Welp, Nevermind THQ's Done

Remember when THQ filed for Bankruptcy and the President of THQ came forward and said in an open statement to everyone that 'THQ is fine and isn't going anywhere'?  Yeah, well....that is probably not the case anymore.  Some recent developments with that whole situation over the last weekend were made and they are not pleasant ones for any involved.  The plan was pretty much simple, as it was presented.  Jason Rubin said, basically "We had to go into Bankruptcy and look for an investor so that we could quickly repay the folks we owe as soon as possible" which sounds sensible as all hell and should immediately tell you that it's certainly not going to happen that way.  Because why would it?  I mean, why would things just work in ways that are considerate for everyone involved?

Over the weekend, some groups had raised some complaints to THQ's proposed plan to seek investment through Clearlake Capital Group, well a purchase from them I should say, and there was a hearing about it.  Ultimately a Judge decided that the sale wasn't cool to go through when it was scheduled to because, and this is literally the goddamn reason, 'it doesn't make the most money possible'.  With Warner Bros., EA and other publishers sniffing around, there's a very big, very real possibility that piecemeal sale of THQ's assets will ultimately bring in more money than the Clearlake deal would net, making it the more lucrative option for THQ's creditors.  Because, of course, in this economy when everyone is only too happy to chirp up about how nobody wants to protect jobs or this or that, whine about how outsourcing is too big, an actual plan to prevent the loss of jobs shows up and is instantly swatted away.  It's a fickle thing, clearly.

I guess I shouldn't be too annoyed just yet since there's absolutely nothing stating that the IPs are the -only- things that will go on sale, unless I missed it.  If you all remember when Midway went under, Warner Bros. stepped in and bought the MK IP, but they also got the development team which we now know as Netherrealm Studios and they're doing pretty spiffy, I should say.  So -technically- we could assume that any potential publisher that purchases up the rights to the individual series that will go on sale might also bring the talent over as well, one way or another.  The Netherrealm Studios example isn't the only one of course, as even when Squeenix bought up True Crime:  Hong Kong (later the amazing Sleeping Dogs), they helped United Front Games continue work on it so that they could finish it regardless.  They didn't acquire UFG, but I would assume if a Sleeping Dogs 2 was ever in the works (please let there be a Sleeping Dogs 2 in the works), Squeenix would tap them for a return as well.  If nothing else, perhaps we could assume that sort of situation for whomever picks up these IPs.

Because the IPs are definitely on sale - I mean, it's pretty much a done deal, I would assume.  The end-goal is, I believe, finding out which option will pay more between the Clearlake deal and interested parties purchasing franchises individually.  Whichever one has the biggest bottom line will be the plan that goes forward so that THQ can just funnel that money directly to the people their creditors.  So while it's still technically possible that the Clearlake deal -will- go through, it's highly unlikely as every franchise individually will probably be quite a bit more than a package deal.  As is the case, generally with package deals, which, I suggest is why they are called deals.  At this point it's pretty much just a matter of thinking about who will buy up what and doing a whole lot of hoping and finger crossing.  As much as I don't hop onto the EA Hate Train whenever it rolls around, I'm not at all enthused with entertaining the thought of an EA published Saint's Row 4, for instance.  Picking up the WWE license, however, is a lot more believable and palatable because EA already has like every other sport and they do alright.  I'd just like to think Warner Bros. will do up a thing like they did with Netherrealm Studios.

The ink isn't dry on the deals and there's still a lot of room for the situation to resume changing dramatically, but it's more or less a lot more real now than it was.  I'm pretty bummed, since I really believed Jason Rubin, but at the same time, there wasn't a whole lot to doubt based on what he presented.  He was saying if they didn't do the sale by a certain date, it would cause a lot of problems and that's basically the lynchpin here in that the Judge and others don't agree with that date.  As such, it's basically still up in the air, but I'm pretty sure it's looking like the chips are going to fall on this latter side now, rather than the shiny, bright side that was presented first.  It's a real shame in a sense, but we won't really know the extent of the damages until the actual dust settles.  Whatever happens, it's going to have a rather big impact all around, though, and that's probably going to be a hard show to watch.

Update!:  Well, things are pretty much like it seemed, since it was confirmed that this is a most money wins situation.  The amount of money Clearlake has put up is apparently $60 Million, so that is the number to beat.  If anyone bids -more- than $60 Million for the whole of THQ, they'll acquire everything as Clearlake would, -or- if the sum of the bids for individual franchises from the likes of Warner Bros., EA and such exceeds $60 Million, then that's how that'll play out.  $60 Million is a -lot- of money, so this might be a closer race than anyone could have figured on.  But it just relies on the bids because not only are the companies against one another, but up against this potential $60 Million figure or even more if someone puts in for a whole bid of more than that.  We'll find out around January 23rd just what's going to happen to THQ, so start hoping for whatever outcome you want now.

Jetpack Joyride is Free, Pretty Good

It's slipped my mind, unfortunately, but last week when the Playstation Store updated, said update included Jetpack Joyride, specifically tailored for the Vita, for the all-too-tempting price of Free.  I'm not sure why - perhaps because it is another freemium title like the delightful Treasures of Montezuma Blitz (in that you can spend all sorts of money on coins and such if you desire) or perhaps because it was simply a late Christmas Gift.  I'm not sure, but it is certainly something to be thanked, to be celebrated, because the little game is something else, that is for sure.  I'm not sure I can even attribute it to the price being nothing (though it certainly helps) because in the very same update, in the Playstation Plus section, Chronovolt was also free and it is terrible.  But Jeypack Joyride?  It's quite a nice little time-sink when you've got a bit of time.

I'm well aware of Jetpack Joyride's beginnings as a simple Mobile game and that much certainly shows even now in this product, but that's not necessarily ever a bad thing.  Yes, we deride mobile games, usually for actual reasons, but sometimes their simplicity and charm end up with something that is just fun, much like this.  I mention charm specifically because there is quite a lot of it tucked away in the corners and cubbyholes of the game, from the main characters name being Barry Steakfries to premise simply being stealing a Jetpack to fly around in for funsies (hence the name) to the various little touches you'll see in the background and coin layouts.  This is clearly a game that was made with -care- and maintained in much the same fashion which is a respectable thing no matter what.

The way the game plays is rather simple.  It starts when Barry bursts through a wall, dons the jetpack and begins his funsies.  You're in a constant state of going right at a rate of speed which is not to you to decide and your only -real- input is whether you are going up or running along the ground.  Those of you familiar with Canabalt probably get that - the goal is simply to go right for as long as possible, dodging obstacles and gaining coins in the meanwhile.  Thus there is no way to 'beat' it, you simply aim to do a little better each time.  Perhaps knowing of its own simplicity, the game does add a deceptive amount of variety with the various tools it implements along the way.  The coins are an obvious one, of course - you use these to purchase upgrades, different clothes, gadgets, all variety of things to make your next run more enjoyable, more silly, or simply more suited to you.  The long-standing goal, by that virtue, is likely to simply buy everything available that is not a consumable, which is a task that will take some time to be sure.

Something that also adds to the experience is that you're not -always- piloting the titular Jetpack, but at times you encounter a power-up that will place you into the seat of another random vehicle or transportation device.  I've encountered six, which I believe is all of them in the form of the Hopper (a giant robot suit), the Anti-Gravity Suit (exactly what it says on the tin.  Think VVVVVV), a motorcycle that is pretty bitchin' (and comes with a shotgun that Barry will unload into scientists without mercy), Mr. Cuddles (a giant robot dragon), the CFT or Crazy Freakin' Transporter (I believe that's the name) and the Profit Bird, which is a robot bird plane thing that is clearly a riff on Angry Birds and it's -hilarious-.  Each vehicle has its own method of use that varies the gameplay up and they all have the benefit of being able to take a hit for you to be discarded so that you can continue your run beyond the one hit that you can take.  An upgrade you can slap on any and all of the vehicles is a magnet which will draw any nearby coins to it as you pass, so it can be quite lucrative to be in one as well.

I think the thing that's the best about the variety, the entrenching mentality of the game, is the Mission system.  You're given exactly three missions at a time, no less no more, that you will complete over a run or several.  Doing so earns you coins for your stash and Stars for your 'level' which, s'far as I can tell, doesn't really do anything but give you a new title and a new card with even more stars to fill before you level up again.  Every mission requires something -different-, some specific thing that is a meta-challenge you can assign to yourself whilst playing to ensure that you do, indeed, keep playing.  Simple things like "High Five Seven Scientists in a single run" which means 'run by scientists and see a flash and hear a slapping sound' or 'Brush by 10 Flashing Red Lights' are present and easy enough to do most of the time, where there are also clearly long-term things like "Collect 1000 coins." or "Collect 10 Spin Tokens" added into the randomizer.  The missions are not endless, I'm assured, but there is likely a lot and it's quite a lot of fun, actually, to see them through individually.

As if my Vita needed more things to tantalize me with, between the ever-alluring Youtube and Persona 4 Golden (at least), Jetpack Joyride has ingrained itself as something that I'm just going to find myself playing sometimes.  I won't know how, but I'll certainly know the why, which is simply that the game is fun and takes no real time to enjoy, though extended play sessions are nice to get those missions accomplished and such.  Because hey, this time it wants me to get on the motorcycle and stay there for 600m, and that sounds like a challenge I can accept.  Oh, if I get three hundred more coins I can upgrade the Profit Bird!  And so on and so forth.  So if you have a Vita and you have 32 MB of space clear (seriously, it doesn't need much), do yourself a favor and grab it.  It's free (unless you need like ten thousand coins right now), it's tiny, it's pick-up-and-play and it even has trophies right off without needing them patched in like the other freemium games that are out on the Vita.  It's simple, charming fun.

An Addendum to the Final Fantasy XIII-2 Review

Something that I really worried about with the Final Fantasy XIII-2 review while I was writing it and while I wasn't writing it, since I did start it and then not get back to it for a while, was the fact that it was, indeed, a wholly negative review.  It's not something that I relished doing, that I particularly -wanted- to do in the sense that I don't like being a complete negative nancy about things as I was.  However, there's absolutely no way I -could- write anything about Final Fantasy XIII-2 other than what the review contains.  The review is simply my opinions, my judgements and my appraisals of the game, just the same as any other review I've done.  The only difference with the other reviews is that, generally, the games I reviewed that aren't Final Fantasy XIII-2 are games that I liked.  Or, in some cases, games that I absolutely adored for the parts that they were compiled of.

That is the sort of pitfall I worried about way back when I considered Reviews being something beyond the scope of what I felt comfortable doing.  Obviously, I'm not going to like every game, and we've all read enough reviews that are negative that we've simply tossed aside without a care.  The reviewer didn't get this, didn't understand that, didn't know the importance of that, the list of reasons that we use to discredit reviewers that don't like the games we like is endless and they come so easily that we don't think about it.  As the reviewer, there's no way you can back up anything you write as a reason for why you dislike a game because that's what it is - a dislike, an opinion, something that's steeped solely in your view of matters which is different from everyone else's.  In the end, I just ended up feeling a little bad about writing so negatively about Final Fantasy XIII-2 is what I'm building up to, because even though I tried to be objective, tried to steep things in objective terms, it's impossible to do that completely.

Of course, when I think about the time I spent with the game, I don't feel anything but wholly and completely justified.  It's a weird balance, I suppose, and it's a weird thing to just honestly dislike the game as much as I do, but that's what it is.  Clearly I'm not writing a review of a hot new game to inspire site hits or anything, as I literally posted the review a year late for that, and I'm not trying to use hyperbole for effect.  I just unfortunately thought the game wasn't good for reasons that exist on a mechanical level, something a little more concrete than not in the wholly wobbly situation regardless.  I would try to be constructive about it, but I already gave all my constructive ideas for Final Fantasy XIII itself - the sequel went completely in the opposite direction, so all I would say is "come back and go the -other- way" which is really kind of an obvious thing.

I guess the point I really wanted to make here is that, in all reality, I'm just bummed that I didn't like Final Fantasy XIII-2.  I was all prepped to do so, and perhaps that was part of the reason why I couldn't, but whatever the reason, my time spent with it was simply miserable and it had no reason to be.  Final Fantasy XIII was a wonderful, if flawed base to make a game from, yet XIII-2 cannibalized only a few parts and not even in complete fashion, making it so that it honestly would have been better if they just hadn't tried it in the first place.  It's rare when a sequel completely and totally underperforms its predecessor, by a measure that's clear and not a difference of opinion over trivial parts.  This was a categorical failure across the board as far as I'm concerned, and unless someone can make me see the 'truth' or inform me of just what I was doing wrong, that's all I can say about the game.  It's not fact - it can't be - but being as objective as I can be, I just can't see it any other way.

That's just a real shame.  I'm not particularly thinking Lightning Returns is going to be the redeemer either.

Review - Final Fantasy XIII-2

I hate Final Fantasy XIII-2.

There.

I said it.

It is a deep, extensive and grand loathing that I have for the game and absolutely nobody is more surprised by this than I am, I assure you.  As with its predecessor I walk away from XIII-2 in a state of utter and complete confusion, but it's not at the paradoxical feeling that I like the unlikable, but rather that I am simply confused at how anyone could claim to like XIII-2.  I am saying this literally and without exaggeration because it is something that I simply cannot comprehend - it is beyond my grasp.  I do try to be objective, I say that a lot, and I have tried and I have tried, but there's just nothing I can pull out and hang on to, hold out and say "This, this is why I think people think it's a good game.  I disagree, but that's that".  I just cannot, for the life of me, say that the game is anything other than objectively bad which is a baffling statement for me and one that I don't take lightly.

The single thing, I think, that confuses me the most about Final Fantasy XIII-2 is that, where Final Fantasy XIII might have had only three real redeeming qualities, XIII-2 doesn't even have those.  All three of XIII's redeeming qualities have been filtered through XIII-2 and came out worse off overall - something that truly astounds me.  I wish I were using some sort of wacky hyperbole, that I was being uncharacteristically harsh on something for comedic value, but I just don't get it.  It eludes me.  Like nothing else has and I just can't help but express my frustration at that because I played the game.  I languished through its 30 hours or however long it took expecting a turning point and it never came.  It was un-enjoyable, mediocre drivel all throughout and perhaps with my admittedly excessive display, I'll be able to find -someone- that can actually quantify just what I'm missing, because clearly I am missing something if I am this far away from fun when it comes to the confines of Final Fantasy XIII-2.

It is for all of those reasons that it's hard to find a spot at which to start at.  Indeed, I'm blessed with a wealth of options here and that's a rather unfortunate thing, something I certainly don't relish.  I guess the best place would be to take Final Fantasy XIII's three points and extrapolate just -how- XIII-2 manages to wobble them so spectacularly, since that's about as good of an idea as any.  It really is impressive to see, which I guess is -one- positive I can say about the game:  It is interesting to watch like a train hitting a monster truck or something similarly strange.

Where Final Fantasy XIII was downright gorgeous for most of it, XIII-2 ended up dragging a little in that department somehow.  I'm not quite sure if it was perhaps just the locals, the smaller areas, or perhaps even the NPCs which might've necessitated a little pull-back, but suffice to say, for the most part it was just "above average" in the graphics versus XIII's real astounding ones.  The lessened amount of FMVs also hurt a little bit, I'm sure since there were about a handful in XIII and they were mind-blowing.  XIII-2's -do- match up here but that's because...well, it's FMV.  It's hard to make a bad looking FMV these days, especially with Squeenix.  If they're good at anything, it's certainly making shiny sparkly FMVs that are damn gorgeous to look at.  I should stress again that the game is definitely above average, and some locales are particularly striking (The Academia that isn't a horrible flatbed of monsters, in particular), but overall it just seems to lack that polish that it really needs to get up to Squeenix standards.

Something else that suffers in the graphics department, in a sense, is the actual identity of the world in which Final Fantasy XIII-2 takes place.  Apologies for the spoilers here, but XIII-2 takes place after the events of XIII in which everyone who was on Cocoon must now make a living on Gran Pulse.  You know, that place that had monsters everywhere that were looking for ways to absolutely murder everything in sight.  Australia, in other words.  Except, Gran Pulse in XIII had its own distinct style and Cocoon had its own as well, so you sort of expect something of a blend of the two....yet it's not that at all.  The game starts in New Bodham, a settlement made by Snow and his cohorts and it's on Gran Pulse of course....yet it looks exactly like it did on Cocoon.  (Plus some buildings)  Similarly, some of the later areas look strikingly like Cocoon, yet aren't on Cocoon I guess?  And some places are meant to be -from- Cocoon or something, since nobody went to Gran Pulse before XIII-2 I think?  It gets confusing and, really that is the problem - there's no identity anymore.  You're thrust into locales, told them roughly what they are and you just swallow that because there's no sense in trying to justify them in the same world.New Bodham is established on a beach fairly near to the Crystal Pillar holding the Cocoon shell high above the planet.  Yet....300 years in the future, the Pillar is surrounded by a rainforest.  Inconsistencies that take you out of things completely run amok in the design.

More than that, the character designs, which I actually praised in XIII, got out and out ri-goddamn-diculous in XIII-2 which is par for the course I suppose, but still.  Serah's....weird....bondage get up is so goddamn out of place with everything, Fashion cycles every century or so, so people in 500 AF are wearing what people in 2 AF were wearing because 'it totally came back in style' (and not because Squeenix was too lazy to invent a new look for a new society built on the ashes of Cocoon so to speak) and Caius' outfit is beyond ridiculous.  Hell, Lightning's outfit is beyond ridiculous - fully armored top, absolutely no pants of any sort (not even her XIII shorts) and a feather half-skirt.  Noel is the only player here that isn't an abomination to look at and his style doesn't even make sense either because it's Gran Pulse style (from like a thousand years ago if Vanille/Fang are anything to go on) 600 years into the future (from the starting point of 1 AF or so).  Every other character falls into the mentioned "it's back in style!" trend except for Snow who...took off his shirt and his beanie and got his jacket kind of ripped up, which isn't bad against the other glaring things.

So, one of my main complaints about the battle system in FFXIII was that it just wasn't any fun with less than the full three-man party, and XIII insisted on putting you through about half the game without the luxury of three-man teams.  So when I say that XIII-2 gives you a third party member/slot pretty early in the game, that should mean that it's good, right?  You'd think so, right?  Well, surprise, but it's not.  The third party slot is one filled by a Monster of your choice of which there are an over-ample amount of possibilities.  Through the game, as you fight monsters, sometimes you'll gain their crystal, which allows you to summon one of their ilk to fight with you at your side.  Some monsters don't convert completely - a rather imposing behemoth early on the in game, for example, simply converts into a bog-standard behemoth and other things like that.  However, even though it sounds neat, it's hardly more than a Novelty.

Every monster has but a single class to them of the six available.  Commando, Ravager, Sentinel, Synergist, Saboteur and Medic.  There's all sorts of monsters of each type and as you might figure, some monsters are simply better than others in their class, meaning there is a 'paragon' monster for each class, if you will.  You have to use a Zubat before you can use a Pigeot, if you'll excuse the Pokemon analogy, by which I mean of course the better examples of monsters are only later in the game, and most of them in certain places only.  With a bit of training, by which I mean force-feeding materials down their throats (or equivalent) any monster can theoretically become 'useful' in battle, such as it were, but even at that, it's a little bit of an issue.  Everyone in the game, Serah and Noel and monster alike, is never set up to be a shining example of their class when compared to XIII's cast.  In a sense, I can understand that since XIII's party were basically demigods or avatars granted powers by a supreme being.  XIII-2's explanation is literally "some people were able to use magic after the fall of Cocoon", which means there's as much or as little room there as possible.  They went the latter route for some ghastly reason.

The thing that I hate about XIII-2's use of the battle system is simply that it's....too simple.  XIII's pace is fast, intense and you have to orchestrate your movements carefully for the most part, even in regular battles, if just to get a high score for a five-star rank.  None of this matters in XIII-2 - first off, don't even worry about five-starring, okay?  Or rather, did you get a pre-emptive strike?  You did?  Okay, you might get it.  You didn't?  STOP TRYING.  A majority of battles simply require a pre-emptive strike to grant you a five-star ranking which is bullshit and kills the need for anything resembling strategy, though of course, so do the piss-weak monsters.  And when I say requires a pre-emptive strike, I mean just that.  In one particular area, I was running into groups of monsters that I could defeat in two seconds.  Two.  Pre-emptive strike?  Five star!  Not pre-emptive strike?  Four star!  Same amount of time, same tactics, same damage, same everything, just that extra 2000 points (I think) from PES is all the difference.  That is ridiculous by any standard.

Another casualty to the simplification process is the very core of XIII's battle system - the Paradigm Shift.  In XIII, it was a vital tool to keep and control the flow of battle, making the tides go in your favor and seizing the moment whenever it came.  In XIII-2 it's....something you will use every now and then.  If you roll with Noel/Com, Serah/Rav and a Sentinel or Ravager monster, you will not have to do any shifting for 90% of the battles you'll encounter.  Those last 10% are, of course, boss fights and special encounters where you actually -do- have to fight to survive...sometimes.  Provided you aren't ridiculously over-levelled which only counts every now and then.  I recall vividly recounting my tale of the first encounter with Caius to a friend who played XIII-2 first.  I had accidentally grinded....a little too much in an attempt to make short work of a boss and when I reached Caius, I steamrolled over him, having wondered if it was meant to be difficult at all.  The incredulity in her responses to that knowledge was palpable and offered me a little smugness as I realized only then that it -was- supposed to be an intense, gripping fight, and that was short-lived as I realized the disappointment that creeped in with my knowing that it had been such a non-issue.

The balance that Squeenix so carefully crafted in XIII's corridors and broken doors and points of no return is nowhere to be found in XIII-2 and it's both slightly liberating and incredibly frustrating all at the same time.  That little session of grinding for that one boss encounter effectively ruined the difficulty of literally the rest of the game for me - only when I was trying to gather materials did I ever 'grind' again, which is not to say that it was the goal, but merely the side-effect.  Indeed, I eventually made it to level 99 in every class for Noel and Serah both which means most battles, I can simply let the game do what it will with the standard Com/Rav/Rav paradigm I used for 80% of the game.  Again, however, classes long became unnecessary so long as those classes weren't Synergist or Saboteur since every other class proved to be useful -sometimes- (Com/Rav/Med the most, Sentinel was still limited) but Syn/Sab are useful for precisely two fights all game...if then.  Any other time, they're honestly more of a hassle than not, which means you just won't really need to have them in your paradigm deck whatsoever now, will you?

Speaking of, the Paradigm Deck is still as limited as it was in XIII, literally one of the only hold-overs, and it's further complicated with the inclusion of the monsters.  In XIII, most characters were only useful in three particular classes, with the other three being merely tertiary.  This is something I lamented, but understood.  Thus when you were making your paradigms, you usually built around those strengths.  Those strengths don't exist in XIII-2 because there are no clear advantages for Serah and Noel in any classes (beyond, again, Commando and Ravager) so you'll probably just stick with those.  The Paradigm Pack allows you to include up to three monsters for distribution within those paradigms which means that you are technically still only working with one 'person' who is strong in only three classes.  Yet the whole thing is further complicated by every monsters individual stats which give you an extra facet to consider in your planning and the only six slots for paradigms becomes all the more limiting.  Of course, since shifting is such a non-issue, this is also not that big of a deal in theory, but as someone who wanted to at least pretend it was still good, it was incredibly infuriating.

XIII's last strong point, the characterization, is similarly wasted in XIII-2 and possibly the most spectacularly of everything here.  There is perhaps an hour of content in XIII in which Serah is not a giant crystal lawn gnome statue, and that single hour provides Serah with a much better characterization than XIII-2's entirety.  In XIII-2, she is no longer the slightly tragic, tortured soul struggling to figure out her way, but is instead a vapid, incredulous upstart who cannot retain anything and is constantly amazed by the theory that Lightning is alive in Valhalla which is a theory that she herself propagated in the first place.  She has a memory of Lightning being alive, well and certainly not a crystal at the end of XIII's events, however she is the only one with said memory as everyone else thinks Lightning is trapped inside the crystal pillar.  She knows she's right in her heart and wants nothing more than to be able to prove it.  Then....she has a dream about it being true and cannot believe it.  THEN, Noel comes out of a goddamn time gate, hands her a moogle and says "Hey, I just got this from Lightning, your sister in a place called Valhalla and I was there with Lightning and Lightning said she was your sister and that it was in Valhalla AND LIGHTNING WAS IN VALHALLA, THE PLACE I JUST WAS."

Serah doesn't know what the fuck to make of that.

That is not the last instance.  Oh lord, it is not by a large margin and it becomes more and more annoying with every time it comes up.  Eventually it culminates in a meeting with Serah and Lightning herself as you might guess.  After covering in just about every manner possible (Having the memory herself, being told by Noel who literally saw Lightning and was there with her, being told by Snow that Lightning talked to him a dream and helped him time travel, seeing fucking video footage of Lightning in Valhalla, plus others) there is Lightning, fresh from Valhalla to speak to her sister who has been looking for her all game.  Looking for a way to get to Valhalla to find Lightning.  In Valhalla.  Where Lightning is and is established to be several times in the game.

So the first thing Serah says is "You're alive?!  Where were you?!"

I understand that is a spoiler.  I am not sorry.

Noel is certainly not much better, nor is...well any character in the game.  The only other real stand-out is Caius Ballad who only transcends the rest of the cast by default and because he is voiced by Liam O'Brien who is one of the best VA dudes out there.  Caius, at the very least, has a very clear purpose all game.  Caius, at least, knows exactly how the hell to accomplish his goals.  And Caius, at least, isn't prone to asking the same goddamn questions over and over again, nor is he confused when the wind blows east or similarly insignificant things that apparently prevented the main characters from retaining very vital information for hours at a clip.  Of course, Caius is the villain of the game.  This isn't a spoiler - he is literally shown fighting Lightning (in fucking Valhalla) in the intro of the game, and is made very apparent as the antagonist from every point thereon.  He's the best character, by far, in the entire game and that's not saying much since his competition, in all reality, is only Noel and Serah who are dumb as goddamn bricks if I haven't made that abundantly clear.

"B-b-b-b-b-but at least it's not completely linear!", you say.  "You have different areas and you can go explore them at will!  For funsies!"  That is, of course, true.  I hope you enjoy the random battles you'll run into on every square inch of those wide open areas, though.  Oh?  You didn't know?  About the random battles?  Well, yes, gone are the on-field battles of XIII, replaced by a system that is so stupid I cannot even really understand it in my head now, much less when I was playing.  Apparently, monsters only show up for Serah and Noel under the guise of temporal distortions (in 98% of the cases at least) which are picked up by Mog, the ever helpful magical Moogle Macguffin and he shows up as a Mog clock that displays their time in Serah and Noel's plane of existence.  Or....shows how dizzy they are after being transported to this plane.  Or something.  I forget - it's simply a thing to explain that things show up, you hit them with your sword before they hit you with their body and you get a pre-emptive strike.  Or if you get far enough away fast enough, you can force them back to the aether from whence they came.

Worth noting is that there are maybe a dozen unique locations in the game, only their instances are copy/pasted and altered to match other timelines, sometimes in dramatic ways and sometimes not quite so much.  So, I hope you enjoy hoofing the same exact terrain three or four times over simply because this version of it is supposedly 100 years in the future and the only difference is that it's dusk and there are less barriers and for some reason different monsters entirely.  Except the monsters only show up from temporal distortions?  So who else is fighting monsters unless monsters are just constantly appearing from distortions and - okay nevermind.  Of course, some -are- dramatically different in layout and such and those are the refreshing ones.  They are also the rare ones.  They also don't stand out very much in the grand scheme of things.

This 'free-roam' concept is further exploited with a 'quest' system that literally only exists as a vessel through which the player is handed useless Macguffin collectibles that will in turn grant you other Macguffin collectibles eventually.  And most of the quests boil down to "Talk to someone, find the area they talked about and open the floating cube that has only since spawned there to get item, take back to person" affairs which, again, have you contend with the random encounters that show up out of nowhere for no discernible reason.  That you have to fight using a severely hampered battle system that offers nothing in terms of enjoyment nor reward unless you hit a Pre-Emptive strike.  Which you won't have because most of the time you'll have just tried to run away from the fight because the battle system is no fun.  Problems compounding problems compounding problems - that is the name of the game in XIII-2.

No matter what, as is the order of things, you are still rail-roaded into different time periods and alternate histories eventually regardless.  And should you go anywhere beyond those areas, your only reasons are to grind or to work on quests, meaning there's not a whole lot of worth in that free-roaming.  Unless you're going to Serendipity, the Casino resort on the outside of time's constraints in which you can play slot machines and race chocobos....and play a card game if you buy some DLC.  Literally, attempting to play at the card tables will instruct you to keep your eyes out for Downloadable Content that will unlock that feature.  It's more than a little on-the-nose.  And slot machines are just as frustrating as they are in literally every other game that includes them for reasons that are beyond my comprehension since gambling in video games is as fruitless, if not more, as real life.  So of course, 100% completion -and- a separate trophy (for 100% trophy list) relies solely on winning at the slot machines.  Which relies on chance - giving you absolutely nothing to tip the scales in your favor.

That...is pretty much everything, I should say.  I covered why the story sucks, why the characterization sucks, why the battle system sucks and why the game has literally -not- improved on XIII in any way.  I understand that, to a point, it's merely my opinion, but even objectively, I can't see it.  The battle system has been nerfed considerably - there's no argument there.  It would be like if Dark Souls 2 suddenly let you block endlessly, never taking your stamina for the pleasure.  It is a subtle change but it would completely wreck the entirety of the fun of the game as XIII-2's lack of emphasis on Paradigm Shifts has done.  Gone also are the concepts of fal'Cie and l'Cie in XIII-2, taking out the singular interesting, non-character-related story element from XIII.  What's left is a silly time travel story that makes absolutely no sense at any single point in time (ha!) with characters that would have more depth if they were printed out on a sheet of paper.  That is Final Fantasy XIII-2.

The Good

• Caius Ballad is a pretty good character
• Caius Ballad is voiced by Liam O'Brien
• ...
• Caius.  Liam O'Brien

The Bad

• The story is nonsensical and poorly told
• The characterization is flimsy and barely even attempted
• The Battle system has been made less fun by making Paradigm Shifting a tertiary tactic, rather than a core mechanic
• Monster collecting should be fun, but instead it's tedious and reliant entirely on luck
• Serendipity.  'Nuff said
• Seriously, Serah is like the worst character in anything
• One area, Academia 400 AF, I believe, plays party to the literal worst section in any RPG ever thanks to the stupid Random Encounters and narrow, terrible map design
• The entire Caius arc hinges on Serah and Noel being too stupid to use common sense (Spoiler: it works)
• Random Encounters
• Did you read the review?  Literally like everything about the game

Mogs Says

Final Fantasy XIII-2 is a shallow, vapid romp through forgettable scenery with terrible protagonists playing out a stupid story that never gets off the ground and simultaneously never makes sense.  I can only fathom a guess as to how anyone found it enjoyable, and that guess would be that it is a fairly easy game with above average graphics that lets you collect monsters for seemingly no reason.  There is, however, nothing that screams 'quality' from the title, no matter how hard I really, truly tried to hear it.  'Disappointing' is not the word to use, but it conveys the gist well enough.

LittleBigThings: Of Karting and Sackthings

I don't think I've ever really understood Kart racers from any vantage point.  While I've certainly played some and I did enjoy a few whilst playing them, it was all brief, lasting only as long as the controller was in my hand if that.  So when the intent expressed with LittleBigPlanet Karting was "Let's give the guys who made ModNation Racers (that was considered 'alright' at best) a chance to make another Kart Racer, just with LittleBigPlanet this time!" I experienced something of a tepid excitement - certainly not the extent I would have had for something else, anything else, involving the LittleBigPlanet franchise.  Still, it had to be something I could embrace, I could come to love and enjoy, right?  It says LittleBigPlanet after all, right there on the tin.  I love LittleBigPlanet, so I should love this!

I'm....not quite sure.

LittleBigPlanet Karting certainly is a LittleBigPlanet game in more than just name, supposing that being a platformer is not intrinsically what LittleBigPlanet is.  With all the varied types of levels and, indeed games that have been made with LittleBigPlanet in its various releases that stretch beyond platforming, LittleBigPlanet has grown itself into something that just is itself, I suppose.  While Super Mario is certainly a loftier series, one can draw a comparison - games which Mario are in are, by extension, Mario games because of the inclusion, because the inclusion is in itself more than just Mario.  By that measure, LittleBigPlanet games are games in which you are given a Sackboy to control, a popit to interact with, a mode with which you can build to your hearts content and all the charm and Stephen Fry tutorials you could ever want.  LittleBigPlanet Karting has all that, in spades even, and in fact more than that, sticking to the world-based, level-based formula that has worked with every game that's released thus far, further cementing it as a LittleBigPlanet game and thus easing you into the change.  Or perhaps trying to have you accept that it's not so much a change as it is another possibility.

Still, under the charm, under the Sackboys and Sackgirls, under the Create Mode and under the familiarity, the game is still a Kart Racer and not much else.  It does a good job of presenting various types of -things- to do within the setting of a Kart, however, which gives me hope for the levels or tracks or games or whatever they're supposed to be called that players have made between the release and now.  Battle Mode seems like a ripe field to use for Create, given that you get to simply establish an area and have your Sackfolk faff around in it however you like, as I imagine we're not -all- interested in actually making Racetracks.  Depending on the 'restrictions' in place for making a level of a Battle Mode type, as it were, it could be incredibly rich and diverse and I look forward to seeing if anyone has managed to tap into that sort of thing when I eventually get to the created levels/tracks/games/whatever.  Story first, however, as is the case with any LittleBigPlanet game.

Though there is another mode that certainly tugs a little more at the creative urges than Battle Mode, if only in a "Hrm, this isn't set up for it properly, but wouldn't that be neat" type of way.  I encountered a Gran Prix race towards the end of the first world which is another beast entirely.  Eschewing the competitiveness of other players and even the allure of third-person view, Grand Prix mode is a first person race unlike anything else in LittleBigPlanet Karting.  Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) you do not see your kart at all, yet you are definitely in First-Person mode and in the race I was in, it was a simple enough affair, if that it had a restriction to it that forced pit stops to refuel (which is unseen in the rest of the game).  Regardless, a mode, any mode that allows First-Person perspective is absolutely blessed for opportunity and, provided the boundaries to making a Grand Prix level are a little lax, one could find that it might be possible to do some absolutely wondrous things that couldn't, in fact, be in place in any other LittleBigPlanet game.

The problem is that, if you've noticed, I've simply talked about what the game -can- be, possibly, instead of what it is beyond saying "well, it's a Kart racer".  It is a fun game, really, and I don't have much issue with it, but racing games as a whole are a hard sell to me and even with a LittleBigPlanet coat of paint, I'm finding the game a little hard to be truly excited for.  That can change, of course, as I'm only in the second world of the game and already I've found plenty of neat things to hold my interest.  Already I'm looking to the next Story-based Battle Mode track because I had a lot of fun with the first, and I still wonder if there's anything that the game has yet to really show off, because I certainly wouldn't be surprised if it did.  If nothing else, I am holding my arms out, waiting for the tender embrace of exuberance, and even if I'm left by the wayside by it, at least I considered it an option.

New Years Stats Time!

Do you like numbers?  Well, if you do (Like I do) you're going to love this post!  This year, much like last year, I'm going to share some specific numbers about Kupowered, if just because I -can-.  I certainly don't know if anyone's interested, but I think it's fun to do and it's my blog after all, so I'll do it if I like.  And I do.  So I do it.  It's been a trying year to say the least, so actually sitting down and looking at these numbers will be something that I'm doing for the first time as I write this, which I think makes it partly more fun for me since this is all new to me.  I get to look at the numbers and then figure out a way with which to express them in a way that isn't just A, B, C.  Or at least a little -more- entertaining a version of A, B, C like the last years post was.

The first glaring number that stands out is 2012's post count total - 307.  A full year's posts would have been 365 and my post count last year was 349, a whole 42 posts more.  Still going by the "Every other day" rule of 183 posts (which I fell on a lot this year), I'm still up by 124 posts which, hey, I think is pretty respectable.  It's not 165 like last yeah, but the fact that I actually have two years to compare to one another is a miracle unto itself, I should say.  This is the part where I start wishing I could break down views by year but that's simply not offered in Blogger's overview (or if it is, I'm struggling to find it), so I'll just have to update the All-Time views which will account for, you know....All-Time.  Last year and the year before.  (I'm just realizing that it is technically 2013 so Whoops)  Still, that'll be neat because it'll still give me numbers to compare it to since I guess I just filter out the differences and that'll be the year not accounted for.  You know, with math.

Coming in at the top of the All Time posts is once again "Really Tired", which if you missed me explaining it last year, was simply me being silly and doing a silly post about dragons.  Silly posts are fun, but I don't intend to do them all the time even though that one ended up being rather popular because of a particular picture used in it.  Its post count currently sits at 5,071, up from 4,069 from last year's review meaning it's only been viewed 1,002 times last year.  Only.  "Guilty Pleasures - Yakuza 4's Hostess Maker" is still second with 739 views, up from 290 last year, meaning it's been viewed 449 times in 2012 - not bad at all.  Third place is where 2012 shone, though, with "Zone of the Enders 3 is a Thing in Development" coming in at 590 views for 2012 alone, simply because it was -in- 2012 only.  I believe I can safely say that means it was the highest viewed post of 2012.  Second to receive that honor was "Kupowered's 501st Post" which came in at 248 views for some reason!  Overall, that post came in 7th, however, behind "inFamous 2 - My Thoughts on the Story and Endings (Spoilers)" at 547 views, "What Went Wrong - Innocent Life: A Futuristic Harvest Moon" at 414 views and "The Regular Show is Pretty Great" at 399 views.  Because 400 views would just be too easy.

Trying to use the Page View Graph this year is just as unfeasible as last year, perhaps even more so, so unfortunately, I won't be doing a month-by-month thing since, well, I have no idea when those are properly updated.  Trying to navigate the graph takes me from January 2011 to February 2012 which....isn't correct, so, yeah, it's a bit silly.  Raw numbers will suffice.  My "Pageviews Last Month" figure comes up as 2,457 views, which I suppose might be for the full month of December, or like half of November and half of December or something.  I bring that up solely because that figure is higher than any single month presented in last years figures (the highest being 2,297 views) which means it's about in line with things so I'm keeping steady.  Or, rather, perhaps 'last month' was a low month because my All-Time Pageview History number now sits at 46,580, a full 29,751 views more than last year and, in fact 12,922 views more than last years All Time History of 16,829.  This is where I wish I knew how to do percents so I could figure what percentage growth that is, but looking at the numbers just says "a lot" which is pretty cool nonetheless.

Clicking on the Audience tab brings up something rather surprising in the sense that things have sort of shifted via countries that view Kupowered.  Like, dramatically.  America is still at the top with a whopping 19,799 views (up from 7,987 last year or an increase of 11,812 views), but Russia came out of friggin' nowhere at second place with 5,589 views (up from 485 last year for a 5,104 view increase) which...should I be worried about that?  I don't know.  The United Kingdom pulls up third with 2,210 views (up from 892 last year for a 1,318 view increase) and it's not until we get to fourth place that Canada finally shows up at 2,155 views (up from 1,123 views for a 1,032 increase).  If you're interested in the rest, the full list is as follows:  (Country - Pageviews - Increase):  America - 19,799 - 11,812, Russia - 5,589 - 5,104, United Kingdom - 2,210 - 1,318, Canada - 2,155 - 1,032, Austalia - 1,576 - 695, Germany - 875 - 411, Indonesia - 775 - 636, Brazil - 606 - 470, Ukraine - 436 - 302, and France - 430 - N/A.  All this only adds up to 34,451 Views, so the rest of the  12,129 views is smattered across other nations in smaller numbers.  Firefox again is the most used browser at 19,171 (or 42%) of views, with Chrome and Internet explorer switching places this year at 11,398 (25%) and 9,162 (20%) respectively.  Windows is still the most widespread OS to be used to view at 34,413 (75%) where Linux has bumped up a little, coming in at 6,296 (13%).  Mac at 2,133 (4%) is the only other number to brag about with Android and iPhone representing 1% each with 872 and 634 respectively and the remaining five of iPad, iPod, PSP, PS3 and BlackBerry are all <1% with 350, 260, 179, 178 and 168 in order.

I haven't really made many new 'types' of posts since last year with the notable exception being, appropriately, "Gaming By The Numbers" of which I only have two posts for - Dynasty Warriors Next and Trails in the Sky.  These posts are basically just ones in which I take a game and turn it into full-on Number Porn somehow, either talking about the hours of time needed to do something specific, or just how easy it is to do something, taking into account the most 'profitable' means with which to do it.  Or you know, whatever.  It's number porn so it's about numbers in whatever form I can take them in.  Somewhat like -this- post and the last year's review, I should say.  Most everything else has been either a stand-alone thing, or part of a 'type' I established the first year, which is just fine, I think.  I don't need to make a whole bunch of different things for my posts to fit into and I probably established the most that I'll need in the first year, though there's always the future to tell.

Compared to 2011's three reviews, I did a surprising nine in 2012, which is still a really small number, but considering the amount of work that goes into every review, it's not something that I can do all the time unfortunately.  Those reviews are, in order of post date:  Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, Alpha Protocol, Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky, Resistance: Burning Skies, Kenka Bancho: Badass Rumble, Sound Shapes, Gravity Rush, Assassin's Creed: Revelations and  Final Fantasy XIII.  Obviously, I linked them in case you wanted to check them out again (or for the first time, if you've missed them) and if not then at least it's nice to keep these things together for something in the future.  That number would have been ten, but alas, I still haven't finished the likely vitriolic review for Final Fantasy XIII-2 which is unfortunate, but that's just how these things go sometimes.  Still rather impressive for me, I think.

I imagined if I tried, I could pick up a few of some posts that I really liked this year (since I can't play Favorites), but really, I'm pretty happy with them all.  If anything, I remember the Gaming by the Numbers posts more than the rest for the simple fact that they were number porn posts and those are ultimately really fun to write.  While it's still recent, I do also still remember the two posts I made for a concept I dubbed a 'MoveShock' which is a theoretical controller that would combine a DualShock with two Move wands, offering a 'best of both worlds' scenario where one could expect to use both methods of input simultaneously instead of giving up one for the other.  I've rarely been as excited at a prospect as I was with that, and while I doubt it's going to happen, it's still nice to dream.  Because honestly, it's a pretty cool concept if it would work in the scenarios I put forth.

And that's about it for 2012.  It was apparently a year of highs and lows, but while I didn't like the year, it was still a rather productive one, all-told.  Hopefully 2013 will be a better year, both in me keeping up with posts and just....you know, being a better year.  It's got a chance as it is now, but it's only two days old so, well, a little early to be wondering, I suppose.  If you've read this and enjoyed it, then I thank you and I hope you'll stick around for the posts as they come this year.  I mean, again, number porn so your mileage may vary, but I certainly had fun with it!  Here's to 2013 kicking 2012's ass in all the relevant facets!

Starting on a Positive Note

Well, I am in a better mood tonight.  I was actually going to do a stats post and started it (I now have three posts that are just drafts and I feel -so lazy- now) but I am going to save that for tomorrow.  Hopefully.  Tonight, I'm just busy being overwhelmed by Persona 4 Golden that I literally spent the better part of like two hours if not more gushing over it with my buddy Haplo.  He's only experienced Persona 4 vanilla, but the experience is universal regardless, so long as I don't speak of the many many improvements Golden has made, thus tempting him further towards a Vita purchase.  (Because it honestly seems like there were a -lot- of things added and they're all fantastic.)  Regardless of whether it's Golden or Vanilla, it's a rather fantastic experience nonetheless.

Last night really wasn't so bad, in perspective, it's just that I let a years worth of negativity come crashing down on me over a catalyst that, really, wasn't so bad.  It was a little bad, sure, but things are what you make of them, and I've made it positive now.  Hopefully soon, I'll be making it more positive with someone.  That....was meant to sound nice...not weird.  I'm keeping it, though.  I don't mind coming off a little silly because I'm in a good mood.  A persistent one, which is strange considering the recent trend.  I'm hoping that keeps going - keeps on a straight line because I've been miserable when I'm down and only tepidly happy when I've been up.  It's been a real problem.

It's a new year, though.  A new start.  I've got a real chance at something good, something overwhelmingly positive and it's growing more and more as I look at it and think about it.  With it comes a confidence, a decisiveness I didn't know I had that makes my mood rise more and more.  I talk with excitement, with happiness and passion a lot I like to think, and while that's real, this feels like something on a whole other level.  There's really not a whole lot I can say about it here, because it's not something I can fully elucidate, that I can form coherently into words that can fully appreciate this, but I'm sure the gist makes it clear to you.  It's certainly something to celebrate, however, and something to make the start of a New Year seem like a very bright thing.

Is it silly to attribute some of this to Persona 4 Golden, though?  I'm not quite sure.  It certainly compliments my mood well, adds a little bit of extra goodness to it, if you will.  Like a fine wine next to the best meal you've ever eaten - it's a supplement to the experience and only makes it sweeter, but it is lovely without it anyways.  The game is certainly wonderful enough - I can understand how and why some people claim it as one of their favorite games of all time; why others consider it a paragon of RPGs, because all that praise is certainly not misplaced.  Thankfully, I'm not done with it just yet, but I imagine even when I do beat it, I'm just going to jump back into it once more, doing a NG+ run that I will actually finish, unlike P3P.  I just enjoy it that much.

Happy New Year, folks.  For real this time.