An Intermission of Demon's Souls

Remember all those times when I said "I'm going to play Demon's Souls soon"?  No?  Because they were a long damn time ago?  Yeah, I hear you.  Under the weight of my new PS3 games that I got for Christmas, I felt something of an....well, not an obligation, but a want to clear off a few games from my backlog that have been sorely neglected before I leap into the new.  At the urging of a good friend (well, she was on my back about playing the game for a couple months....a couple months ago) I decided it was finally time to step back into the stone halls and stunning terrain of Boletaria to attempt to conquer the seemingly-insurmountable challenges the small kingdom has to offer me.  Even with something very much like hesitation, wariness, I trudged in to face the dangers head-on.

Compared to the last time I 'played' Demon's Souls, I can honestly say that I have been playing Demon's Souls this time.  Actually playing it.  Actually understanding the nuances, the methodology to it and the caution that one must take to actually enjoy the game.  I rolled a new character - rather a new attempt at Mikhail Metzin(g)er - as a wizard build, understanding that magic would be an invaluable tool and set upon the task of getting settled.  The tutorial section re-familiarized me with the controls of the game and dumped me unceremoniously into the lair of the Vanguard who killed me with a single swipe before I had a chance to do much else but let a flaming shot loose which did a respectable amount of damage nonetheless.  Dropped now into the Nexus, I did what I must - spoke with the folks there before I took the Archstone to the Castle for my real reinitiation.

The beginning section was familiar to me in a hazy sort of way and as the shambling undead rushed at me, I was able to take them out handily enough.  Their ambushes, slight as they might be, were still etched into my brain so not a one of them was successful in surprising me.  In fact, my first demise came after I had explored a goodly bit of the whole area - my only ways 'forward' ended in Dragons or a Red Eyed Knight with a Shield and Spear, both of which set off warning alarms in my head, thus giving me cause to search elsewhere.  I just so happened to fall off the side of a wall into a pit of no less than four rather nasty looking enemies - at least one of which was a Blue Eye Knight, and I discovered that being surrounded had a direct impact on my health and ability to survive, especially when I dodge-rolled directly into a wall.  That's a reasonable thing, I should think, so I made my way back there with great haste, retrieved my souls and added a little fire to the equation to even the odds.

The second time I met my death was when, frustrated by a lack of a clear path (believing that I was in no way able to outrun the Dragon on the bridge - you know which I'm I'm talking about), I decided the Red Eyed Knight was the foe I had to slay to advance.  How hard could he be?  After all, he just seemed like the other enemies I fought, just with red eyes.  So I advanced to his perch and rushed in, swinging the Scimitar I had acquired in my pit of death at him.  The damage was minimal and I rose my shield to block his incoming strike.  Not -only- did it eat the rest of my stamina, but it took off all but a sliver of my health.  Panic gripped me for the scant few moments I had left as I rushed back, switched to my wooden catalyst and threw a fire spell at him.  Surely, he just blocked the other attack, that's why the damage was so light.  But no, he shrugged off the fire as if it were nothing and completed a charge by skewering me through.  I had been bested and for that, I meekly returned to grab my souls and be on my way.

Getting across the bridge was dicey, but I learned that it was the necessary thing to do and I moved on, eventually finding myself at the entrance of the Phalanx's lair.  I put down my first message, the stand-by "I'm in trouble - please recommend this message!" for what it was worth and stepped through the fog to meet the blob of black and spears that was the Phalanx.  For being rather unimposing, it did have a sort of creeping doom feel to it, one that hit home as spears hit me from all directions, chipping away at my precious, precious HP.  When my MP reserves were well and truly depleted from the Fire Tossing I'd been doing, I steeled my resolve and rushed in, attacking the fleshy underside of what was once a black ooze of a behemoth, finding it a rather simple affair now that most of the Hoplites that had been adhered to it were defeated.  Applying a little turpentine to my blade, I slashed again and again, finally rending the foe for the last time, and just like that, I had won my first boss fight.

A tension that has not gripped me since I played Dead Space last had a firm grasp on my chest and after doing a little more advancement - finding the lone knight in the catacombs of the castle wall for a second time and dodging the Dragon's assaults until I found yet another fog wall - I was done.  Rather, I couldn't continue playing, for there was a weariness settling in after the pure adrenaline and focus that had been pumping through my veins had finally left me.  I returned to the Archstone, learned a little history from the last Guardian within the Nexus and buffed my stats a little thanks to the now-present Maiden in Black.  While I did go out and test them out, I eventually returned once more and ended my journey for the day.  If nothing else, Demon's Souls makes it feel like an accomplishment when you realize you've only died a few times playing it, and I look forward to challenging the next leg of the journey.  I suspect I might be shooting down a certain dragon if just to make my life a little easier.

So, I Started Demon's Souls

All at once, it was everything I expected, yet completely different than I anticipated, and I'm left feeling a little mixed about it all.  Demon's Souls is a brand of difficult that you simply cannot fathom until you've experienced it for yourself and even then, it's hard to condense into words.  It's even harder to form sentences elegantly with those words in a way that sufficiently expresses the 'Demon's Souls Experience' as it were, but I feel like I have to try it anyway.  At least, I -want- to try it, which is surprising and expected all at once as well.  In all reality, that's kind of what Demon's Souls is, or what it engenders - seemingly opposite things being used in the same breath as a valid form of explanation.

I honestly kind of hate Demon's Souls, but at the same time I think I will come to like it as something very very special.

My first experience with Demon's Souls is likely not my own, in fact, but the same experience so many first-time players have had.  I spent about fifteen to twenty minutes crafting the face of Mikhail Metzinger (Unfortunately, the character limit forced me to reduce this to Metziner), set him in the minimal garb of Barbarian because I liked the look of its Strength and Magic stats and started.  Just past the introduction, I began, stumbling through the controls in the tutorial area comprised of what I can only assume are practice dummies that can walk and, should you do absolutely nothing, kill you because that is, indeed, how Demon's Souls rolls.  I wandered without direction other than the path that seemed correct and eventually stepped through the veil that took me to the area with Vanguard, that which instantly makes what type of game Demon's Souls is obvious.

Harkening back to the olden days, Vanguard is a foe that you are not -supposed- to defeat, but despite this you may yet have a chance.  Personally, I died with a single hit to him, but I've heard tell that it is possible to kill him at that tender, starting point.  Wherein most games, you would have some sort of reward at this point for doing that which is 'impossible', the reward for doing such a thing in Demon's Souls, or so I've been told, is a foe even stronger, even deadlier.  You see, Demon's Souls wants to kill you.  And it will succeed, one way or another.  Now, I could say that this is because the game has a reason for this, which is to introduce you to the Nexus and to the core mechanics of the game itself, and that might be part of it, but make no mistake, it is not the whole truth of it.  Demon's Souls simply wants you to die.  Over and over again.  And over and over and over again.

I was not so ignorant of Demon's Souls to find the death to Vanguard surprising; in fact I expected it.  I welcomed it, for it was the initiation.  The trial by fire necessary to steep you down into the mechanics and into the game proper.  I had hungered for that moment for longer than I had realized and when it came, it was swift and it was sweet.  I had a moment of revelry alongside the game because it meant that it had now officially started and I was free to enjoy it as the vast majority of the internet insisted that I should, that I would.  After an unfortunate false start with Boldwin (I, er, didn't realize hitting the crates next to him would also -hit him-) I began with the archstone and went to the first real level.  That's when the enjoyment of the game came crashing to a halt.

In, again, what I imagine is not an experience solely of my own, I steeled the first section rather easily, expecting the soldiers to burst from the wooden blockades along the edges of the area and meeting them with brute force, the crush of wood against flesh, followed by looting those that bore anything and moving on to the next one.  At the giant doors, I went left as is the only way a new player can go, and a message emblazoned on the ground gave a rather cryptic message:  "Beware of an ambush" with a fairly decent rating.  I believed it, and, after a few moments of waiting, figured there was no such thing, at least not right here, and crushed the nearby barrels, hungry for hidden loot.  And it was then that a crossbow bolt to Mikhail's spine lead to his first non-Vanguard death.

That was fine.  Whatever, it was a death, if I'm going to play the game, I have to become immune to these things.  So I got back to the spot of my death with ease and charged down the alleyway, spotting the crossbowman early enough this time.  I circled around up the platform and clubbed his face in, finding a macabre satisfaction in the action and turned that same thirst to the two soldiers in the area.  Well, rather, -one- soldier, as the other unfortunately threw himself down the convenient pit of doom right next to this raised platform.  Entering the building nearby, I moved past the table to engage the soldier that showed up, but the ambusher from behind caught me off-guard and in my haste to try and maneuver myself in prime position to take them both out, I accomplished the exact opposite and met my demise once more.

This cycle repeated again and again - I would get further in and die, find my body and get further in, and as I did, my frustration grew.  This wasn't a challenge, this was trial-and-error; throwing yourself off a roof again and again to find where the ground was softest.  Eventually, however, after fighting a knight enemy atop a castled area with catapults and going through the fog beyond, only to die because I stood too close to an exploding barrel that I couldn't see until a thrown firebomb was an inch away from it, this was when I found my breaking point.  Filled with a bloodlust that could not be sated, I rushed the first grunt in the starting area and clubbed him across the face at the tail-end of a charge.....only to have my weapon break.  Unable to do anything beyond use it, which went as well as you can imagine, I died right there as three more grunts sought vengeance for their slain comrade and they found it in my rather untimely death.  Having lost all those souls, including those from killing that Knight-looking fellow twice, I was done.

Infuriated, I turned off the game, and turned to people who knew the game, recanting my tale to them and finding no solace in their words that this was normal.  Already, I knew it was and it offered no amount of comfort, nothing to soothe the pure -rage- at what I saw as design stuck too far in the past.  Because I didn't see it as a challenge, but simply tedious - You go until you die, find your body and use that knowledge to get a little further.  Again, it's not playing, it's merely throwing yourself at a wall until it breaks and it's not fun.  Of course, that was thinking grown out of frustration and I don't really think I consider that to be my final opinion on the game.  In fact, not but half an hour after I quit the game, I felt the urge to get back into it, which I've stemmed since that night, mostly by enjoying Just Cause 2 when that game isn't throwing entire fleets of helicopters down my throat for blowing up a fucking propaganda wagon are you serious I just obliterated two entire military bases and you get pissy when I blow up a van in a town?!  But I will get back into it.  Mikhail's journey is not over, not even close.

I Am Obsessed with Making Characters Pt. 2

So, I was talking with Saki-Chan, as I do a lot you'll notice, last night and I brought up my ever-shifting plans for starting up Demon's Souls.  Instead of saying 'this week' or 'soon', I'm just going to say 'eventually' now, since a lot just....gets in the way.  Like me seeing a chance to get Dynasty Warriors 7's Platinum trophy and taking the opportunity even though it, much like other Japanese Games with Trophies, isn't so much difficult to get, so much as it's time-consuming to say the least.  I'm really really close, though, and the trophies I have left (5, though one is the Platinum) will sort of fall in line with another.  As in, when I get one, I should get another, and the same with the other pair, or it should be a little closely related, at least.  They should be a sweep rather than individual mountains themselves, is what I'm getting at.

Anyways, one of the big things that gets in my way when I'm going to start a game where you customize your character is that I never know what I want my character to be, going in.  Unless it's territory I've already navigated, ala Final Fantasy Tactics, because then I generally have the gist.  But when I start a game, I don't know what's going to be good, what's not, and while that's supposed to be half the fun, and you're not really supposed to let power-gaming get in the way, I....well, sometimes, I do.  And it's not even that aspect of the character all the time; sometimes it's more that I just don't know -what- to make the character, appearance-wise.  That was my big tripping point with White Knight Chronicles, as I went into the game -knowing- I had to make an Avatar, but never really thinking about it and then when I was in the Creator, I spent about an hour or more dicking around with it to see what I liked, didn't like, etc. and eventually ended up with an elf-looking guy with green hair.

I'm not disappointed with my character or anything, of course, and I always intended on remaking him when I got back into the game (eventually), but that was always going to be -something-.  A lot of people know or have 'identities' in mind when they go ahead and make something, but I rarely ever do.  Until now, since I actually made up a plan for the next few games I'll play that involve customizing a character.  Unfortunately, that only really pertains to Demon's Souls and Final Fantasy Tactics for now (remember when I said I might have 'extra' characters?  Spoiler alert:  I'm going to.)  This is all kind of ironic with the knowledge that I've professed to enjoying creating characters out of nothing before, and I still enjoy it, but I'm finding that it becomes more and more difficult to do the more I do it, since I end up not.....caring, I guess would be the word.  Not that you're supposed to 'care' about a digital avatar in any way that matters to anything, but I'm sure we all do sometimes.

So I ended up talking it over some more with Saki-Chan and I brought it up to her that I made a character 'family' a while back, mostly for funsies, in the context of a Final Fantasy Tactics time/setting, and that I thought it would be a neat idea to draw from that and expand that family to work out my character issues.  This way, I'll always have a design in mind and will always be able to make a character that A) I 'get' and don't have to feel out a personality for and B) have my own little 'developments' for the characters so that if I ever get to really writing again, I might be able to draw from those scenarios, since, well, I'll be able to really have something done out, rather than making a whole structure on my own, which might, admittedly, leave a little bit lacking.

Where I'm going with all this is that it means, when I finally do start Demon's Souls in that timeline of "eventually", I'll be able to make -my- character and get right into id without worrying about it and playing around for an hour to eventually make something that I have no idea about.  I won't be making a 'elf-looking guy with green hair' that I then have to figure on in my head for my own personal reasons (of enjoying making 'characters' in the sense that they are characters with histories and personalities); I'll be making Mikhail Metzinger, eldest son of the Metzinger clan.  He's going to be a Mage, possibly dabbling with stabbing dudes, and he's going to be awesome.

Likewise, the 'extra' character I'm already planning for in my FFT game is the character I initially planned the Family out for, which is its youngest member; Minerva Metzinger.  When I made her, it was mostly a play off the character of Marion Siegbahn from Valkyria Chronicles 2 since, let's face it, she's one of the best characters in the entire game.  I like to think she's evolved a bit beyond that and I don't really want to get into the big scope of it, since it's something I'm working on, but I'm pretty happy with the character, and with the amount of 'work' I put into making her family 'make sense'.  Don't be surprised if I don't talk about her in the next FFT update, however, since my main focus lies with the main team still and the 'extra' people probably won't show up until I have everyone more or less on their Master Path, to keep levels and progress as close as possible.

I still have a stable of about four other characters I can use at any point in the future when presented with customization, so I can't wait to actually get more chances.  I'm sure I'll end up detailing them here, even if it does nothing more than make myself happy with the amount of work I'm able to put into making fake things that, in the end, don't really matter or make up a lot.  Unless I end up writing about them and having a proper story made or something like that.  Then that would be something to, er, be 'happy' with, I'm sure.