Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Dear Squeenix, Pull Your Head Out of Your Goddamn Ass

I probably do it more than I realize, but I will say that I specifically don't like 'Rage-posting', or sitting down with a topic in mind and just writing up something vitriolic and annoyed over a situation or thing.  It can be cathartic, of course, and at times, it's warranted (topically enough, for Final Fantasy XIII-2, it was certainly acceptable) and this is one of those times.  While I'm sure this is a "Moving Parts" scenario, or a thing where there's a lot more going on than what is obvious, and all that other such rot, I don't really care.  This is a situation in which the solution to a problem is completely and totally in front of their face, and they refuse to actually understand that and acknowledge it.  Yet, they are more than willing to completely misappropriate things in whatever way they can to try and put a spin on it, which is the last thing they should be doing at the moment.

The situation, as it stands currently is that CEO Wada is going to step down as the company restructures in the face of posting a $106 Million loss.  Technically, Wada's in place until at least June when they vote on whether or not he can actually step down, I guess, but let's face it - dude is gone.  That part?  That's whatever.  Good luck to that dude or good riddance - it's a judgment call as to which one you're saying and you're probably justified either way.  The other part, the whole restructuring and losing a ton of money is where stuff starts to get interesting, and by 'interesting' I mean that Squeenix lets their patently Squeenix colors fly, meaning they felt the urge to say something dumb and make the situation worse for themselves.  Because that is just how they roll, you see.

You see the primary reason, they said, that they're doing so financially poorly at the moment is because their latest games are selling so bad.  You know, Sleeping Dogs which is a pretty great game, Hitman:  Absolution, which admittedly saw something of a mixed reaction and Tomb Raider, which sold over a million copies in forty-eight hours.  Only a million, of course, and then only 3.4 million retail copies by the end of the month, based on their projections.  I will say and specify retail once more because they are not counting downloaded versions of the game, of any of the games, which means they're actually short-selling it when the goddamn game was available on Steam and PSN on day-one at least, if not XBL as well, all of which will comfortably add a million to the total at least.  In a month.  Since it was released on the fifth, the fiscal year ends on the 31st and that is the window that they estimate 3.4 Million disk sales after I assume they did not update their sales forecasts after delaying the game for over a year.  Yet the sales are 'weak'.

You might think that it's funny that they're just sort of blaming the western games, and make no mistake, they are just doing that in a pompous sort of way.  Though, there's really nothing to compare it against because the last Squeenix proper game that came out was Theatrhythm in goddamn February of 2012.  Or, if you don't count handheld games, then Final Fantasy XIII-2 in January of 2011.  The former being a wacky spin-off of a spin-off and the latter being a shitty sequel to a game that was collectively despised more than it was touted.  Before those, it was Final Fantasy IV:  The Complete Collection in March of 2011 and before that, Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy in the same month.  My point is that Squeenix is not good at making and putting out their own games, so whinging on and on about games that have actually entered development, finished and released in the same span of time that their own game has solely been in development (Not counting the years prior to it) seems a little silly.  Be glad you're releasing anything at all, because that means money at the end of the day, which is certainly not something -you're- bringing in.

Really, the bulk of the losses is because of the restructuring that they're doing in the face of losses.  So they're throwing out more money because they're losing money.  This, of course, makes perfect Squeenix sense and just lends itself to allowing us to stand by and point and laugh.  They have plenty of money to print if they would just do it - Lightning Returns might not actually be terrible, so I might pick it up, and I would definitely buy a digital copy of Final Fantasy Type-0 on my Vita if such a thing ever happened.  The upcoming FFX/X-2 HD Remasters will also gain a few bucks depending on the strategy they go for it.  If it's $40 for the PS3 package and $20 for each Vita game individually, well, good on them.  I do, of course, expect $30 per Vita game and will continue to believe that until I am proven incorrect.  Because Squeenix are, clearly, assholes that will do that, if just to have something else to blame when their shitty things don't sell well.

What that means is that this likely isn't dire straights for the company.  But they will probably act like it is and the next year or so of Squeenix will either be -awesome- or -horrible-.  We're used to the latter, so I'm not sure we'll notice much of a change, really.  Regardless, as I implied with the title, they should really take the advice of one of their own published characters.  And all I gotta say beyond that is that if Drakengard 3 doesn't get localized, I'mma cut a bitch.

And you know it's true.

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