general have been lacking in Post-game for some time now.  Why that is, it's hard to tell, since that seems like the easiest thing to think about, but offering three or four towns of absolutely no consequence with nothing to do in them but serve as stopping points between catching new pokémon that are only held back for 'reasons' (as was the case with Black/White) does not a post-game make.  Of course, that's all poison in the well thanks to Gold/Silver which had the most robust area of post-game content by far, which has been the exception and not the standard.  That said, the wording means that it still won't be as rich as a full return to a former region, as the former regions are not 'New' for the same reasons that an improved Hoenn is not 'New'.  Hoping for something of bulk and substance, however, is about all I have.

I don't like myself for it, but I will be getting one of these games.  I -generally- get the first one of the pair, thus Omega Ruby, but....well, I just really like blue, so I might be grabbing Alpha Sapphire.  Either way, I'll be getting my Pokémon on again this November provided I don't have any other gaming to do.  Because I just might.  Okay, I definitely will and it'll be on my Vita.  But I can make Pokémon time.

hopefully the extra content entails tracking down Team Magma and Team Aqua and murdering them...in a Pokémon battle

Watch Dogs Probably Still Coming to the Wii U

Back when Watch Dogs was announced, few people were really proclaiming that "the writing is on the wall" or anything of the sort for the Wii U, and the fact that the game was announced to be on the Wii U was less a surprise and more expected.  Especially being an Ubisoft game, which has been one of the few staunch supporters of the system (even if that support is waning a bit), it just seemed an inevitability.  As the Wii U has begun to flounder, support has tapered off, but at least users more or less always had Watch Dogs to look forward to.  A proper new IP with a spin that promised to make the Gamepad invaluable if used correctly with a hardcore draw that, had it released when it was supposed to, might've drawn in quite a bit of business.  As such, it's not going to do that, and its existence was even in question for but the briefest of moments.

What has now been blamed on a 'glitch' was a strange occurrence that disallowed GameStops in Italy (and other regions, including America) to pre-order the Wii U version of Watch Dogs.  That's a problem!  Generally such a thing is a precursor to an unspecified delay (another one would kill the game anyway, and it would've hit the other platforms at least) or an outright cancellation, with pre-order cancellations going out shortly thereafter.  It didn't get to that point, but given the Wii U's standing and Ubisoft's now-shaky faith in the system, many were almost assured that it was a foregone conclusion.  Especially when Ubisoft went the weird route (considering how this all resolved) and dropped the classic "We have nothing to report at this time" instead of just going "Nah, it's still coming out, I don't know what's up."  I suppose it's called the company line because it's the line the company wants you to use all the time, but still, there has to be -some- exceptions.

As of now, it's more or less gone back to the situation as it was before - the Wii U version is still expected, but we're still at a lack of general information for the game itself.  It still doesn't have a release date after the delay it was subjected to, meaning we have no idea just what's going on with it.  And more criminally, we're still not sure just how much of the focus will be on the cool hacking stuff it was premised on, and how much will be bang bang, shoot mans like a good portion of sandbox games out there.  Watch Dogs is at a critical phase where enough time has passed that the initial hype is well and truly gone, and the follow-up pieces have been....lack-luster so far.  It needs -something-, some kind of showing or boon that'll place it front and center again with positive public image, but it's hard to tell if that'll happen.  Or rather, I doubt it will because Ubisoft gonna Ubisoft.

seriously, I just want it to be good, but I have no idea if it even will be anymore

What Do I Want to See in 2014?

This is still another kind of hold-over post while I'm still on the mend, but rather than piddling around with words, I figured it would be best to actually bring a topic with me.  One that's actually topical makes it all the better, as we're at the start of the year and we always like doing the "what will happen this year" game because people like predicting things because if they're right, they get to bring it up over and over again.  Not that I know a whole lot about being right at predictions, of course.  Though this will overall be less "predictions" and more "hopes" which should be easy to pick up from the title.  What Do I -Want- to See, is far, far different from what I expect to see, though I will probably offer some odds of it happening regardless at some point in the future.  Since I'm kind of a masochist like that, I guess.

Obviously, the first thing I'm going to go for here is the Vita because you all know me well enough.  Also the giant Vita picture above probably helped matters as well.  There are actually a few things that I want for the Vita, but primarily among them all is obvious:  Support.  The Vita got a lot of great games in 2013 - there are those that will deny it, but it's true - but the thing that allows the rhetoric is that not -enough- people are putting games on the Vita.  Or rather, not enough people that have some weight behind their names.  Which isn't to say that the massive amounts of Indie Support isn't a good thing, it's just not going to sway a lot of 'popular' opinion until you have something running on the thing from Capcom, Konami or Squeenix with a recognizable name like Resident Evil or Monster Hunter, Metal Gear Solid or Final Fantasy.  There's other names and titles, of course and you know that, but you get the gist of where I'm coming from.

So really, in 2014, I would like to start seeing that happen.  There were rumors of another Assassin's Creed portable in something called "Rising Phoenix" that never came to pass, but it's still very possible.  Ubisoft is interested in doing dual-releases now of Assassin's Creed because one a year is simply not enough, so if they were to announce Rising Phoenix a la Liberation this year, they could port it to consoles next year (which I'm not excited about the notion proliferating the design, but Ubisoft gonna Ubisoft) that would -help-.  There's technically -a- Monster Hunter coming to Vita already, but it's not a big one as far as I know, so that's always a thing that can be pulled out.  Resident Evil is probably out, unfortunately, but I have no idea what Capcom is planning with the series anymore and Metal Gear Solid is fairly clogged as is, so all we can imagine is Remote Playing Ground Zeroes really.  But Final Fantasy...

That's always been a thorny bit considering Final Fantasy Type-0 and its storied history with westerners.  It was released far too late into the PSP's life on the PSP which was not doing so hot outside of Japan and yet it was a big-name-game from a big-name-company, and big-name-games from big-name-companies always ended up localized.  Except Type-0 never did.  Still hasn't.  And the reason why is fairly evident - it's a PSP game.  Yes, we have digital games on the Vita and a lot of companies have gone that route and some are still going that route (bless XSEED and Aksys, for they are doing God's work) but one can assume that it's probably not going to do as much sales as a Physical/Digital release would do.  And since you can't release a physical PSP game for a Vita and printing UMDs is a thing of the past....well, people have more or less given up on a PSP version of Type-0.  However, there has always been hope of a Vita version at the very least.

There was a campaign towards the middle of 2013 (I think, at least) called simply #jrpgvita, which was a hashtag that spread across Twitter as a way to try and speak to Sony.  Or, rather, to Shahid Ahmad, who is part of Playstation's Strategic Content division.  He spoke out on the matter, promising to do what they could for #jrpgvita as a whole, and has already made great strides towards making at least one of the titles involved in that a thing.  There's hope that it is Final Fantasy Type-0 in some fashion.  Of course, there's hope that it's Valkyria Chronicles 3 in some fashion as well.  As well as numerous other things.  What we -can- be assured of is that whatever the game is, it's not an indie game, nor a port (which isn't a bad thing or a good thing at its core, but we need -names- as stated) and it's coming.  So whatever it is, it's going to help the cause immensely, I'm sure of that much.

My other big gaming hope is actually that Nintendo makes strides in pulling the Wii U around.  For as much as I more or less dislike the 3DS and its success, I feel like the Wii U could really -be- something and it's troubling that it's not working out for Nintendo.  However, the reason is fairly obvious as to why it's not, and it's a fault that lies with Nintendo solely - not third-parties or anyone else.  Nintendo has, up to this point, truly failed at making the Wii U attractive, because they're not really thinking about it and are instead adopting the same strategy for the Wii and the DS and the 3DS, of which has only succeeded in spite of itself on those platforms.  That strategy being 'trot out the same characters and ideas all over again in slightly new window dressings' a la Super Mario 3D World, Mario Kart 8 and even Nintendo Land to some degree just to name a few.  It's not going to work, even with the release of the newest Smash Bros. and the next Zelda.  (Not Hyrule Warriors which might be fantastic)

I've said it before that Nintendo needs new IPs and I will continue to friggin' say it to anyone who will listen.  And if they're the ones who go, "But what about Pushmo and Dillon's Rolling Western an-" I will bat them on the goddamn nose with a newspaper.  You know that's not what I mean.  -I- sure as hell know it.  Everyone knows it.  Because those aren't new IPs, they're one-offs.  "But Pushmo got a seq-" shut up.  Xenoblade.  That's what we're talking about.  That's a new IP created and meant to be sustained and brought to higher things and that's what I mean.  They need to do that more.  Bonus points for it being something that actually uses the Wii U Gamepad since they've gone above and beyond their own means to ignore that so far as well.  So, last minute thing, I'm hoping someone uses that well as well.  Because that thing can be really cool, it just needs a little faith.

There's probably other things that I could be hoping for, but really, that's...that's probably enough to last all year.  "In the year where the big new consoles are going to dominate, I want the little guys to succeed", oh yeah, that's totally gonna happen.  Still, it's nice to hope and have dreams.

Nintendo, I have an idea about a Sorcerer and a spellbook that I can sell you if you need it

Ahahahahahahahaha

This...this is just too much.

Maybe it's because I'm neck-deep in Dynasty Warriors 8, or maybe it's just because I never thought something like this would happen because the last time something like this was pitched, it was turned down.  Maybe it's just because that last piece could truly mean this is Panic Mode Nintendo doing whatever the hell they can to try and spur sales.  Or maybe it's just because they picked honestly one of their least ideal franchises to add the Warriors treatment to.  I don't know what it is, but whatever it is, it just makes me laugh when I try to wrap my head around it.

There's practically no information on the game - even the logo hasn't been created, nor is "Hyrule Warriors" necessarily the final name of the product.  So there's really not even that much for me to talk about beyond speculation.  As far as speculation goes, well, I'm not really sure what to think.  Being a Dynasty Warriors game means having access to -everyone- who is a unique character (and potentially even some who aren't), but being a Nintendo game means not...usually getting to be the bad guy.  So Ganondorf might seem like a lock for the actual game, but I'm wary on saying he'll be playable.  He should be, by all means, but I'm not sure.  I can't imagine them saying "Oh, here's a Dynasty Warriors game where you only play Link" and being able to keep a straight face, but I also don't know quite how many characters they can scrounge up.  Malon?  Zelda?  Shiek?  ....Tingle?  Perhaps the different -kinds- of Link over the years with different attacks based on the game, but even that's a bit boring.

It'll be interesting to find out about as it gets further along in development, as that trailer was clearly not from finished product footage.  Beta at the -latest-, though I'm willing to bet it's still pre-beta.  I guess if I'm taking a guess as to a release time, I'll say....Summer?  Seems long enough to finish it up and put it out the door, depending on the amount of work involved, but what do I know?  I can't see it taking til next Holiday season if it's meant to be a stop-gap between now and the next -actual- Zelda game, but it's clearly not ready yet either, so it's a hard guess.  Still, Summer is what I'm going with.  Who knows, maybe I'll have bought a Wii U by then!  Probably not, but I think this pretty much confirms a purchase in the future unless it just looks -really- bad somehow.  I...don't see that happening.

the only real worse candidates that I could think of were Star Fox and Metroid - can you imagine the dumb?

3DS Finally Set to Catch-Up in December

Way back when the Nintendo Wii U was being discussed in terms of Online Functionality and the like, a couple things were made of note for the future.  Those were, specifically: the Nintendo Network which was Nintendo's apparent attempt to bring their console into the future present-day 2010 with an account system rather than the Friend Code system that was pre-historic when it was new, and Miiverse which I only -tonight- figured out what it was, thanks to even more research than I'd done previously.  Which was more than a cursory glance.  They were things to make note of because not only were they Nintendo's main forays into a connected ecosystem, but they were guaranteed from the start to -not- be Wii U exclusives.  Not only mentioned for 'future Nintendo consoles', but teased for the 3DS as well as integration through web browsers and mobile devices.

It was announced that those additions are finally being made to the 3DS in December when the Nintendo Network and Miiverse come to the 3DS proper.  The Network is pretty self-explanatory, but Miiverse is a different beast entirely.  At first, I was under the impression that Miiverse was the WaraWara Plaza that you see whenever you boot up your Wii U, which would be really neat on the 3DS, but that's not it.  Miiverse is, for all intents and purposes, an Activity Feed that goes a little above and beyond.  Games, so long as they're programmed to do so, can display choice Miiverse posts not only between people, but during specific times during a game.  The video example shows 'helpful hints' from others popping out after repeated deaths and also little notes for every level on Super Mario whatever.  It's meant to be ubiquitous instead of something that you just have to 'check', and I admit it sounds cool....but none of the game already out will be patched to support it, I'm sure, so it's nothing to get excited for now I don't think.

The sudden killing of Swapnote also makes a little more sense as Miiverse has individual tabs for specific games and whatnot, which can be used for 'official word' from developers and whatnot instead of sending out notes through SpotPass.  I mean, sure there were child predators using it and succeeding in Japan, but that's like shutting down Skype for doing the same thing because you know it happens.  Still, Miiverse is not going to fill the same niche as Swapnote, especially since I don't think you can make private posts to one person in particular(?), but no one can be choosey on the Nintendo front unfortunately.  It is neat, however, to see that the Nintendo Network is coming to the 3DS officially and it'll be 'unified' with the Wii U (purchases and whatnot are still tied to the consoles, but Friend Codes will be dead, dead, dead so baby steps) since it means I can finally set up a NNID for whenever I end up picking up a Wii U on the cheap.  Since I'll want one for the Wii games at least, if not the allure of playing some N64 games on what amounts to a handheld device.  Since...that's going to happen eventually?  Right?

I mean, I hope so, because I would love to play some Ogre Battle 64 on that nice little tablet

Swapnote is Effectively Dead

Swapnote, also known as one of the few genuinely interesting things about the 3DS has more or less been cut off at the legs and left to crawl for the immediate and indefinite future.  While Swapnote is not going away completely, the main component of it, the SpotPass sending feature has been indefinitely suspended, meaning the only way you can get notes from anyone, including official notes from Nintendo and affiliates...is through StreetPass sending.  Also known as that fucking thing that never happens ever.  The difference between SpotPass and StreetPass is that SpotPass uses the internet and StreetPass uses the little range of Nintendo wireless that goes out from the device, and is usually just picked up by other 3DS systems while you're out and about except it never really works that way because I guess not enough people are carrying around 3DS systems with this feature enabled.

So, the long and short of it becomes - sending Swapnotes through the internet to your friends is feasible, whereas sending Swapnotes to people around you is not...because you both have to Friend Code one another and if you're close enough to one another that you can send Swapnotes with StreetPass, you can do fucking everything else.  Granted there are some uses, I suppose, mostly the types that make you go "D'aww", like setting a Note with a sweet message to your significant other to send during their work day, but otherwise the uses are limited and made even moreso by redundancy. All of this is rather hilarious when you discover the reason, however.

The following message was sent out through official Nintendo bulletins, the official Nintendo website and has basically been copy-pasted at every news site covering this story, so it's fairly easy to find.  Still:

Thank you for your support.

Nintendo has learned that some consumers, including minors, have been exchanging their friend codes on Internet bulletin boards and then using Swapnote (known as Nintendo Letter Box in other regions) to exchange offensive material. Nintendo has been investigating ways of preventing this and determined it is best to stop the SpotPass feature of Swapnote because it allows direct exchange of photos and was actively misused.

Nintendo always wants to provide a positive experience for all consumers and limit the risk of any inappropriate activity or misuse of a service. We feel it is important on this occasion to take this action.

We are very sorry for any inconvenience to the many consumers who have been using this service responsibly; however this decision was made considering the point that many minors also use this feature of Swapnote. Thank you for your understanding.

Nintendo will continue to work to ensure more consumers are aware of our Parental Control features, which allow parents to manage their children’s experience on our systems. For more information, please click here.

• Service stop date: Thursday, Oct. 31, 2013, 7 p.m. PT
• Service being stopped: Nintendo 3DS software Swapnote – Sending and receiving notes using SpotPass
• Affected regions: All regions where the service was offered

Special Notes services are also stopped

So, in all reality, it's another case of Nintendo bending over backwards to ensure that they're being over-the-top cloyingly kid-friendly which is exactly what makes the masses at large scoff at them.  However, you can't really be mad at Nintendo for trying to protect the children - we shouldn't be trying to -not- protect them, after all - but there are varying levels of response, and Nintendo's Madagascarian approach is...less than understandable.  Especially since it was blatantly obvious from Day One that Swapnote was going to be 'misused' in the way they're suggesting.  Not only are you able to draw and write anything because there's a complete lack of filters, given that they are 'private' messages (no pun intended) meaning no peer review, but you can eventually unlock the ability to attach pictures taken with your 3DS cameras or the odd game that supports screenshots (like Animal Crossing: New Leaf).  A 3D camera, that is, on a device that supports 3D images.  Who didn't see the inevitability of lewd pictures being sent around to take advantage of that feature?

Apparently Nintendo.  What makes a further mockery of the situation is Nintendo's own basic admission that the Friend Code system that we've had to suffer with for -years- for the safety of the children has utterly failed.  The Friend Code system was basically built as its own fail-safe - kids aren't smart enough to figure out ways to exchange codes with anyone but those they 'should' be exchanging with, and thus effectively shuts them out from the folks nobody wants kids associating with.  This assumes, however, that kids are incapable of using the internet at an even rudimentary level and that they are also not allowed to do so without impunity.  Such assumptions are incorrect to make, and we have been saying this for -years- in argument against the Friend Code system since it does not actually protect people so much as it inconveniences them.

Regardless, it's strange that Nintendo pulled the plug on everything SpotPass-related to Swapnote, including the special notes that developers could send out to get you hyped in the latest game, as well as Nikki's notes that informed you of certain things regarding Nintendo News or what have you.  At that point it becomes less "We're saving the children!" and more "We're cutting costs, fuck you", or at least that's where my mind went first.  Still, Nintendo gonna Nintendo, I suppose and while it would have just made more sense to kill the photo-sharing aspect of Swapnote (besides Developer access for screenshots), I imagine the cost aspect -does- come into play a bit, which is why the entire thing was killed in every way that makes it worthwhile.  And I don't see it coming back either, which is unfortunate, since it was fun drawing off little notes and sending them off, even if I didn't make much use of it.  So, goodbye Swapnote, you were fun while it lasted.

I'm a little annoyed that I spent play coins on stationary now, though

Wait, Wait, Pikachu is a -What-?

Pikachu facial capture.  I...I don't...

A Detective. A Fucking Detective.

I just don't even know anymore.

I mean, I say that a lot, and I get dramatic sometimes for comedy's sake, but I am well and truly baffled by this.  Essentially, the Pokemon Company has been working on a "Top Secret" game for a little while and just chose to reveal the details for the first time yesterday.  The game is going to be for the 3DS and won't see release for a while - they've suggested that they're shooting to release two years from now - and will be, as stated, a detective game where you and your intrepid partner Pikachu try to solve mysteries and do all those detective-y things.  You might say "Ohhhh, so it's basically just one of those Pikachu games and he'll just be kind of an annoying sidekick" and no, you are actually incorrect apparently.  Pikachu will be cognizant of his own thoughts and ideas and he'll actually be able to communicate them through speech.  That's right, Pikachu is going to talk to you, and do so using proper language.

That's part of why the Pokemon Company felt the game was so experimental and 'dangerous' because making Pikachu talk is a -big deal- to them.  The little yellow mouse is the mascot still, after all, and likely will never relinquish that role so the branding more or less lives and breathes on his image.  So to put him in this kind of game which honestly won't be pandering to the younger crowd - at least one can surmise as much, given that Pikachu will be saying some 'adult'-ish things (commenting on pretty ladies, suggesting a situation is going to be fairly violent) - is a big risk.  One that Nintendo is clearly hoping will pay off later on and, let's face it, it probably will.  It does, however, leave me just one question about the whole thing as it stands.

Why?

Why is Pikachu in this game?  Why is Pikachu essentially a functioning adult character stand-in?  Why did they announce this game -now- if it won't be ready for two years?  Are they fucking Squeenix now?  Why did they make yet another drastic genre-shattering game with an existing IP?  Why did they not just make a new IP for fuck's sake?

New Nintendo IPs are a rare breed indeed, at least when it comes to something they have any intentions on -making something of-, and with the success of the Professor Layton games, there's absolutely nothing saying Nintendo couldn't have made their own detective series of games that would've been memorable and inspiring enough to jettison the main character into the Nintendo Hall of Fame as it were.  It honestly wouldn't take much at this point - just make the character and give it even the slightest pushes and you're set.  Just give some perceived notion of at least semi-permanency even if you don't intend it - lord knows Star Fox and Captain Falcon know that pain as do their fans.  Yet they're never forgotten, and you can't say that Nintendo put so much effort into that effect, if only for Captain Falcon and not so much Star Fox.  Yet, instead of taking a chance on that new IP, we get a weird game where Pikachu has facial scanning and animations because he's going to say “If this keeps up, we’ll have a bag made from Pikachu…” because that's necessary.  Totally.

really, the whole 'two years' thing is what bugs me the most, you're better than that Nintendo

Read more at http://www.siliconera.com/2013/10/28/top-secret-pokmon-game-revealed-detective-game-featuring-pikachu/#Ms1zGALrLKBRG07u.99

3rd Gen Pokemon Remakes Are Probably Coming, But Eh

If you take a look at this Siliconera post you'll see a few screenshots from various sources that would generally hint towards a Ruby and Sapphire remake.  However, if you would just pay attention to...just about anything and use your own common sense, you would already know that these things are things that are going to happen.  It's not even called pattern recognition, noting that the first and second gens have seen remakes, or anything like that.  It is, quite literally, just common sense, because all it does is make sense for Nintendo to go this route.  Because it makes money, and what Nintendo really needs to do is bolster their Wii U division while they get the games on it, and the way they do that is by making a ton of money in the handheld division.

The biggest arguments against Nintendo making Ruby and Sapphire remakes basically come from people who refuse to believe Nintendo wants to do it because....reasons, I suppose.  When you point out that Red and Blue (Green) were remade, they say "Well yeah, they were the first ones, it was a special thing", and when you point out that Gold and Silver were remade, they go "Well yeah, but that was because of the improvements made, and because they wanted to do the Pokewalker thing".  When you say that that is just what Nintendo does, they go, "Oh yeah, because they're doing all the same things, right, and that's why we got Pokemon Grey?"  To that point, all I have to say is thus:

Hey.  You.  Listen.  We didn't get Pokemon Grey, true.  We didn't get one bridging game with a few new features.  We got two bridging games that follow the "Please buy both" philosophy with a few new features, further pointing in the direction of Nintendo wants your fucking money.  "But Mogs, Black and White 2 were full-fledged sequels and it wasn't just like a potential Grey cas-" Hush.  Black and White 2 were -far- less taxing than something like X and Y, a brand new iteration, and was probably only mildly more intensive than a theoretical 'Grey' so it existed somewhere in the grey space (heh) between a Grey and X/Y.  In other words, it was not as dramatic a departure from the release formula as you might expect, and thus it doesn't disprove the potential of a Ruby/Sapphire remake release in the least.

It's not to say that I even -want- a Ruby/Sapphire remake, however, because I didn't even particularly care for Gen 3.  I know I say a lot of negative stuff about Pokemon as a whole, which is why I'm going to try to reign it in here, but Gen 3 was, outside of the important changes to the battle system, the worst gen to date.  Fresh off the amazing things that Gold and Silver did - the Poke'Gear, Radio stuff, introducing the Day/Night Cycle and letting you go back to the original region for a whole new Gym-crawl - Ruby/Sapphire basically only brought the Special Attack/Defense split and regressed beyond that, resulting in -massive- steps back.  Sure, the region was alright.  It looked nice for the time.  And the new Pokemon were pretty cool.  However, the mechanics, as stated, were abysmally behind-the-times they had instated themselves, and the story was -terrible-.  I know, I know, we don't play Pokemon for the story, but that doesn't let it get a pass for being the most bullshit thing this side of Black/White's main storyline.

It's all a bit moot, however, since I will be first in line to buy a Ruby remake even though I've decried Gen 3 for as long as I've been playing Pokemon and Gen 3 was a thing.  I will put down money for it, play it and probably bitch the whole time, but at least I realize that I am part of the problem.  But I can't help it because the allure of Pokemon is something that no other company has fine-tuned just yet and until they have, I will probably keep getting drawn back in, over and over again, kicking and screaming the whole time.  Who knows, one of these times, they might just implement the improvements to the formula that we all wa-

Hahahahahaha

that joke will never get old, unfortunately

Interior Home Design - Animal Crossing: New Leaf Edition

It occurs to me that, for all the talk I've done about Animal Crossing:  New Leaf (and it has been a lot), I haven't really spoken on the other element that's kept me driven and such in the game.  Aside from going all Recettear on my townies and shaping Kupolis directly to my whims, my main goal is to establish a house that looks baller as hell on the inside, making me quite proud to have been the decorator of it.  Or at least, it was the original goal before I discovered the rest, which means I suppose that New Leaf -does- have some rather welcome additions to it since at least the former is new and the latter is fueled by reasons that I never would have gone to such extremes over in previous incarnations.  Still, one of my main goals from early on was to earn the Golden Exterior pieces (which you can see that I got) that I may live and drown in opulence the likes of which my peasant townsfolk will never even have a taste of.

That philosophy is echoed with my main entrance room, I think.  The entire Golden Series basically lives and breathes the mentality of "Allow the chaff to feel envy that threatens to strangle them" and I couldn't love it any more for that if I tried.  The issue with getting the Golden Series furniture, however, is basically the Animal Crossing mantra: "MUST.  BE.  RANDOM."  You get a stone in your town every day that you can break with a shovel that will give you an ore, which obviously has a random chance of being Golden Ore.  You also have a random chance of getting ores from your Money Rock with a Silver Shovel which, of course, all have a chance of being Golden Ores.  For a single piece of Golden Furniture, you need three Ores which you take to the local Refurbishing Fellow Cyrus, who charges you 10,000 Bells for, wait for it....wait for it....a random piece of the Golden Series.  Sigh.

When you're aiming for specific pieces to complete the set (I'm missing the Wallpaper as you might notice) or spares to make your actual design work, it's just a mite frustrating.  Which is why my room is simply not done yet.  So, this is the point in time where I help you visualize just what it's supposed to look like for your own amusement.  The broad strokes are already there, however (which is purposely on my part) so it's not -too- difficult.  The theme for the room is going to be a Throne/Conference room that's just filthy rich and terrible and gaudy and such.  The Throne (which costs 800,000 Bells) would be nice, but it's off-center (which means I would just buy two, honestly), so I went with the Golden Bench since I can quite literally sit in the middle of it and look like a fucking boss.  Two chairs are on either side of the bench, but I want two more, another for each side, to give the illusion of, you know, set meeting spots and such.  If I could set up a table in the middle without blocking off all access to the seats, you bet your ass I would do just that, but alas, it cannot be done.

Additional goals include getting another Golden Screen, getting the Golden Bed and Clock out (probably the bench on the right side as well) and symmetrically setting up the screen on the left-hand side.  An unknown machine (that the community basically refers to as "The button" ala a nuke switch) is behind my right screen and I'd probably just put some sort of music player behind the left so I would -have- music.  As for the entrance and doors, well, I want Golden Women (the Tiki Torch thing on the left side of the door at the bottom of the picture) to line the entrance (two on each side) and Golden Wall torches to go beside each doorway.  Which....is a lot of Golden pieces.  I don't know if I'll actually ever get those pieces.  I'm hedging my bets on "No", which....is what it is, I suppose.  But that is basically what long-term goals are, anyway!  Things that will probably never happen.

On the right of my main room is the room reserved for what the astute might recognize as Christmas time.  A custom design plastered all over the wall and floor as a place-holder and a few winter-y/Christmas-y themed items to get the mood started and it's basically just waiting til December for the Christmas Series (previously known simply as the "Jingle series").  You are all likely well aware of my enjoyment of Christmas stuff by now, since you're probably good readers of my blog here, but if it wasn't blatantly obvious already, then, well, there it is.  I am an absolute whore for Christmas and this goddamn room will be Christmas as fuck when I can actually get that done.  Either when I can touch them and order them through the catalog or, as stated, when December rolls around and I buy them from the Nooklings obsessively.  I don't really know how I'm going to set it up, but it's going to happen.  And it's going to be awesome.

The room on the left is populated with the Astro Series of furniture coupled with the Industrial Wall and Floor because they're far better than the Astro Floor and Wall, especially since I have these all recolored to Red/Black instead of the original Orange/White.  The original intent was just to have a cool space room because space rooms are cool, but, well, the Astro series looks a little goofy.  Luckily, there are assorted Sci-Fi odds and ends that I can spice up the room with, as well as traditional "Lunar" objects like Asteroids, Lunar Rovers and the like.  All told, there will be a lot of machinery and such going on, and it's going to be pretty great looking.  Possibly.  I think I'm going to keep it science-y regardless, since I don't know what else I would do for that room, since I have to split my design ideas between three different houses and that's going to get a bit messy to say the least.

The Basement.....the basement is literally a mess.  I have absolutely no idea what I'm actually going to theme the room on, and I'm basically just shoving shit down there while I figure things out.  I do, however, want you to take note of the Red Box Corner Sofa at the top of the screen that's attached to the normal Green-ish Box Corner Sofa.  That's going to be important for the next room that is slightly out of order because I wanted you to see that piece first.

The Sleek Series room in behind my main room is the room that is more or less 'finished' and I'm pretty happy with the way that it looks.  The sitting area is set up nice for conversation, there's good flow, and it just looks really nice.  The only things that I dislike are the wallpaper and carpet, as you cannot customize those to match the color scheme of the custom furniture, which seems a strange oversight.  The other issue is that I have a completely empty lower right corner, which I debated on just how to fill that.  And I decided, eventually, that the best idea would be to make -more- seating because there just isn't enough, clearly.  The Box Corner Sofa above in the red leather (it's slightly lighter than the sexy red of the Sleek, but still) will be in the corner, and the appropriate Box Sofa pieces, once I acquire one to order multiple will branch off of that for a nice corner sofa for people to theoretically have their own conversation away from the main one.  Because that's neat.  It can't happen in AC, because the max is 4 people at one time, but it's design.

Finally, the second floor room is going to be my Office outfitted with the Rococo Series of furniture.  It's going to be pretty swanky, what with two sofas (where the one is, make a corner facing the back wall), the desk area in the bottom left corner, and some sort of set-up going on with the rest of it.  I'm probably keeping the Modern Tile floor with the Rococo Wall (once I put that up) since the Rococo floor looks kind of dumb.  I think I'm also going to set up the coffee equipment up in this room because what's an office without a way to get some primo coffee for those long nights of doing things?  The Mannequins will be getting the boot, clearly, and the like, so that's a good bit of space which will probably be occupied by the bed.  I basically just have to order the furniture and set it up, which is...the easiest room of all of them since the rest of the rooms, I don't quite have all the stuff just yet, nor the means to get it easily.  With any luck, I'll get stuff sorted quick enough and can do an "After" post as well which will show off all the new bits and layout.  Because, that's....that's the point.

Showing you things now and how they'll end up, that is.

it's pretty weird trying to describe furniture layout in a basic video game design

Nintendo Announces the 2DS, Nobody Knows What the Hell

In a stunning, out-of-friggin'-nowhere announcement that Nintendo made today (alongside a few others), it seems that they've developed and created a new 3DS that will be out in just under two months when Pokemon X and Y hit the shelves.  Actually calling it a new 3DS is...a little tricky, however, because it lacks the titular element that made the 3DS the 3DS.  So much so, that it has a different name entirely:  the Nintendo 2DS.  It means exactly what it says on the tin, because the shiny 3D effects that the 3DS outputs and whatnot are entirely stripped from this new system, leaving every game (even the ones specifically designed around the 3D effect) stuck in the 2D plane literally and figuratively as opposed to the quasi-3D plane that they previously achieved through the 3DS' (admittedly alright) methods.  Because, you know, that was necessary.

The 2DS does quite a bit more to differentiate itself from the 3DS aside from simply losing the 3D, however.  Gone is the clamshell design that, while it apparently sometimes causes scratches to the upper screen, made the device a portable one which is...you know, the point of it.  Size Comparison shots put the new 2DS at about the size of an original 3DS unfolded, but just a bit smaller while retaining screen size.  I think.  Looks like it at least.  Basically this thing is not going into your pocket to make use of Streetpassing and the mobility-centric things that Ninendo designed for the 3DS specifically so you would walk around with it in your pocket unless you just really have big pockets and aren't worried about the exposed screens getting all mussed up.  Thanks to the shell-less design, however, we finally do have proper Start and Select buttons (possibly....they have to be better than the crappy ones on the 3DS and XL) and a Home Button that looks a -little- better, even if it's specifically reminiscent of iDevices.  The entire aesthetic and layout is changed as well and looks....terribly uncomfortable, with the main things directly in the middle with the shoulder buttons on the top of it.  Given its smaller size, maybe it's better than it looks (in fact, it almost assuredly is) but it doesn't give the best first impression.

Something else that's rather interesting about the 2DS is that, thanks to the lack of a Clamshell design, the two screens of the handheld are actually -one- screen this time around.  Which means that the whole thing is a touch screen, but you can only make use of the bottom half of it.  This is mostly a cost-cutting measure as is most of the design choices with the 2DS.  And at a pricepoint of $129.99, it's pretty obvious why.  By cutting all of the bells, whistles and some basic functionality, they're able to put out a really dumb iteration of the 3DS which is selling fine thank you specifically to market towards kids on the day that Pokemon comes out.  Because the people who really want Pokemon are not the people who have already bought a 3DS, clearly.  The fence-sitting "only going to buy one when Pokemon comes out" crowd is clearly a large one that deserves some subset of pandering to.  And the argument, again is, "It's for kids!" but what kid has been crowing about a 3DS since it came out that -doesn't- have one?  And how many of those kids who haven't gotten one are actually going to get this one?

The answer is:  Probably a lot.  Because it doesn't make sense.  The only -actual- level this makes any bit of sense on is the financial one, which I suppose is the only level it needs to function on, but still.  It's beyond silly to design a console specifically around a feature and then remove that feature just because.  You could draw some allusions to Microsoft and the recent shenanigans they made, but it's a highly different beast for very simple reasons:  1) Microsoft's original XBone was detrimental and harmful to the gaming model as a whole and would have not been sustainable on the level they were expecting and 2) Their decisions to remove the functions was purely reactionary.  Perhaps if the 3DS had been the 2DS from the on-set after the original announcement and people went "We don't need 3D, 3D is lame!" and such, then, yes, that would have been reactionary and comparable.  But this is just mucking about with something simply to squeeze a little more money out of it in a ridiculous fashion and it comes off as one of those "Nintendo Desperate" moves in an atmosphere where they don't need to be desperate just yet.

I really had to resist the urge to add the "I never asked for this" jpeg

Bonus Post: Animal Crossing: New Leaf - The Culling

Far too long ago I spoke of a simple goal in Animal Crossing:  New Leaf.  That goal was to finally obtain the Golden Axe through which my will would be done I would be able to clear-cut Kupolis and replant the trees in places where I wanted them, where they would make sense, and where they wouldn't be in the way of the damn roads I wanted to put down.  The goal was to be free of the bonds that hold you to doing certain things, to playing a certain way if you want "the good stuff".  With 15 days of "Perfect Status", your time beholden to the City, the ways that it wanted it shaped and the ways that it desired the foliage were finished, but you did not have an effective tool for reshaping until you acquired the Golden Axe.  Which of course required 50 saplings purchased from a store that sells one per day.  While the Golden Axe is not required in concept, it certainly is in execution because it is the only axe that simply will not break, and thus allows you to simply enjoy the arboreal genocide.

A few days ago, the Golden Axe was mine.  I was technically prepared, but I wanted to wait for one last harvest of my trees because I wanted to get enough to replant.  Because that's...half the point.  I don't -want- a flat expanse of nothing, I just don't want trees in the middle of my goddamn roads and in the way of my Public Works projects and such.  So I rested on my laurels (almost literally, ha) and simply awaited the day when fruit would spring from them anew.

That day was today.  As soon as I came across a group of two apple trees and two lemon trees with the respective fruits hanging from their branches, a smirk crossed my lips.  This was it.  This was the moment I waited for.  It was time.

Today was The Culling.

The fruit had to be gathered first.  All in all, I have enough trees that give me anywhere from 1-3 baskets of 9 fruit for all of the different types of fruit (Apples, Pears, Cherries, Peaches, Lemons, Durians, Lychees, Mangoes and Persimmons) not counting my native fruit of Oranges, and the two fruits who only drop in twos, Coconuts and Bananas.  So, harvest day takes a bit of time, especially because fruit doesn't auto-stack and you have a limited inventory space to begin with.  Still, it's something that I do and as a sort of fail-safe with myself to ensure I don't miss trees, (aside from keeping the totals to 9s across the board), I generally stack my fruit baskets up and take a look at them to see if it looks more or less like the last time I did it.

This is...generally what it looks like.  I don't need to have the coconuts and bananas because, as said, they don't all total to 9 and I didn't cut those trees anyway because they're on the beach and I don't even care about the beach, but still.  It's nice to have evidence of the bounty.  Of course, it would have been much more impressive if I had remembered my oranges -before- I took this picture and sold all those instead of after, leaving me to just take a picture of the orange baskets.

Still, that's a lot of oranges.  They sell for a lot less, being the native fruit, but it's still a little bit of bells if you need it and are willing to go through the hassle of shaking them all down, piling them up and whatnot.  Of course, I -did- have the forethought to take out fruit from every basket for replanting purposes.  You simply plant a single fruit and it sprouts into a tree that will bear three whenever it's ready to be harvested which means a nice, steady income of bells since the trees bear fruit every three days, I believe.  Which means for every 9 fruit you collect, if you want to replant, you take out 3.  Because 1 fruit equals 1 tree equals 3 fruit, so 3 fruit equals 3 trees equals 9 fruit.  Nice and simple.

This is basically what that looks like.  Obviously, a good portion of the fruit was cut off on the left side, but it helps to get an impression on just how many fruit trees I had in Kupolis and will have again.  So you can understand why I will have to have them sectioned off in a nice little area all to their own which I can keep handled quite well.  That is the purpose of an orchard, of course.  It's much more convenient and clean than having them scattered about willy-nilly within the town proper so that I have to make a trek about all parts of Kupolis just to harvest it all.  Those days are over.  Those fruit were, of course, basketed up and set aside since there will be an event in the plaza tomorrow, but still, it was effective in showing off the enormity of the situation.

I spoke of my trees as a burden at first, and then as an obstacle.  I spoke of my neighbors and in fact the very core of Animal Crossing: New Leaf as antagonistic.  The nature of Animal Crossing, in both meanings, had become something of a rival to me.  Something to be defeated.  To be conquered.  That I could finally take an axe to the greenery around Kupolis was something to be exalted and savored.  The Culling was to be an epic battle of Man vs. Nature, if you will.  Thus, I present to you the soundtrack of my deforestation.

WHITE

WHALE

HOLY

GRAIL

ca·thar·sis

kəˈTHärsis

noun

noun: catharsis; plural noun: catharses

1.

the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong or repressed emotions.

synonyms:

emotional release, relief, release, venting; purging, purgation, purification, cleansing; abreaction "the hope was that hypnosis would bring about a catharsis"

138 trees later (give or take a couple) and all was right in the world.  I was left with a few special stumps that will, apparently, attract rare bugs to them that I may catch and present to the Museum for cataloging (and thereafter simply sell to Re-Tail for bells) and they do look neat.

It's hard to note, but the upper right one is a Butterfly stump (I believe) and the lower one is a Heart stump, shown off next to a normal "Bullseye" stump.  All of them can be sat on if....you feel the need to sit on a stump, but aside from the bug thing, that's all they're there for.  The special stumps, I didn't dig up, and I left a few regular stumps as well, but everything else was dug up and the earth returned to normal underneath.  All so I could complete the project that I had striven for for these past weeks.  The one project that I wanted to accomplish first, as it would be phase one of making Kupolis that which I desired.  That which I envisioned.

Roads.  Paths to the houses of my villagers, paths to my house and Dinah's, paths to Re-Tail and the Train Station and the entrance to Main Street.  Roads connected all to one another, taking you anywhere you want to go.  Each tile of road, I placed down manually, conforming my will with that of the very ground of Kupolis itself.  With the hands of my sprite, I have begun to bring civilization to Kupolis.

Phase One is complete.  And how sweet it is.

I might be a little obsessed with Animal Crossing, you guys

Pokemon....I Don't Even Know Anymore

Pokemon X and Y keeps throwing out the secrets and tidbits of information, and the newest one is the brand new "Mega" form of pokemon which is something so weird that I'm not sure if I can legitimately conjure up words to describe it.  Or perhaps, as I've been instructed elsewhere, "Weird" isn't exactly the correct word, but it's...it's different.  It's something different in pokemon which is something at least.  Various outlets have been running with the term "Mega Evolutions" and I'm not really sure that's the correct title - it shouldn't be - because of just how it works, which is why I'm just going to refer to them as Mega Forms.  I may also call them Super Saiyan because come on that is what they are.  You know it, I know it, everybody knows it, so let's not kid ourselves.

Anyway, basically what these new Mega forms are are a thing you can do with certain pokemon during a battle if they're holding a certain item, which we will call a Mega Stone for now.  Every pokemon that has a Mega Form needs a unique Mega Stone which you will be able to get in-game except for the one for Mega Blaziken because it's a unique DLC event-item (that comes on a Torchic) that will only be available for a limited time because Nintendo still doesn't understand DLC.  Going Super Saiyan Entering Mega Form requires a conscious choice on the part of the player (I think) and takes a full turn to do, wherein your pokemon is vulnerable of course.  However the benefits are fairly obvious - Mega Forms have different innate abilities (Things like Insomniac, Adaptability, not actual moves), likely have buffed stats and just have a different, imposing visage.  So it's a near-immediate return and for as far as I know the effect lasts until the battle is over or the pokemon faints, with no other sort of timer attached.

Of course, that little bit at the end is the reason why it shouldn't be considered an evolution in traditional Pokemon senses.  It's not permanent like Evolution in Pokemon is (and is...y'know, implied by the very term) and the change is not as 'drastic' as evolutions are.  Ampharos grows some 70s metal hair, Blaziken cosplays Heihachi Mishima, and Mewtwo's tail moves to the back of his head because shut up.  It is, of course, mostly about the stats, the boosts, which is why we can affectionately refer to it as "going Super Saiyan", especially when you consider the hair changes are quite prominent in the examples.  They don't get bigger, they don't 'mutate', they don't suddenly grow two more of themselves, it's not evolution in the Pokemon sense in any way.  Which isn't a bad thing, it just bears mentioning.  Since...there really isn't much else -to- mention about it, really.

Mid-battle evolution has raised more than a few allusions to Digimon which basically relied solely -on- mid-battle evolution.  Or at least, that's what the anime taught me, but the anime for Pokemon taught me a lot of stuff that is wrong too, so I don't even know.  At the very least, evolution in Digimon isn't permanent either, and ties more closely to what Mega Evolution Forms represents in a boost of stats in battle when you need it, where the boost goes away when it's over with.  Of course, Digimon's evolutions were also the big bad 'traditional' form of evolutions where things got big and mean for the most part, but still.  I am trying to make a point and it's hard to make and I can't really concentrate because of Animal Crossing which I will cover in a separate post after this.  The point is that it's similar, which is strange since back in the day they were....basically competing and at least outside of Japan, Pokemon seemed to pretty much stomp Digimon flat.  Unfortunate or fortunate as it may be.

Only six pokemon have Mega Evolutions Forms so far, but I would imagine with, what, 500-600 Pokemon, they can have more than that.  Of course it is Pokemon after all, so one can never be sure.  Regardless it's at least a new mechanic in the game that is wholly new and comes from left field so I have to respect it based on that alone.  Sure, it's not a change that I wanted, nor one that I feel was at all necessary, but that's just how it goes sometimes.  It's a sign of progress no matter what, so that's a positive.  I just can't help but wonder if some of the Mega Forms are going to get -really- weird; I don't trust enough that they won't toss one at Pikachu or Eevee, neither of which actually need a Mega Form, where the Blaziken Mega Form sort of leaves one wondering if -all- starters are going to get a Mega Form.  Which....makes sense, but, you know, effort.  Sometimes you have to just wonder about things like that when it comes to the game.

even if Pikachu gets a Mega Form, I'mma roll with Raichu because Raichu is boss status

Gaming By The Numbers - The Silly Economics of Animal Crossing: New Leaf

For as much as I have grumbled on and on about Animal Crossing:  New Leaf (even though I had some nice things to say in my review of it) I can't bring myself to say that I don't like the game, even if I can tell you in very many strings of words how I hate a lot of the parts of it individually.  I like Animal Crossing, and I especially like New Leaf because it's the best of the games so far by default.  Though they didn't get a lot of it right, they got more than enough right that even as someone who hates every single villager in his town save two, someone who is so very, very tired of paying off Tom Nook's endless debts, I still play it every day and I still have -fun- with it every day.  Though part of the fun is admittedly in hoping that today will be the day that I finally get a picture from somebody so that I can happily tell them to get the hell out of Kupolis when they talk about moving away.

The other part, however, is the little Shop Simulator they've managed to cram into the game in the form of the Flea Market spaces in Re-Tail, the place where you go to sell the crap you don't want anymore.  Shop Simulator is stretching things a little bit, since basically all that happens is there are eight slots in which you (and other villagers, provided there are empty slots for them, which there will NEVER EVER BE) can put up items that you intend to sell for a price that you get to decide.  Obvious rules apply here - the price has to be somewhere in the realm of reasonable, so if you think you're going to sell a Cushion for 999,999 Bells, you're out of your damn mind and the villagers will tell you as much.  Of course, the issue then becomes -what- is a reasonable price for any given item?

The answer is that it's just complicated because the villagers all actually know exactly what everything costs because the game is cheap and they're cheating assholes.  See, because it's a Flea Market, the actual intent is -not- to make a profit because the items are all used and as such they've depreciated and blah blah blah.  Of course, that's not how things work in Kupolis, because I know the bullshit and things do not depreciate in value in Animal Crossing no matter what anyone says because they're digital and not programmed to degrade as such.  So I fly my Capitalist flag high and make a profit on every damn thing I sell.  The side effect of this is that everything is a bit of a hard sell because it's, well, being sold at a premium so that I make something out of the deal.  It doesn't actually matter what the price -is- so to speak, so much as it matters what the price is in relation to.  For instance, trying to sell a Wooden Box (Retail: 200, suggested sell price: 50) for 300 Bells and trying to sell a Kitchen Sink (Retail: 2,400, suggested sell price: 600) for 3,000 result in the exact same grumbling that they won't have enough bells for their groceries or this or that.  Which is bullshit.

Generally speaking, you will be able to sell something to everyone who walks in (only one at a time, of course, and sometimes they stick around after a purchase to go "OH MAN, I REALLY BOUGHT SOMETHING, IT WAS SO AWESOME", yes yes, get the hell out) though it may take a while.  There's a 'flow' to the sale, so to speak.  A villager will walk in, move about and usually get a sort of surprised expression before rushing up to whatever it is they're looking at to wait for you.  Then they'll go "Oh man, this is pretty good, BUT it's PRETTY EXPENSIVE, I DUNNO" (unless you're just selling things for quarter-retail in which case, pfft, whatever sucker) which gives you the option to tell them "BUY IT ANYWAY" or "Yeah, you don't want it, actually", the latter of which is only good if you are playing on the same cart as someone else and you want to be a gigantic asshole and make sure nobody buys the other persons things.  Telling them to buy it will either lead to them going "You know what, I better treat myself" and buying it, or them saying "NOPE, TOO EXPENSIVE AFTER ALL".  If it's the latter case, you just sort of...nudge them into line-of-sight for another item to repeat the process.  If you do this for every item for sale and nothing gets sold, congratulations, your villager is an asshole and you should look forward to the day they move out.

Ideally, this won't happen because you're probably not going to want to stray -too- far off of the Retail Price since profit is profit.  Because of the randomness in whether or not they'll reliably buy something, it's hard to say what kind of margin to -expect-, but I can tell you that trying for the ideal 100% retail markup is going to end in tears.  Somewhere between 30-50% would likely be acceptable - obviously start at 50% and work down if things aren't selling as fast as you want them to (as in, somebody looks at all your items without buying) and understand that it's random.  As are most things in Animal Crossing:  New Leaf.  So what I'm saying is that, for your 2,400 Retail Kitchen Sink, you'll want to try and sell it from anywhere between 3,120 - 3,600 Bells and you'll likely see a purchase on that.  Easy money and depending on how long you've had the item, it might seem -more- profitable than not since sometimes you just want to get rid of shit, god.  Of course, as long as you're making profit, it's all good no matter what.

Now you might be thinking "Well that all seems like a lot of effort for not a lot of profit" and you are correct, because it's not a lot of profit if you're selling things that you have just bought (or bought previously at Retail price), but that's where a lot of the fun things come in that make the Flea Market seem downright evil like CAPITALIST HEAVEN.  You see, very little of your inventory of items will likely actually come from you handing over retail bells to acquire said item in the first place.  Every day, there are two trees that you can shake to get random items (let it be known that by Items, I mean furniture) for absolutely nothing.  This isn't counting that sometimes your villagers will say "HEY, I feel super generous here, so have this item" or some variation of that, and just hand it over.  Or sometimes they give you a little errand (get this package to this person before the end of the day) which they will hand over something (sometimes clothing which is bad, but usually furniture) for the sweet sweet price of free.

Do you see where I'm coming from?  That Kitchen Sink you shook out of a tree somehow, that sells for 2,400 bells Retail and 3,120 - 3,600 bells via mark-up?  PURE PROFIT.  That Balloon Dresser you shot down from a balloon with a suggested sale price of 670 bells, meaning a retail price of 2,680 bells, meaning a markup of 3,484 - 4,020 bells?  PURE PROFIT.  -Now- you can see how the bells start piling up rather quickly and -now- you can see why the effort is actually worth it.  Because this isn't a profit margin, now, of 720 - 1,200 bells, this is a profit margin of everything you get.  That's not even the sweetest part.  No, no no no, not even close.  Do you want to know what the sweetest part is?  What the absolute best, greatest part of the whole thing is?

When you sell something to someone and they turn around and give it back to you as a gift, free of charge.  Because that means you can put it back up for sale at the same markup and make that profit all over again.

That, my friends, that is a thing of beauty.  And -that- is why I'm still playing Animal Crossing:  New Leaf in a nutshell.

this is why I'm sad that my computer is shit and I can't play Recettear because I would be so good at it

Conquest, I Choose You!

It's been a while since I've actually talked about Pokemon Conquest and that's mostly because of the fact that until recently, as in a couple days ago, the game was not in my possession.  That has been remedied, obviously, and in my latest little wealth of things to do where I still find things lacking, I have decided to throw it into my 3DS and have a go with it.  I will say that it is pretty much exactly what it offers on the tin - it is clearly a cross-over of Pokemon and KOEI's version of Feudal Japan, though not necessarily Nobunaga's Ambition; clearly the sprites of the Warriors are from Samurai Warriors 3, you know the game that was Wii-exclusive in America which was fucking annoying for someone who buys every goddamn retail Warriors game he can play at least in theory.  Though, regardless of the backdrop and the main characters being from Samurai Warriors, you can clearly tell that there are Game Freak or The Pokemon Company fingers in the writing pie, which I can't say in all honesty is a good move.  Either that or KOEI's writers played a Pokemon game and copied its basic concept....which is what Game Freak does anyway.  Either way.

There's not a whole lot of meat to the story, at least not at the start.  "There are pokemon, Warriors are people who can communicate 'wordlessly' with pokemon (except they verbally command them anyway) and some Warriors rule one of the seventeen kingdoms of the land.  You are the new ruler of Aurora.  So....have fun with that." is basically the entirety of the intro, and then you are handed off to Oichi the tutorial queen for a little while until the game starts progressively opening up.  It's light-hearted and lacking, as your first 'major' goal is to conquer the kingdom right next to you....which is not a challenge in the least.  Ignis (it's a Fire Kingdom) is ruled by Toyotomi Hideyoshi (this stops making sense...really fast) and is there to be steam-rolled by you with your Eevee and Oichi with her Jigglypuff.  After that, Fontaine and Greenleaf (Water and Grass respectively GEE CAN YOU SEE THE THEME IT'S ALMOST LIKE THE FIRST THREE KINGDOMS ARE FIRE, WATER AND GRASS LIKE THE STARTER POKEMON IN EVERY POKEMON GAME EVER) open up and once you conquer them with similarly lacking amounts of aplomb, you get the 'story' of the game as it were.

There is apparently a rumor/legend in Ransei (the area Conquest takes place in) that whoever unites the seventeen kingdoms under the same banner will awaken 'the legendary pokemon' and apparently be granted its power for ill or good.  And rumors state that Oda Nobunaga (see?  Hideyoshi having his own kingdom already makes no sense at all) is working towards that goal so he can...wait for it...wait for it.....destroy the Ransei region.

Ugh.

This right here is why I say that somebody who usually works on Pokemon games had their hand in the story.  Because this right here?  This is a carbon-copy of every Team ambition from Ruby/Sapphire on in so many words.  Sure, some of the teams aren't hoping for global destruction, but rather world dominance or something but close enough.  My question is why?  Why is this necessary?  Why does Nobunaga have to want to destroy the land?  Is it there to paint him as an obvious bad guy?  There are other ways, better ways to do this.  Ways that just involve him being kind of a dick which makes sense instead of being cartoonishly evil which -doesn't- make sense.  I honestly thought Pokemon Conquest would be refreshing since it's...not really conducive to having a Team "Something", but that right there makes Nobunaga him a one-man Team Nobunaga with a hair-brained scheme for a legendary pokemon who will ultimately be thwarted by a child.

Of course the story and setting is only half of the set-up with the actual gameplay being the other part of it.  Though it bills itself as a Nobunaga's Ambition game, I'm going to say that it's a very, very 'lite' version of the franchise which I'm not impressed with in the slightest.  You have Kingdoms (should be Fiefdoms) that you conquer to add to your own dominion and each Kingdom has their own buildings (none of which you place unless that comes later on, which is possible) and you have your officers that can do things, but none of it is simulation-related, as in one of the things that is kind of a draw to the Nobunaga's Ambition (and those types of games in general) but rather centered on your Pokemon.  You can train them with random battles (some of which give you other Warriors if you fulfill conditions) make their energy values go up and buy them items to equip on them for use in battle, things like that so far.  Which...leaves a lot to be desired, in all honesty.

Battles are obviously not the standard Pokemon fare, and are instead more of a tactical/strategy RPG system that you might see in the likes of Final Fantasy Tactics, Fire Emblem and similar.  So far into the game, though I suspect it's the case for the entirety of it, every Warrior only has one Pokemon to their name and that Pokemon only has one move of their own which flies in the face of Pokemon logic if nothing else.  In a sense, that sort of categorizes every pokemon that's included into a..."Class" ala normal SRPGs in terms of how they can attack, in that Charmanders and Tepigs appear to be akin to "Archers" since their Ember attack can only hit from two blocks away (meaning a block between you and the enemy), while a lot of others have strange attack ranges as well.  Anything with Vine whip hits the square in front of them and to the left and right of that square at once, making it really powerful if your enemies are all lined up.  While moves are common between a few pokemon, everyone also has a "Warrior" move which seems to be at least slightly unique.  Warrior moves can be activated once per battle and range from vastly increasing your move range (base Eevee skill), Healing nearby (all?) allies (base Jigglypuff skill) or just upping the chance of inflicting a status ailment (my warrior with Charmander has this), though there are other variations, of course.

Admittedly my exposure to the game isn't nearly full yet, and it still has quite a bit of time to impress me.  I know Pokemon can at least Evolve, which I assume changes their move if nothing else, and I eagerly await making my Eevee into a Glaceon because Glaceons are awesome.  Likewise, I'm going to try to nab me a Warrior with a Pikachu with the goal to make it a Raichu because it wouldn't be me playing a Pokemon game if I didn't grab up a Raichu.  That alone makes me want to at least continue into the game even though I feel it's a bit shallow at the moment, because that little hint of depth encourages me that there will be more.  Maybe I'm wrong, but that's something I'm going to find out, that's for sure.  And you know, maybe I'll just unify Japan in the meantime if I'm not too busy and all.