I Wish Star Wars: The Force Unleashed Hadn't Been Terrible

As it happens, apparently, I've been watching a Let's Play for Star Wars: The Force Unleashed (Protip:  Apparently the Youtube App on Vita cares not for Copyright flags) and it has reminded me about the game that I played and Platinum'd so long ago.  The Force Unleashed is one of those games that I had such, such high hopes for despite not really caring much for Star Wars, the lore involved, or having common sense.  Obviously, the game was never going to be good, but we could always hope that it wasn't going to be terrible and depending on how you look at it, it kind of wasn't.  It did some things very well and by and large, those things that it did well were the ones that mattered, but...well, it just wasn't enough.

The Force Unleashed, to me, is basically just another go at the Psi-Ops:  The Mindgate Conspiracy formula, and for anyone who's been here since the beginning, you know that I love me some friggin Psi-Ops.  It's got all the components:  a slip-shod excuse of a story that gives you amazing superpowers, the mentioned amazing superpowers and a wholly inadequate secondary method of attack that the game forces you to rely on more and more as it goes on, effectively killing its own fun by virtue of not understanding that amazing superpowers are why you are playing it.  It's an allusion that I cannot help but make anytime I talk about The Force Unleashed, because it's indelibly true in my brain and absolutely nothing's going to change that.  Because I can back it up with more words!

One of the core mechanics of The Force Unleashed is Force Grip which allows you to pick up objects, people and everything in between and hurl them and/or just manipulate them using your mind the Force.  It is unabashed fun since there's really no science to it - you don't just move things, but rather can throw things at high speeds and they flail about in mid-air until they collide painfully with a wall or another person or the bleak vacuum of space or something flammable which promptly explodes because it's awesome.  While you're holding someone up in the air with your mind the Force, they're more or less at your mercy (some enemies can regain their senses and take shots at you while they're hovering in mid-air) leaving you open to do all sorts of fun stuff like throw your lightsaber through their gut or shock them with Force Lightning.  You cannot set them on fire, however, which is unfortunate.  Now, if you'll allow me to pull a paragraph from the linked post that I assure you has nothing to do with what I just said.

"Yes, the ability to move objects, as well as people, with your mind. Also a hand gesture.  As slightly pictured above, we see Nick holding up one of the soldiers up with his mind and his hand.  (I'll stop that now.)  Of course, the main fun with this power is that you do not simply -move- people and objects, should you desire.  Oh, no no no, what you can do is pick up a soldier on one end of the room and, with a simple flick of the control stick and letting go of the TK button, and launch him at a fellow soldier on the other end of the room.  What you can do, is pick up an explosive barrel and launch it with enough force at a group of soldiers that it breaks every law of physics (as explosive barrels are wont to do) and explodes, leaving them a heap of charred ex-opposition.  What you can do, is rush into a fight and simply throw everything not bolted down at whoever or whatever you wish, destroying everything without firing a single bullet from any of the guns you (needlessly) carry."

-Regarding Telekinesis in Psi-Ops:  The Mindgate Conspiracy (Post here again)

So yes, I realize that I'm just silly and that there are actually -no real comparisons or allusions that one can draw from one game to the next- but allow me my mania, if you will.  Much like Psi-Ops, The Force Unleashed has a secondary combat option (secondary to the Force, that is) which is your lightsaber combat.  And you think "But it's a fucking lightsaber, how is that not the coolest thing ever" and it's very simple.  The reason it's not the coolest thing ever is because it's incredibly clunky and half-done.  Much like the gunplay in Psi-Ops.  The games were very clearly built around the awesome superpowers you're given from the get-go, with the tertiary combat options included for those brief moments when you don't actually have Force/Psychic energy to spam your awesome superpowers.  The lightsaber, contrary to what you've been told, does not cut through everything (I'm imagining a re-imagined The Force Unleashed with REVENGEANCE-style cutting and oh god, my pants) and in fact doesn't cut a whole lot of things!  Also a good grip of the enemies have a lightsaber or equivalent meaning you don't just automatically win because you can theoretically cut them in half like it's no big deal.  Compare that to the amount of enemies that you can reliably send flying at 60 mph with Force Grip for a huge chunk of damage, and you can see why it's less favorable.

So of course, during the middle of the game and through the end of it, several enemies develop resistances to your Force powers because fuck you.  Some troopers absorb your Force Lightning somehow and actually become stronger for it, some troopers just cannot be Force Gripped and so on and so forth.  So you're basically stuck stunning them with the environment and slapping them with lightsaber combos until they die and it's inordinately boring.  I understand that, as a Video Game, they have to pretend that there's a sort of thing as scaling and balance, but on the other hand, you're a fucking Sith.  For half of it.  Then a Jedi for the other half even though you're not really a Jedi until like the last level because of the way the shitty plot is structured and paced.  The point is, you're the equivalent of a force of nature in the game, so trying to throw balance and scaling at you is akin to madness without some appropriate method of doing so.  And sorry but, "Stormtroopers with cool armor" is not appropriate.

Really, all The Force Unleashed had going for it was the insane amount of fun you could have with the Force powers in the earlier levels because you weren't quite as restricted with them.  The ending levels are miles better than the latter levels of Psi-Ops, of course which helps, but at the same time it's not an effective metric to say "well, the ending levels could have been shittier".  It was an immense waste of potential and even though what we got was 'okay', that doesn't excuse the fact that you have possibly one of the most fun caste of mechanics in a game, and your end-product is marred by your insistence against using them properly.  I haven't read up on The Force Unleashed 2 much, but I've heard that it runs along the same lines while somehow having a worse story, which I don't even understand.  (Spoiler:  The Force Unleashed's story basically boils down to "EVERYONE WHO CAN MANIPULATE THE FORCE IS AN ASSHOLE")  I'll get it some day, but I have no doubt that I'll be similarly disappointed with it.

how do you make lightsabers not fun?  seriously

A Look Back - Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy

Way back in the beforetimes of 2004, a wonderfully flawed gem fell from the skies and landed in this realm to be judged.  And, while judged approvingly many never saw this gem.  Many more never even knew of its existence.  Branded with a logo carrying the name of Midway, the title of "Psi-Ops:  The Mindgate Conspiracy" etched in, the gem provided a façade not unusual for the time, but hardly telling of the glory it held.

Gaze upon, ye mighty.

I will go out on record saying that, if you do what is necessary, Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy will afford you one of the most satisfying gaming experiences you could ask for. If, of course, being the cause of controlled mayhem is satisfying to you. This is because Psi-Ops places you in the role of Nick Scryer, a man with no memories of anything, including who he is, stuck inside a facility that he doesn't remember going to, or even what it is. In very short order, you, the player, learn that he is a Psionic Agent who has infiltrated a Terrorist base with the goal, of course, to shut them down. Quite standard, sure, and the story is definitely not the game's finer point, and in fact, could very well be one of it's biggest flaws (though the bigger ones will be discussed later), but at this moment, the game starts you off, and gives you one of the biggest, best tools in it's arsenal: Telekinesis.

Also pictured:  A gun.  You will not need this.

Yes, the ability to move objects, as well as people, with your mind. Also a hand gesture.  As slightly pictured above, we see Nick holding up one of the soldiers up with his mind and his hand.  (I'll stop that now.)  Of course, the main fun with this power is that you do not simply -move- people and objects, should you desire.  Oh, no no no, what you can do is pick up a soldier on one end of the room and, with a simple flick of the control stick and letting go of the TK button, and launch him at a fellow soldier on the other end of the room.  What you can do, is pick up an explosive barrel and launch it with enough force at a group of soldiers that it breaks every law of physics (as explosive barrels are wont to do) and explodes, leaving them a heap of charred ex-opposition.  What you can do, is rush into a fight and simply throw everything not bolted down at whoever or whatever you wish, destroying everything without firing a single bullet from any of the guns you (needlessly) carry.

Sense a pattern?  What Telekinesis offers is the ability to have fun with the game.  One could argue that it is in fact the entirety of the fun with the game.  And is that a problem?  On most levels, no, of course not, fun is the objective, and this carries it out, but the restrictions, as they often do, seek out to spoil your fun.  Unsurprisingly, your Psionic powers are not infinite and every throw of a soldier, picking up of a crate, tossing of a barrel drains from your Psi Energy which can be replenished with conveniently available Vials in small and large sizes, as well as with the use of a power acquired later called Mind Drain.

I don't intend to do a walkthrough of the game here, so I'll simply list the rest of the powers that will become available to you and indicate their usefulness.

Remote Viewing - While interesting, as this power allows you to exit Nick's body and walk about, in first-person perspective, it's fairly useless, offering only one or two points during the game where it's actually necessary, forced even, and the battles are easy enough to win that you'll never need to use it for scouting, although it is certainly capable of that.

Mind Drain - This is one of the Holy Trinity of Psi Powers that you'll acquire during the game.  As implied by the name, this power allows you to syphon off Psionic Energy from unsuspecting guards/soldiers to continue your fun.  Unfortunately, the amount gained from a corpse (As is the most common way you'll find you can use this power, since it can't be used on opponents who can resist, as ones who've seen you already) is a mere pittance versus what you probably used to take him out.  This is where stealth comes in handy.  Sneaking up on someone affords you the opportunity to drain them fully, almost always refilling your gauge mostly, if not completely.  This almost always ends with a Scanners-Style head pop because, hey, why not.

Mind Control - This power falls just short of being eligible for the Holy Trinity of Psi Powers, surprisingly, as it does exactly what the name implies it will.  You take control of whomever you target and, from there, use them to flip a switch you can't quite reach or take out a few soldiers with some good old-fashioned gun-play since you cannot use other powers in conjunction with this one.  This is, of course, the downfall as well, as there is simply no satisfaction with the guns.  Sure, they fire, stuff falls, but there's no feedback from it, no impact with it, as other games provide.  If you're particularly sadistic, once you're done with this soldier, you'll most likely run him off a tall building, into one of the many hazards of the game, or (and this is not recommended, as it eats your psi energy like crazy) have him turn his gun on himself.

Pyrokinesis - Our third and final member of the Holy Trinity of Psi Powers, Pyrokinesis allows Nick to make one swipe of the hand from the ground and out to send forth a wave of flame, engulfing and immolating anything in its path.  This really needs no explanation.  You set anything on fire and throw it at a soldier and that soldier will also catch fire.  Or you simply skip the middle man and burn them where they stand!  Or perhaps even a conjunction of the two; I know I used that combo a lot.  Burn grunt, flaming corpse launch, cackle.

Aura View - There is no getting around it; if the devs hadn't implemented puzzles in the last couple levels of the game where you absolutely required Aura View, you would never use it.  What it does is alters your view so you can see things you might not otherwise.  Footprints, writing that's been removed, and, of course, psychic monsters and invisible bombs.  Wait what.  This power, of course, is a sign that you've made it to the point where the fun has definitely ended.

What the Christ?

What needs to be said, and I have made a few references to it, is that Psi-Ops is very very much a flawed game that can offer a solid experience....so long as you're comfortable with not beating it.

What starts out as a third-person shooter set in a military base, ends up being a third person shooter set in a military base with a bunch of bullshit everywhere.  Spoiler alert:  The last level includes a section filled with floating mines that you can't see without Aura View.  That you also cannot disarm through any means besides chucking a body into it.  At least, not that I've encountered.  Your own body will not work, of course, as you need your body and the mine will blow it the hell up.  "So there's infinite guards in that section?"  Why of course not, that would make it easy.  I'm sure you can take from that how things can go wrong.  

If you can't:  On my first play through, I was running about, throwing mans here and there, and just having a fine time trying to win the game until I ran into a corridor and promptly exploded.  Expletives were thrown as I finally managed to make it back there, turn on aura vision, only to see that there was no way I was getting through without getting rid of some of the bombs.  Gunshots didn't work, throwing objects didn't work.  Throwing a body?  Worked like a charm.  "Oh, I just need more bodies, then", I say, and walk about, expecting to find someone.  There was nobody, as, of course, thanks to limited technology, the bodies have to disappear for a while.  This quickly becomes an exercise in frustration in very obvious manners.

So how do you make this game the best experience you can make it?  Well, it's quite easy.

Step 1:  Find the Cheat Codes.  Yes, yes, as proper gamers, most of us have the ingrain aversion to cheating that some games have built into us (For me, namely, the Grand Theft Auto series, since they will disallow you from ever -fully- completing two of the games at least), but these codes are vital to your enjoyment.  You need these.  (For those of you that don't want to look them up, the two you will need are 537893 and 456456.)

Step 2:  Enter them and start the game.

Step 3:  Have fun until you run into our friends pictured above.

Step 4:  Take note of the level you were on, and declare loudly to yourself, "WELL, THAT SURE WAS A CRAZY NIGHTMARE NICK HAD", and start from the beginning again, convinced that what you played before was simply Nick having a crazy amnesiac nightmare.

Step 5:  Stop playing the game before the level you took note of.  Convince yourself that Nick simply won, use the last boss fight you encountered as 'the last boss' hand-wave away the lack of ending, and simply enjoy your fond memories, as well as the fun game you have.

As far as you're concerned, the rest of the game doesn't exist.  Really, it's the best thing for everyone, because, as I've stated several times, Psi-Ops has the capability to offer so much enjoyment.  Why would you want to ruin that for yourself and for the game?